Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Looks Real Good, Hurts Real Bad

, , , | Right | March 19, 2009

(I had a bag of large crystal beads salvaged from a chandelier. The beads were the size of my palm and very heavy. As I put them away in one of my bead boxes, a teenage girl walked up to my booth at a craft fair.)

Girl: “Hi! I love your stuff! Do you do custom orders?”

Me: “Yes, I do! Here, look through some of these bead boxes and tell me what you like.”

Girl: “Okay!”

(She looks through some boxes and gasps as she discovers the large crystal beads.)

Girl: “I love these! Can you make a pair of earrings with these?!”

Me: “Oh! Ha ha, those beads are for a lamp I’m making. They’re too heavy to use as earrings. May I interest you in a much smaller and lighter version of those beads?”

Girl: “NO! I want these! They’re so pretty and… bling-bling!”

Me: “Your piercings would sag if you wore those. Let me–”

Girl: “No! I’m the customer and this is what I want!”

Me: *sighing* “Fine. Come back in a few minutes, and I’ll have them done. It’ll be $12.”

(The girl looks at some other booths while I make her earrings. She returns, asks for her earrings, and pays for them.)

Girl: *putting on earrings “I love them! Thank you so much!”

Me: “Okay. Thank you, and remember what I said about the beads.”

Girl: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. The beads are like crazy light!”

(The girl leaves, looking ridiculous with the earrings, but then returns about half an hour later.)

Girl: “My ears are killing me!”

Me: “I told you the beads were too heavy, but you still wanted them!”

Girl: “It’s not the beads, it’s the wire! I must be allergic to it.”

Me: “There’s no need to yell. I use hypoallergenic materials in all my pieces. There’s no way you can be allergic to it. It’s because the beads are too heavy. I can give you a refund, but you have to give me the earrings back.”

Girl: “No! It must be the glass, then. I’m allergic to the glass! What kind of glass is this?”

Me: “…allergic to glass? Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘with beauty comes pain’? Well, this explains it.”

Girl: “Oh! I get it now! Wow, if it hurts this much I must look A-MA-ZING! *skips off*

1 Thumbs
6,557

Strange Math In These Here Parts

, , | Right | March 18, 2009

Customer: “What time is check-in at your hotel?”

Me: “3 pm.”

Customer: “And check out?”

Me: “11 am.”

Customer: “Okay, so we got four hours.”

Me: “Um, yeah…”

1 Thumbs
1,437

Well, That Narrows It Down

, , | Right | March 18, 2009

(The guy asks for a couple of beef brisket sandwiches, but has not specified the type of bread.)

Me: “Sir, what type of bread would you like with your sandwiches?”

Customer: “Uh…”

Me: “We have wheat, rye, white, sourdough, nine-grain…”

Customer: “Do you have that one, you know, the square kind?”

1 Thumbs
1,645

And Her Roots Were Blonde

, , , | Right | March 18, 2009

(I’m working a graveyard shift. It’s 3:00 am and a girl comes in, obviously more than mildly inebriated.)

Customer: “Umm… so, I came in here an hour ago and bought a Pepsi, and I, like, took a drink of it just now, and there was, like, a hair in the Pepsi. Can I get another one for free?”

Me: “Do you mean there was a hair in the bottle when you drank it?”

Customer: “No, um, like, I took a drink, and one of my hairs got in my mouth at the same time, and I guess I bit it off and drank it, too, and that was really gross so I, like, threw the Pepsi away.”

Me: “So you swallowed your own hair, and you want me to pay for your Pepsi to make up for it?”

Customer: “Exactly! I’m sooooo glad you understand me!”

Me: “Um, no. You’re gonna have to pay, actually.”

Customer: “Aww, I knew that wouldn’t work. I told him that wouldn’t work. He, like, told me I was cute enough that you’d give me free stuff, but I knew it wouldn’t work. Oh, well. I’ll pay, I guess!”

(She goes to the cooler and starts tapping on the lids of various bottles with her finger, before deciding on one half-way back on the rack, requiring her to take a dozen bottles off before getting to hers, and coming to the counter with it, leaving the rest on the floor.)

Me: “Um… what were you doing?”

Customer: “Checking for a fresh one! They, like, sound different! You work here; you should totally know that! You’re not very good at your job, are you?”


This story is part of the Convenience Store roundup!

Read the next Convenience Store roundup story!

Read the Convenience Store roundup!

1 Thumbs
2,245

COD 4: Trout At War

, , , | Right | March 18, 2009

(I witnessed from one of the checkout lines.)

Customer: “Do you have COD 4?”

Employee:Call of Duty 4? Yes, we–”

Customer: “No, no, no, not Call Of Duty 4. COD 4!”

Employee: “Sir, COD 4 stands for Call Of Duty 4…”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t! The customer is always right! Now bring me a copy of COD 4 right now!”


This story is part of the Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup!

Read the next Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup story!

Read the Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup!

1 Thumbs
2,420