My mother-in-law went to the eye doctor today and was looking at new frames. She’d picked out five or six frames to try, and suddenly she didn’t know where her glasses were.

It didn’t take her long until she’d realized she’d put her glasses on one of the spots where the sample frames were. It took her and another customer a few minutes to find them.

We all had a good laugh about it at dinner.

(It is the mid-2000s. I’m visiting friends out of state. We’re getting ready to go see a drag show at a local alternative bar. There are four of us: a recently-married couple who are visiting, a male friend, and me. The single guy makes a comment about not wanting to get hit on by other men.)

Husband: “You want to wear a wedding ring so everyone thinks you’re married?”

Wife: “Yes, we have an extra wedding band! We bought the wrong size, and because it is titanium, we couldn’t get it resized. Let me find it.”

(She finds the ring and it fits, so off we head to relax and enjoy the show. We find a space at the bar and are relaxing for a bit before our married friend realizes something.)

Wife: “Hey, [Male Friend], I just realized we ordered the same band for [Husband], only a size down…”

Male Friend: “Yeah…”

Wife: “So… you and [Husband] are wearing matching wedding bands.”

(Watching the realization flit across his face was great. We all had a good laugh about it and how we didn’t catch it earlier. Well, maybe the wife did but waited to see if we’d catch on ourselves. I think he opted to keep the ring on because it’d still work as intended, even if not in the way he’d anticipated.)

(I work at a bookstore and this is a couple of years ago when ‘The Great Gatsby’ movie came out.)

Customer: “Do you have that new book, The Great Gatsby?”

Me: *sighs* “…follow me.”

(I work at a bookstore and a customer comes up to the register with several teen romance vampire books including ‘Twilight.’)

Customer: “I love vampire books! I can’t get enough of them! I’ve basically read them all.”

Me: “Yeah, I like vampire books, too. Especially Anne Rice.”

Customer: “Who?”

(I am looking for a specific bottle of wine for a customer. I am in a rush to find this bottle when a middle-aged customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *still looking* “Yes?”

Customer: “If I drink four bottles of this, will I get drunk?”

Me: “Probably.” *I find the bottle and pick it up*

Customer: “Well, how much alcohol is in one of these?”

Me: “I think it varies by brand. Um, this brand here has [percentage] of alcohol.”

Customer: “Hmm… [percentage] times four… that will probably get me drunk.”