Looks Like They Already Had Their Drugs

, , , | Healthy | April 19, 2018

(I have just started my first job at a local pharmacy and convenience store, and it is my third day of training. I am standing behind the counter with an older coworker of mine. We hear the door open, and look over.)

Customer: *quickly walks through the doors and to the other end of the floor, where the pharmacy is*

Me: *looking at my coworker* “Was she…”

Coworker: *taking a sip of an energy drink* “…not wearing any pants? Welcome to the job, kid.”

Me: “…”

Not A Very Powerful Scam

, , | Working | April 19, 2018

(I’m working the front desk at a tire and repair shop when I get a call from an anonymous phone number. This happens fairly frequently, so I think nothing of it and answer.)

Caller: *in a thick accent* “Hello, I am calling to verify that you are aware that [Power Company #1] will be turning off your power in 45 minutes.”

Me: *uncertainly* “Uh-huh.”

Caller: “Please call this 800-number and enter this verification code to reach the customer service hotline.”

(I Google the number, and the first result is the 800-number followed by a string of Chinese characters. I promptly hang up. Later:)

Me: “Hey, [Boss], who do we get power from?”

Boss: “I’m pretty sure it’s from [Power Company #2].”

Me: “So, I guess the call I just got from [Power Company #1] saying they were going to shut off our power was a scam?”

(We had a laugh over that one.)

Some People Can Be Real Email Name Nazis

, , , , | Right | April 19, 2018

(I’m the customer in this scenario. I’m around 16, shopping in an alternative-clothing store. The staff are all people with various tattoos, piercings, and dyed hair. The cashier is clearly gay, is wearing all black, and has a nose piercing. My hair is short, and I’m wearing a band shirt, skinny jeans, and combat boots.)

Cashier: “Would you like to sign up with our rewards program? You get coupons and all kinds of deals year-round.”

Me: “Sure, why not?”

Cashier: “Okay, can I have your email?”

(Note, my last name is my email.)

Me: *tells him my email*

Cashier: *looking very scared all of a sudden and stepping away from the register* “N-nazi?”

(The last four letters of my last name are N-A-Z-I.)

Me: *realizing he thinks I’m a white supremacist* “Oh, no, I’m Jewish and that’s my last name.”

Cashier: “Oh!” *starts chuckling nervously*

Me: *laughing* “And if it wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be shopping here!”

Cashier: “Oh, yeah, fair point!”

This Is The New Way To Act Presidential

, , , , | Working | April 19, 2018

(I am meeting with the leader of a volunteer organization for my son’s school to interview for the treasurer position. As we are talking, conversation gets around to where I work, and I mention I work for [Fast Food Restaurant]. When I say this, the club president gets an annoyed look on his face.)

Club President: “You don’t work for [Fast Food Restaurant] in [Town #1], do you?”

Me: “No, I work for the one in [Town #2].”

(He looks relieved and goes on to tell me about his last visit to [Fast Food Restaurant] in [Town #1].)

Club President: “Oh, good. Those people who work there are useless. They are so stupid. I went there a few weeks ago at like two in the morning and they had their drive-thru all blocked off.”

(I used to work for this store, which is a 24-hour restaurant; however, they do have to close for about four hours every three months to have their exhaust hoods serviced. Since the hood cleaners need to have their truck close to the store and the roof access, the drive-thru is blocked off with large caution cones, and a brave employee will generally park their car at the entrance of the drive-thru to prevent someone running over the cones and entering the drive-thru, anyway. Signs are posted on the doors, the drive-thru window, and the drive-thru speaker, letting guests know about this. I am about to explain this when he continues.)

Club President: “Yeah, they had cones and a car right there so no one could get in, so I had to drive my truck over the curb.”

(I am pretty surprised at this. While he has a large truck that could easily do this, in all my years at that store I had never heard of someone seeing the cones AND a vehicle blocking the drive-thru and deciding to jump the curb, instead of trying to come inside to see what is wrong.)

Club President: “I get to the speaker and no one answers. I’m sitting there for ten minutes and no one is answering. I can’t leave because there is this truck just parked in the drive-thru, not moving, and there were a bunch of cars behind me that went over the curb when I did, so I can’t get out. I finally manage to get out, and I go to the door, and it’s locked. There is this little midget inside, and she won’t open the door for me.”

(I know the employee he’s talking about, and while dwarfism does run on one side of her family, it is considered very insulting to call a little person a midget. The club president is a VERY large man, and I could totally see a small young woman not wanting to open the door for a very angry man who is at least six times her size.)

Club President: “So I walk around to the drive-thru window, and finally the midget opens it for me, I ask her why the hell the drive-thru is blocked, and why the doors are locked. She gives me this annoyed look like I’m stupid and says, ‘Umm, because we are closed.’ I ask her if I could order now, since I am there, and she won’t even take my order! How useless is she? I’m glad you don’t work for those losers. I won’t go there ever again, if they don’t even know how to run a business!”

(He changed the subject after that, and I didn’t try to correct him. I didn’t want to cause a personality conflict when I was just trying to help my son’s school. He turned out not to be bad to work with, aside from trying to make me change my voicemail message on my personal cell phone, because it was inappropriate — it was an iconic character from a fast food chain saying I was his wing-man. The club president and his wife did a lot of wonderful things for my son’s school.)

Needs A Profane Amount Of Restroom Breaks

, , , , , | Right | April 19, 2018

(At our restaurant, which closes at 4:00 am and opens again at 10:00 am, the bathrooms close at midnight. They open again for neither love nor money, so at 2:00 am, I’m cleaning one of them.)

Random Dude: *kind of angrily* “Yo, can I use the restroom?”

Me: “Restrooms are closed. There’s a public restroom at the end of this building; it’s around the corner, on the left.”

(The guy mumbles something I can’t understand about his friend and the public restrooms, to the eventual effect of, “I don’t want to use those.”)

Me: “Restrooms are closed.”

Random Dude: “When do they open?”

Me: “10:00 am.”

Random Dude: *suddenly shouting* “Well, f*** you, too, b****!”

(I shrug and finish cleaning up the bathroom, and then come back behind the counter.)

Random Dude: *in the middle of talking to one of the managers* “That’s him! That’s the guy! He said, ‘F*** you! Restrooms are closed!’”

Me: “Sir, I did not use such language.”

(I continue to the back to put up the cleaning supplies, and when I return to the kitchen…)

Manager #1: “Did you really say that?

Me: “No, I did not.” *I relay the exchange* “—and then he started screaming profanities at me.”

Manager #2: “Yeah, I didn’t give him anything. I gave him the number to the franchising office, told him we were store number [other location’s number], and said your name was [Not My Name].”

(I nodded and continued with my shift.)

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