(I work in a cafe that also serves ice cream. Customers can add toppings to their ice cream, and we usually have them tell us their allergies before we make their ice cream.)

Me: “Good afternoon! Are you thinking about getting ice cream or coffee?”

Customer: *who is really nice* “I want to get ice cream.”

Me: “Okay, what kind?”

Customer: “I’ll take vanilla with Reese’s cups.”

Me: “Okay.” *starts putting the order in*

Customer: “I’m allergic to peanuts.”

Me: *stops putting the order in* “Ma’am, Reese’s has peanuts in it. Are you sure you want Reese’s in your ice cream?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m definitely allergic to peanuts.” *proceeds to pull an epi-pen out of her purse* “But I’m not allergic to the peanuts in Reese’s.”

Me: *stutters* “Okay, so, you really want Reese’s in your ice cream, but you are allergic to peanuts.”

Customer: *still happy* “Yeah. So, make sure you use a new scoop and rinse everything, just in case there’s peanut residue. I’m allergic to peanuts.”

Me: *completely stupefied* “Okay, is that all today?”

Customer: “No, I have another order for ice cream. My daughter wants vanilla with cherries. But she’s allergic to dairy, so make sure your ice cream is dairy-free.”

(The customer wound up getting all her ice cream, and neither of them had an allergic reaction in the store.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 14
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 13
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 12

(The pharmacy where I work is the only 24-hour one in town. We keep all our narcotics in a time-delayed safe that we don’t open at night. The only exception is a few we keep out for hospital patients. One night after 11:00 pm, a lady comes through the drive-thru to drop off a script for one of these medications.)

Me: “We have this in stock and we can have it ready for you around 7:00 am.”

Lady: “I can’t get it now? I’ve been out all day! Can’t you just give me a couple to get me by?”

(I’m thinking, “If you’ve been out all day, why wait until this late at night to get more?”)

Me: “This is in a time-delayed safe, so we can’t fill these at night.”

Lady: “Well, what’s the point in being a full-service, 24-hour pharmacy if you can’t fill prescriptions at night?”

Me: “We can fill most prescriptions at night, but this is in our time-delayed safe which can’t be opened after eight.”

Lady: “I don’t care about anyone else’s prescriptions. This is for me!”

(I am standing at the front desk of our hotel, getting maintenance reports from the night before, when a lady comes up to the desk, walks right up to me, and says:)

Lady: “I thought this was a no-pet hotel?”

(I am a little shocked because she is maybe a foot away from my face. I back up a couple steps.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we are a pet-free hotel.”

(She raises her eyebrows, and cocks her head.)

Lady: “Then why did I just see a f****** dog on my floor?!”

(After asking her what room she’s in, I realize she is three doors down from a frequent guest who is in a wheelchair and has a service dog. The front desk agent and I tell her it’s a service animal. The lady goes off on us that she and her whole group are allergic to dogs and they came to this hotel because we do not allow pets in our hotel. We explain that we cannot deny service animals. There is a little crowd forming in the lobby… including the fourteen-year-old daughter of the guest with the service dog. Trying to end this quickly and quietly, we offer to move the lady rooms, but she refuses and demands that the guest with the dog be thrown out of the hotel for violating the no-pet policy. The daughter walks up to her.)

Daughter: “Excuse me. I’m sorry my dad’s service dog is upsetting you. He lets us know when my dad is starting to have a seizure so we can help him through it. I wish we could change rooms, but we need it because it’s wheelchair accessible.”

(Another guest listening to what’s going on let out a long “Wooooooowwwww” from behind the angry lady. She turned beet red, turned, and walked away. The front desk agent and I talked to the daughter and apologized and hoped she wasn’t angry. The daughter told us it was no problem. The front desk agent and I both told her we wished we could have told the lady off like that.)

This story is part of our Service Animals roundup!

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(I work at a popular non-profit tourist attraction in NYC. All of our admission is by donation, so we make sure that we have as many ways to collect donations as possible. The following happens to me several times every day as I sit at the visitor services desk.)

Me: “Welcome to [Tourist Attraction]! All admission is by donation. Donations can be made with me by cash, credit, or [voucher], on your way inside at the cash box, or at any of the credit card machines throughout.”

Guest: “Okay. So, where should we make the donation?”

(I work at a huge pet retail store that also includes grooming services. As such with a big chain company, there are a lot of policies we have to follow in order to have a safe environment for us and the pets. Some customers don’t like being turned away from grooming due to policies even though it’s in the best interest of the pet. Here is an account of a lady who has had a history of fighting with us on taking her dog. Her dog is older, maybe 10 or older, and constantly has open sores on its legs and paw pads. Per policy, we can’t take a dog with an open wound, as it could become infected in the bath, become irritated during the groom, etc. The last time she was turned away was in December and she threw a huge fit, openly bawling and stating that “we don’t care about her dog.” Since then, she has come in twice, and both times the dog’s sores were healed enough that we could perform the service. She then comes in yesterday for a groom. One of our senior groomers looks over the dog and notices no open sores, so we take him in. About an hour later, the groomer is shaving the dog down and notices a sore that was hidden under all of the fur, and it is open. We call the lady, who screams at us over the phone, and we all prepare for the s*** storm we are about to endure. When she comes in, we all go quiet, waiting for her to blow up on us. She doesn’t say anything until she gets her dog back and it begins.)

Customer: “You know, this just isn’t fair. You have groomed him before!”

Manager: “Ma’am, he has an open wound, and I deeply apologize for not seeing it at check-in, but we can’t continue the groom today for his best safety.”

(As a courtesy, the groomer doing the dog went ahead and did the cut before the owner got there. The only things that weren’t done were the bath, the feet — where the open wound was — and the final touch-up.)

Customer: “The feet aren’t even done! I’M NOT PAYING FOR THIS!”

Manager: “No, ma’am, we aren’t making you pay for this, as we apologize—“

Customer: “THIS JUST ISN’T FAIR! HE HAS LICKING SYNDROME!”

(That’s not a thing.)

Customer: “I’M GOING TO WRITE THIS ALL OVER YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA!”

Manager: “Please, then, don’t leave out the entire story.”

Customer: *yelling inaudibly as she walks out of the store carrying her dog by the head*