Another Case Of Wifitis, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I have to go out of town for a week and decided to travel by bus. I spend a few extra dollars to get a seat with a table on the lower level so that I can get some work done on the ride. An older woman sits down across from me, and for the first thirty minutes or so, we have some pleasant conversation. She asks me if I’ve ever had any trouble with this bus company before, to which I say no. She also shares some dried fruit snacks with me while we talk, which I happily accept. After the conversation comes to a natural stop, I pull out my laptop to write some emails using the bus’s onboard Wi-Fi. The Wi-Fi, however, appears to not be working.

Me: *Out loud* “Huh, that’s odd. The Wi-Fi on this bus doesn’t seem to be working.”

Woman:What?! That’s ridiculous. It’s supposed to work! What’s even the point…”

I look at her kind of blankly, surprised by the outburst. It should be noted that she doesn’t appear to have any need for Wi-Fi since all she has with her is her phone — which she hasn’t touched once — her purse, and a book that she’s been reading.

Me: “Well, it’s not a huge issue. I have other stuff I can work on that doesn’t require Wi—”

Woman: *Cutting me off* “This is outrageous. I’m going to talk to the driver.”

She gets up and walks past the line on the ground where you’re not supposed to walk and starts talking to the driver. I don’t hear much except her frustrated tone of voice. She returns, sits back down across from me, and proceeds to call customer service for [Bus Company].

Woman: “I’m on the [time] bus from [Location #1] to [Location #2], and the Wi-Fi isn’t working and the driver won’t do anything about it. This is outrageous! I paid [price] for this ticket and I expect all of the amenities to be functional.” *Slowly and quietly into the receiver* “You. Are. A. Terrible. Company.”

She hangs up, looking frustrated. I’ve been working on my laptop during this exchange, feeling rather uncomfortable, and trying to ignore her. She then returns to her book and pulls out the dried fruit again.

Woman: “Do you want a piece?”

Me: “No, thanks. I’m not hungry.”

Why this woman decided to make a big stink about a service she wasn’t even using, I will never know.

Another Case Of Wifitis

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Not Homeless But Humorless

, , | Right | February 24, 2021

Our restaurant isn’t fancy per se, but the food is high-quality and on the expensive side. I am serving a man in a nice suit. He is probably about sixty years old.

Me: “Hello, how is everything today?”

Customer: “It’s all right. How much does this job pay?”

I’m kind of confused by the question but I answer honestly.

Customer: “Because I’m homeless.”

He gestures to the food on the table that he clearly got from the restaurant that he’s eating at.

Customer: “Yeah, I got this food from the trash, and I was looking for a job.”

I stare at his clearly expensive suit.

Me: “Uh-huh.” 

Customer: “Aww, I’m just kiddin’ ya. You young folks are so gullible these days, you’ll believe anything I say.”

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The Brains Are Out The Window

, , , , , | Learning | February 24, 2021

I have diabetes and have to take insulin. In high school, I have to stop by the nurse’s office in order to take it, since all medicine must be stored there. We all call the nurse’s office “the clinic.”

One day, I have to stop by the clinic for insulin just before history class, but I know it won’t take long. The history teacher is known to be cool, and since I’m a good student, I know he will be fine with me being a couple of minutes late. I ask my best friend to tell the teacher that I’m in the clinic when she gets to class. 

Friend: “[My Name] is in the clinic.”

Teacher: *Staring* “The dog barks at midnight.”

Friend: “No, [My Name] is in the clinic.”

Teacher: *Eyes narrowing* “The crow flies in from the north.”

Friend: “Mr. [Teacher], you’re not listening! [MY NAME]. IS IN. THE CLINIC!”

Teacher: “The ship has arrived in the harbor?”

Friend: “My friend, [My Full Name], is currently in the clinic with the nurse so that she can take some insulin! She is going to be a couple of minutes late and asked me to tell you! She’s fine; it’s that just someone brought cupcakes in English and now she has to take insulin because she ate one!”

Teacher:Oh! I thought you were speaking in code! We are going over espionage in World War II today, and I thought you were just trying to really feel the subject material! I never submit the attendance until the end of class, anyway, so she’s fine. Thanks for telling me!”

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The Fast Food Place Is Just A Bunny Hop Away

, , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I work at a restaurant that is pet-friendly. That usually means that during the summer people bring their dogs. I’ve even seen a few people bring cats. Near the end of my shift, a lady calls me over.

Customer: “Hello. I need to go stand in line over there for a little while. Would you mind watching my bunny?”

Me: “Sure.”

The bunny was in a carrier on a table. I have no idea why I would need to watch it because there is no way that it would even be able to go anywhere. I made sure to keep an eye on the rabbit, but ten minutes later, my shift was over and the lady was still in line.

I ended up staying a few extra minutes to watch the animal. But seriously, who decides to go get some fried food and thinks, “Hmm, you know, I’ll think I’ll bring my bunny. Yeah, that makes sense!”?

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Can’t Quit Wrap Your Tentacles Around This One

, , , | Right | February 23, 2021

A couple comes in, I seat them and answer a few questions, and they order. I manage to check on them once or twice during their meal and they seem very happy with their order.

When they come up to pay, the lady is very upset.

Customer: “I’m not going to pay for my food because I didn’t touch it!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that, ma’am, seeing as you’ve eaten at least half of it. Why weren’t you happy with it?

Customer: “The seafood chowder had octopus in it! I’m allergic!”

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