Not The Brightest Idea

, , , | Right | September 16, 2010

Customer: “Can you turn this light off?” *points to the light hanging over the table*

Me: “I’m sorry, but all the lights are connected. I can take the bulb out, but I would need to get a towel because it’s hot.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I return under a minute later with a towel to see the light off.)

Customer: “I took care of it.”

(After clearing the table, I saw that she’d broken the bulb and put the glass pieces in her salad.)

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Not Exactly Gifted, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | September 16, 2010

(A twelve-year-old boy comes up to the counter holding a gift card.)

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: “As much or as little as you want on it.”

Customer: “But what does it do?”

Me: “You give it to people as gifts. It has money on it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “Like I said, as much or as little as you want.”

Customer: “Can I get $10?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I ring up the gift card.)

Me: “That’ll be $10.”

(He hands me $1.35.)

Me: “This isn’t enough. I need $10.”

Customer: “I only have that.”

Me: “Then you can’t get the gift card.”

Customer: “But, you said I could do any amount!”


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

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Noah’s Nondescript Ark

, , , , | Right | September 15, 2010

Customer: “So, uh, on this tour, will I, uh, feed the… uh… tall things, and uh, the not as tall… things?”

Me: “You mean the giraffes… and rhinos?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it! It’s like you’re reading my mind!”


This story is part of our Clueless Zoo Customers roundup!

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Read the Clueless Zoo Customers roundup!

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Why Can’t We All Just Get Oolong

, , , | Right | September 15, 2010

Customer: “What is the difference between chai tea and Tai Chi?”

Me: *jokingly* “Well, one is a spiced black tea, and the other is a can of whoop-a**.”

Customer: “I think I’ll have the black tea.”

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No Sting In This Tale

, , , | Right | September 14, 2010

(Note: we sell fake jelly fish as tank decorations.)

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: “I want some jelly fish, but I need you to answer some questions first.”

Me: “Of course. Go for it.”

Customer: “How do I keep them alive in this plastic packaging?”

Me: “They aren’t alive.”

Customer: “So why are you trying to sell them?!”

Me: “They’re decorations. They’re made of plastic.”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know this?”

Me: “They are plastic, have a string attached to them, have a sign that says ‘plastic jelly fish’, and they say ‘made in china’ on them.”

Customer: *pause* “I’ll just take one of those castle decorations…”

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