Sure, We Have A Cow Out Back (Part 2)

, | Right | December 1, 2007

Customer: “Um… yes, are you guys going to put out more skim milk?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we’re all out of white milk, both skim and 2%. All we have left is chocolate.”

Customer: “Completely out?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we’re completely out.”

Customer: “Oh, well. Do you think you could make some more?”

Me: “Are you serious?!”


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All That For Nothing

, , | Right | November 30, 2007

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, please, you sell doonoo?”

Me: “I’m sorry? Do we sell what?”

Customer: *points at menu board* “You know, noots!”

Me: *looks up to where he’s pointing which is a picture of some bagels* “Bagels?”

Customer: “No! Noots! Doonoots!”

(This goes on for several minutes, both of us getting more and more frustrated, until…)

Me: “Wait, are you saying nuts?”

Customer: “Yes, yes!”

Me: “We have peanuts for our ice cream sundaes.”

Customer: “No, no, no. DOOnoots!”

Me: *with a huge smile of understanding* “You mean doughnuts?!”

Customer: “Yes!”

(Keep in mind we have been working on this for a good five minutes. He now looks so excited that what I say next nearly breaks my heart.)

Me: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t sell doughnuts.”


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TMI (Too Much Information)

, , , | Right | November 29, 2007

(I am working on the customer service desk and answer a call from a customer inquiring about a special order they had placed.)

Customer: “Yes, my name is [Customer]. The name of the DVD is Spring Break.”

(I put the customer’s details into the computer, and the search results say the full name of the DVD is “Spring Break Sex Riot” which also has an…. explicit cover on it. I assume that there must have been a mistake and the wrong title was ordered.)

Me: “Um… I think I found your order here on the system, but it hasn’t arrived in the store yet. I think there might be a mistake here. Could you give me some more details about the film?”

Customer: “Ah, man, you’re missing out! You have to see it! It’s about all these hot chicks who go on spring break and have lots of sex! It’s excellent!”

Me: *glad I have never been this desperate*

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You Can Lead A Horse To Water…

, , , | Right | November 29, 2007

(A young man from Fullerton, CA calls to get our address in Rancho Cordova, CA.)

Caller: “Rancho Cordova? What coast is that on?”

Me: “We are in California, just like you.”

Caller: “Oh… So, East?”

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Belaboring The Obvious

, | Right | November 28, 2007

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. You called a bookstore.”

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