My wife and I were long-distance while dating, and between my last visit and when I moved in, she adopted a cat. The cat was so skittish she hid from nearly everything. She hid during thunderstorms, fireworks, plastic bags being opened, and visitors coming over, and only barely allowed my wife to sometimes pet her.

Me: “When did you know you wanted to marry me?”

Wife: “The day after you moved in.”

Me: *Laughing* “Why, because I cleaned your entire apartment while you were at work and had dinner ready when you got home?”

Wife: “Nah, it was [Skittish Cat]. She wasn’t hiding like I thought she’d be with a new person in the house; she was on your lap! You were even petting her and she was just purring away, happy as could be. You looked up, smiled, and said, ‘I thought you said she was skittish!’ That was when I knew. If you could win over [Skittish Cat] that fast, you were someone I needed to be with.”

Me: “And because you like my meatloaf.”

Wife: “And because I love your meatloaf.”

This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!

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We sell guns and self-defense supplies, but not “recreational” weapons like airsoft or paintball. Some people don’t understand the difference. On this day, two women carrying an old rifle case come in.

Coworker: “Hey, how can I help you today?”

Woman #1: “We’d like an appraisal on this antique rifle! Found it in Grandpa’s shed.”

Coworker: “We can’t do an official appraisal but I can take a look and tell you where to get more info on it.”

They lay it on the counter and open up the case. My coworker glances at it for a second.

Coworker: “Uh, ma’am, this isn’t a rifle and I doubt it’s antique. This is a BB gun, from the 1970s, it looks like. We really can’t help you here.”

Woman #1: “This is an antique! It was Grandpa’s! It’s a real d*** gun just like those behind you!”

Woman #2: “If this isn’t a real gun, then how’d he shoot squirrels with it, huh? You can’t kill anything with a toy gun!”

Woman #1: “This is bulls***! There’s the same exact gun behind you! You’re discriminating!”

She’s pointing to an antique 1860s Civil War rifle that has no more resemblance to hers than any other rifle would.

Coworker: “I’m sure it’s great for, uh, squirrels, but we’re more of a bear-size store? We don’t even carry the ammo for those things.”

For some reason, this quiets [Woman #1] right down and she packs it back up.

Woman #1: “Aw, well, I guess if you don’t have the ammo, there’s no sense in it. We’ll go try somewhere else!”

They both left, though [Woman #2] was still muttering about squirrels.

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My two kids are adopted. I’m Caucasian; they’re Latino. When they are toddlers, I make friends with a Latina nanny in my town whose charge is a typical blonde-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian. 

We take the kids out to a museum and a store, with her pushing her charge in a stroller and me pushing my kids in a double stroller. The kids are all giggling and babbling while my friend and I stop to look at something in the store and a random woman comes by.

Woman: *Looking at my kids* “Oh, aren’t you two adorable.” *Turning to my friend* “Are they yours?”

Me: “No, they’re mine.”

The woman gets “Surprised Pikachu” face.

Friend: “This one’s mine.”

She points to the little boy she watches.

Woman: “But… how…?”

She just sort of wandered away, occasionally looking back at us with a perplexed face. I think we broke her.

We have breakfast meals that include a hashbrown and a small coffee but customers can substitute any drink for an additional charge. I am helping an elderly couple.

Woman: “So, what can we get to drink with the meals?”

Me: “They come with a small coffee, but you can get anything.”

The couple orders and then sits down. A few minutes later, the woman comes back with her receipt.

Woman: “I don’t care, I’ll pay for it this time, but why was I charged for this?”

Me: “It’s a drink upcharge. The drink you ordered costs more than a small coffee so we had to charge you for it.”

My manager comes over.

Woman: “You didn’t tell me that! I didn’t know!”

My manager points to the menu board which clearly states that some drinks have an additional charge.

Manager: “It says it right there, ma’am.”

Woman: *Points at me* “Well, I wouldn’t have gotten it if I’d known! You’d better learn next time!”

Related:
They’re All Upcharged Up

My boyfriend and I are customers. We are the only ones in line and there is one employee behind the counter. The popular “fresh eats” sandwich shop has two new wraps, so we each order one so we can try them both. My sandwich is steak and guacamole. This story starts after the steak and cheese comes out of the toaster.

Employee: “Any toppings?”

Me: “Doesn’t it come with guac?”

Employee: “It’s optional, so yeah, if you want it.”

Me: “Yes, please.”

I am already thinking this is strange.

Me: “And also [other toppings].”

The employee GLOBS on the guac next to everything and rolls my wrap up, rolling it towards the huge pile of guac he put on, squishing it everywhere

I should say something now, but I don’t think it is that bad, and since we are on break from work, we don’t have a lot of time, so we pay and leave.

We drive off and I open my wrap and there is guac ALL OVER everything, including the paper around it. I call my boss to tell her I will be back ASAP but my food is inedible. She says no worries, so we turn around. I am already in tears over this because I have some other things going on, so my boyfriend takes the sandwich to ask them to remake it. This time, someone else is there and there is a line.

Boyfriend: “Can you remake this? It’s a mess; she can’t eat this.”

Employee: “Well, yeah, you wanted guac. I cannot spread it with everything else on the wrap. It is optional; you said you wanted it.”

Me: *Finally speaking up* “Well, can you have him make it, then?”

I point to the other employee.

Employee: “Sure.”

I know I’ve pissed him off, since he goes into the back. He comes back and takes over cash for the other employee to send him to me. I know I made the right call as soon as he starts making my food.

Employee #2: “The steak and guac? Do you want the guac?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

[Employee #2] spread the guac on the wrap BEFORE any other toppings went on.

The second employee’s sandwich was much better. I’ve never had someone assume I DON’T want one of the items in the title of the sandwich and then blame me for the outcome.