When They Realize They Need You More Than You Need Them

, , , | Right | July 23, 2021

The comic book store I work at does trade-ins for cash and makes a lot of money reselling vintage and hard-to-find comics. If it is a trade-in under $500, we are allowed to do it without the owner’s permission. A middle-aged man comes into the store with a long box full of comics, announcing he wants to make a trade-in.

Customer: “I have a lot of older Marvel and DC issues in here, gonna make a killing off of this. Probably be able to pay off my car with what is in here!”

Me: “That would be great, wouldn’t it? All right, if you want to leave this here, I can appraise everything and get you an offer in a few hours.”

The customer agrees and leaves. I let my coworker take over and start looking at what he brought in. His “older” comics are all X-Men, Spider-Man, and Superman issues… from the 1990s. These are virtually worthless. There are over 200 issues, and after pricing them all between a dime and a dollar each, his total comes up to maybe $50. When he comes back in, I have the printout of the value of the comics waiting for him.

Customer: “Well, little lady, how much am I going to be walking out with today?”

Me: “Well… not a lot, unfortunately. Here’s the breakdown of the current value of your comics.”

I hand him the list. His face gets red, and for a moment, I think he is going to either have a heart attack or come over the counter at me.

Customer: “These are mint condition. Mint! You priced these wrong!”

Me: “Sir, that is the value of the comics in mint condition. They’re not worth a lot. Most late 1980s to early 2000s comics are massively devalued.”

Customer: “But these are complete sets!”

Me: “Again, that doesn’t make them worth any more. The issues themselves just aren’t worth anything. I can show you if you want?”

He silently nods, and I turn my monitor around and pull up a few titles so he can see they truly are only worth a dime.

Customer: “Refresh it. That has to be old information.”

Me: “I can do that, but I don’t expect it to change.”

I refresh the page and nothing changes — still the same price.

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry. That is the price we can offer you for the whole box. I can pay you out in cash or a store gift certificate if you want.”

Customer: “I need at least two hundred more. Fifty won’t cut it.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t do that. Unless you have more comics to trade in that aren’t from the nineties?”

Customer: “Little lady, you don’t understand how good customer service works. It’s 250 or nothing.”

Me: “Then nothing it is. I can’t give you five times what these are worth and expect to keep my job. Have a good day.”

I passed the long box back to him, while he sputtered and tried to find a way to recover from his failed attempt at haggling. Giving up, he took his worthless comics and left.

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​​STOP And Think About This For A Moment

, , , , | Right | July 23, 2021

I work as a licensed insurance agent for an agency that exclusively represents one of the largest insurance companies in the country. One day, I received a call from a client who needed to submit a claim on his automobile insurance. I got him successfully transferred to the claims department to get this done. Ten minutes later, my phone rings again.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Agency] of [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Customer]. You helped me get my claim submitted earlier?”

Me: “Yes, [Customer], what can I do for you now?”

Customer: “The claims department from [Company] sent me a text with my claim number in it. At the end of the text, it says to reply with the word ‘STOP’ if I don’t want to continue to receive texts. What is this?”

Me: “That just means that if you want to keep receiving texts about your claim, then don’t do anything. But if you don’t want to be bothered with the texts, then reply with the word ‘STOP.’”

Customer: “Okay, but am I continuing to receive this text now? I don’t want that.”

Me: “I’m not sure I understand, sir.”

Customer: “Is this text continuing to come to me if I don’t send the word ‘STOP’? I don’t want to use that much data. I don’t want to be charged for that.”

Me: *Head on desk* “No, no, sir. That isn’t happening. That text has ended.”

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The Trip Between The Brain And The Mouth Is Short But You Can Still Get Lost

, , , | Working | July 23, 2021

I have a coworker who has a completely different conversation in her head than what actually happens. As a result, they always walk away feeling like the conversation went exactly as she thought it would go. However, it really never does because she cannot be forward with people to save her life. Unfortunately, she then conveys the conversation to our boss based on her conversation with herself.

Two things to note: 1) I recently bought a house on the edge of town. 2) We have a new intern who lives in the middle of town, does not drive, and is Asian.

Coworker: “I don’t know exactly where you live. How long does it take you to get to work?”

This is a lie, by the way, because she went into my personnel file to snoop and told another coworker about it.

Me: “Oh, not much longer now that I can go around town rather than through it. Actually, it takes less time despite living seven miles further east.”

Coworker: “And how do you drive?”

Me: “I just take [Highway].”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “It is the highway for going to [Major Mountain]?”

Coworker: “Jesus. That doesn’t seem right. You don’t go down [Major Street on the west side]?”

Me: *Confused* “No?”

Coworker: “So, you don’t go down [Major Street]?”

Me: “No. I mean I pass it on [Highway] to get to work, but that is it.”

Coworker: *Annoyed* “Well, anyway, [New Intern] is going to be working with us. They are like [Coworker #2] and don’t drive.”

