Making You Boiling Mad  

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2020

(Due to a water boil notice, my 24-hour restaurant is unable to serve water, coffee, tea, or soda. We get cases of bottled water, but we’re one of few open restaurants and our remaining drinks are going quickly. On Saturday night, we run out of everything except milk, and I tell every incoming table “all we have to drink is milk” and wait until they verbally confirm this is okay before I seat them. Servers reported these conversations with their tables.)

Server: “So, as the host told you, all we have today is milk. Can I start you with some milk?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, we’ll take four milks and a water.”

Server: “Right, we don’t have any water. Four milks, then?”

Customer #1: “You don’t have water?”

Server: “Unfortunately, all we have to drink is milk today, so can I get you some milk?”

Customer #2: “We’ll take four waters.”

Server: *pause* “Unfortunately, all we have to drink today is milk. Can I get you some milk?

Customer #2: “Oh, then I’ll take a diet Coke.”

Server: “Sir, all I can offer you is milk. Would you like milk?”

Customer #2: “All you have is milk?”

(There are five glasses of milk on this customer’s table.)

Customer #3: “I’d like coffee.”

Server: “All we have is milk, unfortunately.”

Customer #3: *argues for several minutes about wanting other drinks, mostly coffee*

Server: *finally leaves table*

Customer #3: *immediately turning to me at the host stand* “Excuse me, do you have coffee?”

Me: “Dude, we don’t have anything. All we have is milk.”

Customer #3: *makes a face as though I’m being horribly rude for no reason*

Customer’s Friend: “Dude, they told you five times they’re out of drinks.”

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As Bad As Retail Is…  

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2020

(I’m still a rather new cashier and trying to balance an efficient checkout with the required social niceties and store greeting cause me to run on autopilot while checking out customers. Sometimes I do not fully process what customers are telling me when it’s just small-talk and I’m also naturally a little oblivious sometimes, which can either be a good thing or a bad thing. This is speedy checkout, but the customer and I have still managed to fit in a conversation. As I am already one of the fastest cashiers, I get lots of comments on this from customers.)

Me: “[Company required greeting].”

Customer: “D***, working hard for that money, huh?”

Me: “I try! It’s too bad money doesn’t just appear in my account.”

Customer: “Well, I’d be willing to give you some money for… doing some things for me.”

Me: “Ha, well, if they were easy jobs, that might not be a bad deal.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t think they’d be too bad, if I do say so myself.”

Me: “So, that’s [total]. Thanks for shopping with us and you have a good day!”

Customer: *pays and as he’s walking away* “Anyway, you just think about my offer!”

Me: *internally, finally processing and still smiling but shuddering* “Why the f*** did he just solicit me for sex like that was acceptable small-talk?!”

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Unfiltered Story #183285

, , | Unfiltered | January 20, 2020

(My register goes down. It takez a moment to get my line to move over so my coworker can ring them up… all but one customer:)

Me: “I’m really sorry but it’s going to take a while for my register to reboot.”

Customer: *politely* “No, no I don’t wanna carry my stuff over to the other register.”

(Eventually, I convince her to move over. Then she starts putting her groceries on the table where my coworker is bagging.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, you can’t put your groceries where I’m bagging.”

Customer: *storms back over, slams her groceries onto the conveyor belt and screams* FINE! I DON’T WANT THIS ANYMORE! (Storms out)

Unfiltered Story #183283

, | Unfiltered | January 20, 2020

This story is about my mother.

I was shopping with my mother in a superstore. I had tagged along because I wanted to go to Old Navy and she wanted to use her car which meant I couldn’t borrow it.

We’re checking out and she tries to use a gift card. The gift card was supposed to have $25 on it and she thought it was going to pay for almost all of what she had bought.

Spoiler: it didn’t.

She then blames the cashier for her gift card not having as much as she thought on it and claims that it had more.

We go back out to the car and I check on my phone the balance on her card using the gift card manufactures website. I tell her that she probably just forgot she had spent it. She claimed she hadn’t spent it and that the store had scammed her out of her $25. The balance was $0 just like the cashier had said. It also said she had spent $18 of the gift card at another store earlier in the week.

Talking Turkey About The Cheese

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2020

Customer: “I want three-quarters of a pound of turkey.”

Me: “Okay, which turkey? We have a lot of them.”

Customer: “Three-quarters of a pound of turkey.”

Me: “Ma’am, what kind of turkey are you looking for? We have [Brand #1] and [Brand #2].”

Customer: “I don’t know! Any turkey!”

Me: “Okay, so, better quality, then? What kind?”

Customer: “I don’t know! Honey mustard?!”

Me: “We have honey maple.”

Customer: “Yeah, sure, that one.”

(We go on to her next item.)

Customer: “Half of a pound of baby swiss.”

Me: *internally* “Okay, so you knew the f****** name of your cheese, but not of your turkey?”

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