Littered With Hints About His Litter

, , , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I am working alone and a family with small children walks in. The children start running around, messing with the displays and trying to go behind the counter, while both parents ignore them and order. I am trying to both control the children and take the order at the same time. I am very much an animal person, but not so much a children person.)

Father: “Children are amazing, but they do take a lot of patience, huh?”

Me: *frustrated but still smiling* “I am actually not planning on have children. My dog is my baby!”

Father: “Yes, but you have to be patient with children.”

Me: “And that’s why I love my dog!”

(He was fuming, but his wife got the hint and quickly gained control of their three young kids. Thank you, kind woman!)

Sick Of Your Compliments

, , , , , | Romantic | February 17, 2018

(My husband has been sick with a fever for a few days, and I have spent the weekend taking care of him. On the second morning, I feel his forehead.)

Me: *encouragingly* “You’re not as hot as you were yesterday!”

Husband: “Give me a break! Lots of people aren’t as attractive when they’re sick.”

(Nothing wrong with his sense of humor!)

The 1950s Called; They Want Their Misogynist Back

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I work at an amusement park. I am working at a pitching game when a guest comes up to me. I wear skirts to work, as I find them more comfortable.)

Me: “Hi, sir. How are you today?”

Guest: “So, they put you at this game because you are a girl, and guys will play it just to show off.”

Me: “…”

Guest: “It’s not like you know anything about baseball.”

Me: “Actually, my brother plays baseball, and I’ve been watching his games for the past 13 years.”

Guest: “But you’re a girl. How much do you really know about sports? Not like you play them, or anything. After all, you likely only learned to cook, clean, and take care of a house.”

Me: *blank stare*

Guest: “What? Girls who wear skirts to work are always super religious and traditional.”

“Lovely” Left For Lunch, Link Up Later

, , , , , , | Working | February 17, 2018

(I am essentially the backup receptionist at my office, meaning that I take my work down to the reception desk and answer the company phone when the regular receptionist takes her lunch. Today, I get a rather interesting phone call. According to caller ID, the caller is a regular customer.)

Me: *picking up the phone* “Good afternoon, this is [Company].”

Caller: “Hello, lovely! How are you today?”

Me: *incredibly weirded out* “Um… Good. How are you?”

Caller: “Oh! Wrong lovely! Can you transfer me to [Coworker], please?”

Me: “Sure.”

Caller: “Not that you’re not lovely! I just… I should stop talking now.”

Me: *laughs* “One moment.” *I transfer him*

(I asked the receptionist later, and she said that that customer usually addresses her as “lovely.”)

The Fishy Customers Are The Most Interesting

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I’m finishing ringing up a customer and what appears to be his grandson.)

Me: *giving them their order* “Enjoy your movie!”

Customer: “Want to see something cool?”

Me: *curious* “Um… Okay.”

Customer: *holds up a picture on his cell phone of himself holding what looks like a very large fish* “I caught that myself, back in the creek over there!”

Me: *not knowing what to say* “Oh. Nice!”

Customer: “He took the picture!” *gesturing to his grandson*

Me: “Good job!”

(They took their order and left. I’m still slightly confused as to why he would want to show me that. It made for an interesting story, though!)

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