She tried to get me to drive [Coworker #2] to work but I refused unless they paid for my insurance in addition to company insurance, the difference in gas mileage, and travel time. They were also paying [Coworker #2] $3 extra dollars an hour for transportation so I didn’t feel really inclined to do it.

Me: “Well, that isn’t too bad. They live a whole lot closer than [Coworker #2].”

Coworker: “I would hate for [New Intern] to take the bus because of all the hate crimes. And I don’t want to have to pay for a [Ride Share Service] all the time.”

Me: “…”

Coworker: “I am just not sure what to do.”

Me: “I am sure you will figure it out!”

Of course, she took that conversation to mean that I would go fifteen minutes out of my way to drive this intern and told the boss this. I had to remind them that I did not feel comfortable carpooling as official company business without them paying for insurance, wear and tear on my car, and time going out of my way. Once more, they shut up about it, only after having egg on their face because they had to rescind the offer she shouldn’t have made in the first place.

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It’s Drive THROUGH, Not Drive STOP

, , , | Right | July 23, 2021

It’s a very busy lunch rush and I am taking a customer’s order over the drive-thru headset when he asks for a type of burger that has several different variations. He seems confused, so I explain the differences to him.

Customer: “Hold on. It’s not for me; it’s for someone else. Let me call them and check.”

This isn’t unusual, and it’s better than the customer calling later and accusing us of giving them the wrong burger. He spends so long on the phone, however, that I end up moving from order taker to cashier, handling the customers at the window instead, and another crew person finishes taking the order for me.

Finally, the customer gets to the pass-out window and hands me his card, and I notice he has his phone to his ear. We are required to read back the order at the window to confirm it is correct; however, as soon as I start speaking, the customer holds up his finger, shushes me, and rolls up his window. This means I am unable to confirm the order, give him his drinks, see if he wants a drink carrier, or ask if he needs additional condiments.

Aside from being rude, this slows us down, because we would be getting all this stuff ready while his order was being bagged. I run his card, but because his window is up, I’m not able to hand it back so I set it in front of my register with his receipt. His order comes up not too long after that and I start trying to flag him down and get him to roll his window down, so we can get his order to him.

He looks at me, makes eye contact, and then looks away. I’ve got other orders coming up and I’m pretty annoyed with this guy at this point. I hold up his bag and start waiving energetically. I’m seconds from leaning over and knocking on his window. Finally, he puts his phone down.

Customer: “Sorry about that. I was on an important phone call.”

If it was that important, he could have pulled around in front instead of holding up the drive-thru and wasting time on the lunch breaks of the people behind him. I give him his card back and try to get him his drinks and food handed out as quickly as possible to get the line moving again. At this point, we have all the food and drinks up for the next six cars. That’s all we can fit from the speaker to the window; we can’t take another order until this guy moves.

I hand the customer his bag of food.

Customer: “I just need to check and make sure you got this right.”

My manager, the other cashier, and I just stared in disbelief for a few seconds as this guy, who had already held up the drive-thru for nearly ten minutes, proceeded to pull out each and every sandwich and open and check them all, before I closed the window, walked away to get cookies, and started adding them to all the other car’s bags as a preemptive apology for the wait this guy had caused. 

Apparently, he was satisfied, because he FINALLY drove away. The cars directly behind him were pretty understanding. They could see me trying to give him food for a while and see him sitting there after getting it, but I did have to explain to the cars behind that they were held up because someone decided the drive-thru window was the place to take an “important” phone call.

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These Are Tense Times… Very Tense

, , , , , , , | Working | July 23, 2021

I’m a security guard in my office with the door closed. As is standard for this sort of job, there are windows all around, so anyone can see in and I can see out. I’ve just had a new employee show up and she is currently waiting in the hallway outside of my office for her supervisor to show up and show her around. We’re both wearing masks, as is required here due to the ongoing health crisis.

Well, I end up sneezing and I sneeze LOUD. I do cover it in my arm and all that, and I go to clean up with sanitizer out of habit. The next thing I know, the new employee has burst through the door into my office and started shrieking at me about how I’m going to give her “the rona”. I’m pretty dumbfounded by this and just sit there and stare at her while she’s basically throwing a tantrum, yelling things like how dare I put her at risk (by sneezing in a closed room well away from her whilst wearing a mask) and how she’s going to get me fired for endangering people. 

Karma happens then, as her supervisor finally shows up shortly after and apparently watches for a bit. Once she has seen enough, the supervisor approaches.

Supervisor: “Excuse me. Are you [Employee]?”

Employee: “Yeah!”

Supervisor: “And today’s your first day?”

Employee: “Uh-huh!”

Supervisor: “Wrong. I’m going to go file the termination paperwork in a little bit. Right now I’m seeing that you’re off the property immediately!

And just like that, she was marched off the grounds. I’m glad that we didn’t have to deal with that particular bit of crazy for long. I can’t imagine how bad things would have been if she had exploded at someone like that on the factory floor.

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