Coworker: “I heard it’s your birthday today?”

Me: “That’s right!”

Coworker: *suddenly irritated* “Well, you should have told us! We could have had a party!”

Me: “I really don’t feel like making a deal over it.”

(True, but what I was really thinking: I don’t want to be the group’s excuse for yet another day of slacking off.)

(I work at a spa that has a specialty body mask treatment. This mask can be placed anywhere except on the forehead, because it can burn your eyes when you are rinsing it. We warn guests before and after the treatment. After applying the product, we ask the guest if they would like some on their face, and simultaneously let them know not to place it on their forehead.)

Me: “All right! I am all done here. Would you like to apply some to your face?”

Guest: “Oh, sure! Please do so.”

Me: “All right, no problem. You can apply anywhere except your forehead, because when you wash it off it can seep into your eyes and it will burn.”

(I pour the rest of the product onto her hands.)

Guest: “Oh, sure. No problem, honey. Thank you very much.”

(The guest then applies the product all over her face and forehead.)

Me: “…”

My parents’ front door was damaged, and now lets out a loud screech when you open it, and has to be slammed shut to close it. Dad is retired, and my mom asks him to fix it. He keeps procrastinating, and this makes my mom upset. The door is on the opposite side of their bed and he wakes her up when he comes and goes after she’s gone to bed. She tries to fix it herself or to hire someone, but this results in fights as Dad thinks it should only be his responsibility. He tells her to just wear earplugs and deal with the noise in the meantime.

It’s been broken and a point of contention for over a year when the water main at my house needs to be repaired. My parents let my family stay with them for a week while it’s repaired.

The first night we are there, I have to do a midnight store run for a forgotten toiletry. I come back in, slamming the door, and hear my dad grumbling about it, waking him up.  

The next morning, I leave for work at five am. My husband gets the kids up and breakfasted, then leaves to take the youngest two to school at seven. A half hour later, my sister comes by to pick up my oldest child for school. Then, my husband comes back to finish getting ready for work. After he leaves again, my mom leaves for work. With each one, a slam of the door.

I return home from work that night to find my dad grumbling and repairing the door. Apparently, he didn’t get a wink of sleep that night, and couldn’t imagine dealing with a whole week of it!

(My husband and I go to breakfast in a local diner. As we sit down and start looking over the menu, an older couple comes in and sits down right next to us. This is a very small place, and the tables are super close to one another. When their breakfast comes, the woman takes a bite of her home fries, throws down her fork, and yells for the waitress.)

Woman: “These home fries aren’t crispy enough. I specifically asked that they be crispy!”

(I heard her place her order, and she said nothing about the home fries being crispy.)

Waitress: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you’d like, I can have them put back on the grill for a couple of minutes.”

Woman: “Yes, put them back on the grill. And when you bring them back, they had better be crispy!”

(After a few minutes, the waitress returns with the home fries. The woman starts picking at them with her fork.)

Woman: “These are still not crispy! I told you I wanted them crispy! You get the owner out here right now!”

(The waitress goes to the back of the diner and briefly speaks with the owner, who already knows what’s going on since the place is small and the woman is practically yelling. The owner comes out to the customer’s table.)

Owner: “Ma’am, I’m sor—”

Woman: “This is ridiculous! I don’t know what is wrong with you people that you can’t give a person crispy home fries when they want them!”

Owner: “You won’t be charged for the home fries.”

Woman: “I’m not paying for any of this breakfast! It’s disgusting!”

Owner: *completely fed up* “Fine, then. Get out, and don’t ever come back.”

Woman: “Well, I never! You’re very rude, and I’m going to tell all my friends how you treat your customers, and that they should never give you their business!”

Owner: “Lady, with your rotten attitude, I’m surprised you have any friends!”

(The woman’s jaw dropped, and she got up abruptly and stormed out the door. Everyone in the place heard the exchange, and we all gave the owner the applause she deserved.)

(I work in the bakery of a grocery store. A woman comes up to the counter at about 9:40 pm to place a cake order. This shouldn’t be a problem, even though we close at ten. I take the order with no issue, but it requires a deposit; also something that shouldn’t be a problem.)

Me: “Ma’am, this needs a deposit, so would you mind coming to the front now so you can pay it?”

(She agrees, and we go to the registers.)

Customer: “Oh, wait, I still need a few things, so I’ll be back in a moment to pay for that.”

(Because I need to make sure the cashier gives me a copy of the receipt, this leaves me sitting there. The woman doesn’t come back until after the manager has made the announcement it’s time for the store to close, and then there are three people in line in front of her.)

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realize you would have to wait for me.”

Me: *later, to coworker* “Why the h*** did she think I personally escorted her up there?”