Inventory Reality Check

, , , | Right | January 20, 2009

Customer: *to me, serious* “So, are you 50% off, too?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your sign says that everything is 50% off. That includes you, right?”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I am not for sale. The sale is only on Christmas items, and I am not included.”

Customer: *still serious* “But you work here! That means you’re for sale, too!”

(After a five-minute battle, he finally gave up and walked out empty-handed.)

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Generosity Which Knows No Bounds

, , , , , , | Right | January 20, 2009

(We are having a toy drive. If you buy and donate any $5 toy, you can receive 20% off your entire purchase. A woman wearing a fur coat is buying five bags of toys.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you be interested in donating a toy today? Since your total comes to $400, you’d save $80–”

Customer: *angrily* “My husband and I donate to CHARITY, so I don’t think I need to be guilt-tripped into your awful little toy drive!”

Me: “Your total is $400, then.”

Customer: “Is there any way I can get a discount?”

Me: “No… No, I’m afraid not.”


This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

Read the next Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup story!

Read the Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

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Better Safe Than Sorry

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2009

(I am just finishing up a sale with an older gentleman for show tickets.)

Me: “Okay, just to let you know, there are no refunds or exchanges for these tickets, and the show does contain shooting, swearing, and smoking.”

Customer: “I hope not in my row!”

Me: *confused* “Well, it’s a show… You can see everything from every seat… so–”

Customer: “I’m talking about the shooting!”

Me: “Oh! Well, no… they shoot each other on-stage…”

Customer: “Not the audience?”

Me: “Not the audience. What kind of theater do you think we’re running here?!”

Customer: “I don’t know… I just don’t want to get shot.”

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Off To A Great Start

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2009

Customer: “Hi, can I talk to a manager?”

Me: “I’m the manager on duty. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “YOU’RE the manager on duty?! You look like you’re about sixteen! *laughs with disbelief and scorn*

Me: “Well, I’m twenty-four, and I am a manager here. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Can I have a job application?”

Me: “Um… sure.”

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Eggs, Milk, Bondage Gear…

, , , , , | Right | January 19, 2009

(I was working for a grocery store in Panama City Beach, which is a big tourist spot. I was bagging this couple’s groceries – which included condoms – when this exchange occurred.)

Me: “So, you must be from out of town, then?”

Customer: “Yeah, we’re only here for a few days. Just getting the necessities, y’know?”

(Just then, a pair of handcuffs comes rolling down the conveyor belt.)

Me: “Just the necessities, eh?”

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