Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2010

(Note: this customer has heard that a girl is celebrating her birthday on Friday the 13th.)

Customer: “I hope my birthday never falls on Friday the 13th!”

Me: “When’s your birthday?”

Customer: “May 20th!”

1 Thumbs
2,711

When The Boob Tube Just Won’t Do

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2010

(I work at an office that has various different offices and two small studios for some of the graphic designers, movie editors, and musicians that work with us. I work as one of the tech support guys and am fixing the computer at the reception desk when a teenager walks in.)

Customer: “Hey, do you work here?”

Me: “Yeah, can I help you?”

Customer: “So what do you guys do here?”

Me: “Well, everyone here does something different. I happen to be tech support.”

Customer: “Cool. Do they make movies here?”

Me: “I’m not sure. They might.”

Customer: “Right on. Do you know what kind?”

Me: “Well, they have a green screen so I’m not sure.”

Customer: “Do you know if they make any adult movies here?”

Me: “Like I said, I’m not sure. I’m not sure what they do in the studios.”

Customer: “Can I take a tour?”

Me: “Look, I’m the tech support guy.. I’m not authorized to give you a tour.”

Customer: “Come on. I’ll give you $5!”

Me: “I’m not going to risk my job over $5.”

Customer: “I swear, people like you make it hard for people like me to see boobies!”

1 Thumbs
2,072

Intelligence Levels Are Falling

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2010

(It is the peak of foliage in the fall. We’ve just had a few massive rainstorms and lost a lot of the leaves that had already changed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Lodge]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “We wanted to come up and stay to check out the foliage. About how far would you say you are from peak?”

Me: “Well, we were probably about a week away, but after recent storms, we lost a lot of the leaves.”

Customer: “About how many would you say you lost?”

Me: “Um, I would say maybe half?”

Customer: “Do you think you’ll be getting any more?”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

Read the next Mother Nature roundup story!

Read the Mother Nature roundup!

1 Thumbs
1,576

Anatomically Correct Vs Politically Incorrect

, , , | Right | November 16, 2010

(I’m in the restroom while on duty in uniform. I walk in the door.)

Customer: *startled* “Oh!”

Me: “Sorry, excuse me.”

Customer: “You people use the bathroom, too?”

Me: “Yes. We only have the one, so everyone uses the same one.”

Customer: “I guess I never thought of you as real people.”

1 Thumbs
2,766

Married To No One Inn Particular

, , , , , , | Right | November 15, 2010

(I’m checking in a woman who walked into our hotel. We have two rooms left, and are one of the pricier hotels in the area.)

Me: “Your room will be [price] plus tax per night.”

Customer: “You don’t have anything cheaper?”

Me: “Not right now. We are almost sold out tonight.”

Customer: “Not Triple A?”

Me: No, I’m sorry.

Customer: *mumbling* “My house burned down!”

Me: “I’m very sorry.”

Customer: *mumbling* “I’m dying!”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “My husband just died!”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “He was in the military! I want a room for a hundred dollars less!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t ever offer rooms that low. There are hotels right across the street that do, though.”

Customer: “No! I want to stay here! My husband loves this place. It’s the only place he will stay.”

Me: “Your deceased husband?”

Customer: “Uh, no, the other one.”

Me: “Your other husband?”

Customer: “Just give me a room.”

(She gets keys, walks out of the hotel, and returns with a man.)

Customer: “See, he isn’t dead!”

Me: “I’m glad to see that.”

Customer: *to man* “She was trying to kill you!”

1 Thumbs
2,978