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Citizens Of Puooiam, The Customer Is Always Right

, , | Right | September 1, 2008

Me: “… we will pick you up at the Pulliam airport.”

Customer: “How do you spell Pulliam?”

Me: “P as in Paul, U as Umbrella, L as in Lily–”

Customer: “Lily doesn’t start with O. You meant to say Oscar.”

Me: “But the letter is L. As in Lily, Lock, Luke…”

Customer: “None of those words start with O.”

Me: “You’re right… anyway, it’s spelled it PULLIAM.”

Customer: “You mean PUOOIAM.”

Me: “Sure…”

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Permission To Abuse, Denied

, , , | Right | August 30, 2008

(I’m trying to organize curtains, shams, valances, etc. when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “I certainly do, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: *snotty* “Yeah, can you get out of my way, please?”

Me: “…”

Customer: *to his wife* “I can say that to her because she works here!”

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Why Don’t You Call The Cops On ‘Em

, , , , | Right | August 30, 2008

(The number to our police department is only one digit off from a doctor’s office, so we often get wrong numbers.)

Me: “Police Department.”

Caller: “My doctor wrote a prescription for me for an X-ray and I need to make an appointment.”

Me: “Okay, and how can the police department help you?”

Caller: “Police department?! I was calling Dr. [Name]’s office! How DARE you answer his phone!”


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$20k A Year For Beer And Bongs

, , , | Right | August 29, 2008

(A bunch of college-aged frat-looking boys walk into the shoe store while I’m shopping there.)

Dude 1: “Duuuuuude this store smells like something.”

Dude 2: “I know dude, it smells like shoes!”

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Gastrointestinalcentrism

, , | Right | August 29, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant] Mexican Grill, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, do you have mashed potatoes?”

Me: “No, ma’am. This is a Mexican restaurant.”

Caller: “Oh. Do you have lasagna?”

Me: “No, ma’am… this is a MEXICAN restaurant.”

(The customer finally orders some tacos.)

Me: “Anything else, ma’am?”

Caller: “Do you have spaghetti?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We don’t have spaghetti.”

Caller: “WHAT KIND OF A RESTAURANT IS THIS?” *click*

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