Unfiltered Story #158347

, | | Unfiltered | July 20, 2019

(I’m ringing at a restaurant that serves souffles for breakfast. It’s an hour after we open, but it’s always pretty slow. Because of this, we only ever bake a few souffles to start with. A woman approaches my till and sighs loudly.)

Woman: You don’t have any!

Me: I’m sorry. What exactly did you want?

Woman: *rolling her eyes* You don’t have any ham souffles! Why not?! Every time I come in here, you never have any ham souffles, but always have lots of cheese souffles!

Me: I’m sorry that we ran out – I do know that particular batch of souffles had only a couple ham souffles to start with, and someone else came in and bought those when the store first opened.

Woman: Well this is ridiculous! This happens all the time! Can’t you just make me another one?

Me: Unfortunately, it will take about twenty minutes to make another batch. If you can’t wait that long, you can always pick from the other three types of souffles available at the moment.

Woman: No, I only want ham! You should really bake more of them you know. I come in here all the time and there’s always more cheese souffles than ham ones! Why can you never get it right? Let me talk to your manager!

Me: Certainly; one moment, please.

(I get my general manager, and apparently the customer and the GM have discussed this in the past.)

GM: As I’ve said before, our souffles are made in batches and therefore we cannot make more if we have plenty of the other types of souffles. If you wake up one morning feeling like, hey, you want a ham souffle, you are welcome to call us ahead of time, and we will be more than happy to set one aside for you. I apologize that we have run out this morning, but if you are willing to wait, we can make another batch of souffles in twenty minutes since we only have a few of the other souffles left.

(The woman seems to think we should be able to read her mind and know what days she will want to come in, so she shouldn’t have to bother with calling, but in the end, she decides to wait the twenty minutes. Approximately 18 minutes go by when she comes back up to my till in a huff.)

Woman: This is taking too long, so I’m just not going to get one! You really should make more of the ham souffles!

(She flounced out of the store, just as her souffle was about to come out of the oven! A month later, I saw her at a different location and she was still complaining about their ham souffles and saying that my store would never make them right and would never listen to her.)

Falling Into The Upside Down

, , , , , | | Friendly | July 19, 2019

(My friends and I have gotten together for the weekend and my friend whose house we’re staying at can’t find her corkscrew. Since her parents live in the same complex, we go over to get their corkscrew. While we’re there, the weather starts getting nasty and raining hard, so the topic comes up about how we’d weather the storm if there was a tornado since the houses don’t have basements.)

Friend’s Mom: “I’d go hide in the crawl space.”

Friend #1: “We’d be safe in the bathtubs.”

Friend #2: “When it came up at school, I told my students I’d jump out the window and hope I didn’t crash through the grate below.”

Me: *mishearing* “What’s the Great Below?”

Friend #2: *laughing* “You know, grate? Like a piece of metal?”

Me: *laughing* “Yay for homonyms!”

Her Intent Is Deafeningly Clear

, , , , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(I work in a fast food franchise that specializes in sandwiches and curly fries. I wear hearing aids. Three customers come up, and the following happens:)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]; order whenever you’re ready.”

Customer #1: “I’d like a [meal #1] with fries and a drink, thanks.”

Me: “All right. Would you like to make it small, medium, or large?”

Customer #1: “Just a large, thank you.”

Me: “Sounds good.”

Customer #2: “I’d like a [meal #2].”

Me: “Would you like it as a combo?”

Customer #2: “Sure.”

Me: “Small, medium, or large?”

Customer #2: “Medium, please.”

Me: “All right, and you?”

Customer #3: “I’d like a [sandwich #3], no fries or drink.”

Me: “All right. I have a [meal #1] with a large drink and fries, a [meal #2] with a medium drink and fries, and a [sandwich #3]. Is there anything else?”

Customer #3: “That’s not what I ordered!”

(Something about their tone makes me think there is going to be trouble.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you’d like, I can get the manager.”

Customer #3: “Do it!”

(I go and get the manager, who takes the order again on the other register and sure enough, it’s the exact same.)

Customer #3: “I didn’t order any of that!”

Manager: “It shows here [Customer #1] ordered a [meal #1] as a large, [Customer #2] ordered a [meal #2] as a medium, and you ordered a [sandwich #3].”

Customer #3: “I demand free food!”

Manager: “I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that here.”

Customer #1: “We’re so sorry. I think she thinks she’s entitled to free stuff just because she noticed your worker is deaf and thinks she is ‘incompetent.’”

(The manager kicked out [Customer #3]. Sadly, I don’t work there anymore, but that is still my favorite manager to this day.)

I Can Scare You In My Sleep

, , , , | | Related | July 19, 2019

(My father’s side of the family is quite large — he has eight siblings — and they have a lake cottage that is shared between the group. A whole bunch of people gather for some events like the Fourth of July, and other times individual families will go up. My family lives farther away, so we don’t usually use the cottage, but when I am around thirteen or fourteen we go down for a week. I am sharing a room with a cousin my age. One night, at around one in the morning, she is up texting her friends, while I have been asleep for a while. Suddenly…)

Me: *sitting straight up in bed* “Hello, [Cousin].”

Cousin: “[My Name]? Are… are you awake?”

Me: “I am not awake. I am in your nightmares.” *lies back down*

Cousin: *screams*

(Apparently, I sleep-talk.)

The Customer Is Always Right: A Paradox

, , , , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(I’m in the checkout line. A guy in front of me is whining and reprimanding the cashier about how he never gets good customer service here. He has already paid, so he’s just wasting my time at this point. The cashier, a youngish female, is being sweet and patient with him, but she’s obviously agitated by him, and I’m getting annoyed.)

Customer: “I remember when the customer was always right.”

Me: “I’m a customer. You, sir, are an annoying douche. I’m a customer, so I’m always right.”

Customer: *looks at me* “I’m annoying?”

(I assume he’s asking me a question, although he could simply be confirming his agreement with my assessment.)

Me: *smile, shrug* “You betcha.”

Customer: “I bet you voted for Hillary Clinton!” *leaves*

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