A State Of Mindlessness, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2011

Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve noticed that all these pieces of wood have a sticker on them that says they contain a product that is believed to cause cancer in the state of California.”

Me: “Yes, that is just a sticker the company has left on there because we also sell in California.”

Customer: “So, since I live here in Washington I won’t get cancer, right?”

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A Nugget Of Truth Can Get You In Trouble

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2011

(The fast food restaurant I work at has a bar right behind and our drive-thru stays open until two am. Like most fast food places, we cannot serve you in the drive-thru if you aren’t in a car.)

Customer #1: *walks up and bangs on the drive-thru window* “Hey!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer #1: “I want a cheeseburger and some fries. Oh and a shake.”

Customer #2: “And nuggets, don’t forget nuggets!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t serve you unless you are in a car.”

Customer #1: “But I’ve been drinking.”

Me: “I understand, but it’s not safe to have people in the drive-thru when they aren’t in their car.”

Customer #1: “Okay.”

(About twenty minutes later, they pull around very fast, passing the menu. I notice his unfinished beer is sitting between his knees.)

Customer #1: “Okay. I want a cheeseburger–”

Me: “Sir, do you realize that you are now drinking and driving and I can call the police?”

([Customer #1] goes white and starts to drive away.)

Customer #2: *as they pull away* “You forgot my nuggets!”


This story is part of our Junk Food Day roundup!

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Not Quite The Code To Success

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2011

(A friend of mine comes in to buy something. I help her find it, check her out, and we make plans to meet up after my shift is over. We’re both 22-year-old brunette girls.)

Coworker: “Hey, I think there’s a guy on the phone for you. Did you just help a tall brunette girl?”

Me: “Yep, I’ll take the call.”

(I take the phone.)

Me: “Hello this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Did you just help a girl find a book?”

Me: “Yes, it was a copy of the new Margaret Atwood book. Would you like a copy?”

Caller: “Is that like a code or something?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Caller: “Someone asks for that book and you go home with them?”

Me: “Sir, she just happened to be a friend of mine. We made plans to hang out later today. Can I help you find a book?”

Caller: “Oh, so is there a book code that means I can have a threesome with you two?”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: “Wait, are you the one with big boobs or no boobs?”

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A-Pee-l For An Appointment

, , , | Healthy Right | February 21, 2011

(Some of the exams we schedule require that a patient have a full bladder at the time of the exam in order to get the appropriate images.)

Caller: “Hi, I was hoping you might have an opening for an OB ultrasound this afternoon?”

Me: “I’m sorry, the schedule is actually very full today. I could get her in tomorrow afternoon, if you’d like?”

Caller: “No, that’s okay. She’s just here now with a full bladder and we didn’t want to waste it.”

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Adapt Your Knowledge Or Become Incontinent

, , , , | Right | February 21, 2011

(A customer is looking for a travel adapter for Egypt.)

Me: “Here is one that will work. It is for Africa?”

Customer: “I am not going to Africa. I am going to Egypt!”

Me: “Egypt is on the African continent.”

Customer: “Africa is a continent?”


This story is part of our 2nd Terrible At Geography roundup!

Read the next Terrible At Geography roundup story!

Read the 2nd Terrible At Geography roundup!

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