Knocked It Before He Thai’d It

, , , , , | Right | November 22, 2010

(Our store has a hot lunch station, which includes soup made in-house.)

Customer: “Is there a schedule for the soups? Like, is it the same thing week after week?”

Me: “It is right here.” *pointing to this month’s soup menu*

Customer: “It seems like the soups lately have all been kind of, well, leftish fringe. All red lentils and stuff.”

(He scrutinizes the menu, muttering to himself.)

Customer: “Ha! ‘German Sausage and Potato.’ That’s normal. Who knows what the h*** is in ‘Thai Curry.’”

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Inventors Should Get Out Of Their Shell

, , , , | Right | November 21, 2010

Coworker: *on phone* “For a turtle? No, ma’am, we only have those for cats and dogs… I’ve never heard of that before, but if they exist, we don’t carry them… I’m sorry, I’m a cashier and I’m not allowed to make those kinds of decisions… Okay, you’re welcome.” *hangs up phone*

Me: “Did she want a pet carrier for a turtle?”

Coworker: “Yeah, and when I told her that we don’t have them, she asked if we would carry them if she invented one.”

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Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday, Part 2

, , , , | Healthy Right | November 20, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah. I had a baby at your hospital about a week ago, and when I was discharged I got a lot of papers and some samples. One of the papers says something about a PKU test.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. How can I help you with that?”

Caller: “Well, it says on this paper that I need to bring my ‘new arrival’ to registration and they would help me get the PKU test done. I want you to know that I have looked all through the papers and stuff you gave me and I can’t find anything marked ‘new arrival.’ What is this ‘new arrival’ I am supposed to bring with me when I come in?”

Me: “Ma’am, that would be your infant child… Your new baby.”

Caller: “Oh, my freaking God! If you mean ‘new baby’ then write ‘new baby’! Not everyone understands this hospital medical jargon!”

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Directionless Call, Part 2

, , , , | Right | November 20, 2010

Me: “Hello, this is [Company].”

Caller: “Hi, who just called me?”

Me: “I’m not sure. You’ve reached general reception.”

Caller: “Well, someone just called me from this number.”

Me: “Sorry, but there’s no way for me to tell who called you, as this is the general number.”

Customer: “What are you?”

(I explain the company.)

Customer: “I didn’t understand anything about what you just said. Why did you call me?”

Me: “It could be a wrong number.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Stop wasting my time by calling me if you don’t know who you are, please!”

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Off The Clock, Customer Block, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | November 19, 2010

Customer: “Are you guys open on Saturday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. We are open Monday through Friday from nine am to six pm.”

Customer: “Well, could you get someone to come in? I’m in a hurry and this really can’t wait all weekend.”

Me: “So, you want us to come in on our day off so we can work on your order?”

Customer: “Well, when you say it like that, you make me sound like I’m being a jerk.”

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