Hey Look, It’s Raining Change

, , , | Right | February 12, 2008

A lady walks in with a bunch of change in her hands.

Lady: “Can you give me a dollar bill for all this change?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s against company policy to open the register unless I am making a sale.”

Lady: “But you just opened the register for that kid.”

Me: “Yes, because I was making a sale.”

Lady: “This is bull-s***. You aren’t helping me because I’m Hispanic!”

She starts swearing at me in Spanish and English.

Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.”

She continues yelling.

Me: “Have a good day.”

She is still yelling.

Me: “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

The lady is about two feet away from me and throws all of her coins at me. I didn’t move because I was in shock. She managed to not hit me with one single coin.

Me: “Ma’am, you dropped your change.”


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Whoever Blinks First Loses

, , , | Right | February 11, 2008

(It is Christmas time, and we are all extra wary of credit card fraud, so we are required to check IDs with all credit card purchases.)

Me: “The total is $17.88.”

(Customer pulls out a credit card.)

Me: “Will that be credit or debit?”

Customer: “Credit.”

Me: “All right. Do you mind if I see your ID?”

Customer: “What if I do mind?”

Me: “Then we’re at a stalemate.”

(I folded my arms, and looked at her straight in the eyes.)


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An Expensive Temper Tantrum

, , | Right | February 10, 2008

(I was cashiering and couldn’t help but overhear a woman screaming and waving her receipt at my Store Director in front of the exit/entrance to the store.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I came to see if the food I buy is cheaper than at [competitor] and it is. But they always give me a free bag after I get a certain amount of points!”

Director: “I know they do. But we aren’t them, we simply don’t do that.”

Customer: “Well why not?!”

Director: “We just don’t. It’s not my decision to make.”

Customer: “UGH!” *rips up the receipt and throws it in the directors face* “FINE THEN, I’LL BUY FROM [competitor] INSTEAD!!”

Director: “Okay, have a nice day!” *waves pleasantly and walks over to me to give me change that I needed*

Me: “Did she just leave without getting a refund for those five 40 lb. bags of dog food?”

(Note: this comes to approximately $125 without tax.)

Director: “Yup, and she ripped up the receipt and didn’t take it with her, which means she has no proof she ever bought the food.”

Me: “…so if she comes back?”

Director: *smiles wide* “Tell her that you need to see the proof.”

(The woman never returned for her refund. Thanks for the $125, lady.)

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Jesus, Now Peanut Free!

, , , , | Right | February 9, 2008

(It is Ash Wednesday and we have kids from next door come over for Mass in the morning. I’m serving as a communion minister as the kids start to come up. One little guy comes up right away and just stands there with his hands at his sides looking at me.)

Me: “Do you take communion yet?”

Boy: “Do those have peanuts?”

Me: “?”

Boy: “‘Cause I can’t have peanuts.”

Me: “No peanuts here, but have you had communion yet?”

Boy: “I don’t think I should, just in case there’s peanuts. I can’t have any.”

Me: “How about we just give you a blessing, then?”

(I make the sign of a cross on his forehead and give him a blessing.)

Boy: “Thanks, maybe next time there won’t be any peanuts. I can’t have those.”

(I wonder if we should make up a “Jesus – Now Peanut Free!” sign, just in case.)


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Paging Miss Cleo

, , | Right | February 9, 2008

Customer: “Do you have that movie with that guy?”

Me: “Which guy?”

Customer: “Don’t you know what I’m talking about?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t, but if you could tell me which actor was in the movie perhaps I could think of it for you.”

Customer: “You know, that one that was in that movie.”


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