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Chairs Up, Standards Down

, , , , | Working | September 3, 2018

(I work in a hotel. We’ve just renovated some rooms, and management has asked us to sleep in them for a night so we can talk about the improvements first hand. My coworker has decided to use his night to get VERY drunk. When he gets back to the hotel, I’m working on getting the floor swept and washed before breakfast. He works the overnight shift, same as I do.)

Coworker: “Why are the chairs up?”

Me: “So I can sweep and mop.”

(He’s been working this shift for a few months at this point, and this is part of every overnight shift.)

Coworker: “Why? It always looks clean to me.”

(He then stumbled off to his room and I made a note to talk to my manager to have some retraining done. It didn’t stick, and he didn’t last.)

The Husband Finally Shows Some Teeth

, , , , | Romantic | September 3, 2018

(I am at a surprise party that one of my friends has thrown for his wife. After the surprise, she goes back inside to change into some more comfortable clothes: a tee shirt and some velvet shorts with owls on them.)

Her Friend: “Oh, those are cute shorts!” *laughs*

Wife: “My husband actually wears them sometimes, too!”

Her Friend: “How does he pull that off?!”

Husband: “With my teeth!”

Mistrust By The Bucket Load

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2018

(The movie theater where I work has annual buckets that are $20 when you first buy them, but then you can bring it back and refill it for $4. I’m working in concession when a man and his 12-year-old son walk up to me.)

Customer: “I forgot my bucket at home!”

(I shrug this off because a lot of people forget their bucket.)

Me: “Okay… What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I want two tickets to [Movie].”

Me: “Okay! Any concessions? Drinks? Popcorn?”

Customer: “I forgot my bucket at home.”

Me: “Okay…?”

Customer: *gesturing to the stack of buckets I have next to me* “So can I…?”

Me: “I’m sorry… what?”

Customer: “I forgot my bucket; don’t you trust me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I cannot GIVE you a bucket.”

Customer: “But I forgot my bucket!”

Entitled: The TV Show

, , , | Right | September 3, 2018

(I work in the electronics department. Most of our customers are not too terrible, but being a rural town has its “quirks.” As such, we have more employees that can be just as abrasive when needed. I just get to the sales floor and start doing some chatting with my colleague, when a husband and wife walk up to the counter and this happens.)

Me: “Hello, can we help you find anything today?”

Husband: “You sure as h*** can!” *points at a TV display on a main aisle* “You see them 55″ TVs? I bought one of them f****** things a week ago for [price] WITH tax!”

Me: *bobbing my head, being understanding* “Okay, and was something wrong with it? If there was we—”

(The customer’s wife pipes up.)

Wife: “Nah, nothin’ like that. WE bought it for [price]! Not THAT price!”

Husband: “Yeah, now how’s come them TV’s are [price]?! If I knew that they would be this low I woulda f****** waited!”

(Confused, I look between the two customers.)

Me: “Well, that is unfortun—”

Husband: “We want one of them reimbursements! It ain’t fair that we bought our TV, and it changed price a week later!” *at this point they both are raising their voices*

(My brain has shut off as I look dumbfounded. Both my colleague and I look at each other completely at a loss for what to do, having never been trained for what entails a reimbursement.)

Me: “All right, give me one moment.” *I call over the walkie for management and then wait*

(The husband starts ranting about how unfair it is that there was a price change.)

Husband: “We are f****** ENTITLED to a reimbursement! I can’t believe how you guys could sell us that TV without telling us that the price would change! I mean, I understand you gotta sell this s***, but this just ain’t fair.”

Me: “Yes, well, I apologize, but I have no power over that. I also want to make sure that we can make the reimbursement. We don’t normally do that kind of thing and if it had been a week ago, I’m not too certain what the cut-off is. That seems more than likely up to manager’s discretion.”

(I have lost that “Peppy Happy voice” and drop to a more “steel, serious voice”, but manage to keep the smiles, as he curses more and rants about us not being “fair” and them being “entitled.”)

Manager: *walks up in full manager-mode* “What can I do for you all?”

(We explain the situation and she gives the go ahead for the reimbursement and notifies customer service, then the couple leaves.)

Me: *I shake my head, still annoyed* “I’m pretty certain that those TV’s have been on sale for more than a week, [Manager].”

Manager: “I wouldn’t doubt you guys, but hey, maybe the receipt will do something.”

Trying That Russian Medicine

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2018

(I am picking up groceries with my family. While we are checking out, I notice an old man behind us in line with both hands bandaged.)

Me: “Excuse me; can I help you check out?”

Old Man: “Why? Is it because I’m OLD?!”

Me: “Um…”

Old Man: “You young people assume I can’t do anything just because I’m old! I’m still perfectly capable of unloading my own— Oh. You were talking about my hands, weren’t you?”

Me: “…yes.”

Old Man: “That’s okay, then, young lady. I’m fine as long as I can hold my vodka in one hand and the TV remote in the other.”

(He proceeded to make conversation with me while I hid behind my uncle, mortified.)