A customer who looks to be no older than twenty-three or twenty-four walks in with three kids, all under the age of five.

Me: “Oh, wow! You’ve got quite a handful today!”

Customer: *Laughs* “They keep me on my toes, that’s for sure!”

We chat a little bit while I process her transaction.

Me: “…and there’s your receipt. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “Thanks! You, too!”

Me: *Waves to her kids* “Bye, you guys!”

My coworker asks me a question, so I turn around to answer her. When I turn back around, the customer and the youngest child are gone, but the two older ones, who are about four and two, are standing there.

Me: “What the… Hey, munchkin, where’s your mommy?”

They stare at me.

Me: “[Manager]! Did you see where my last customer went?”

Manager: “Out the door. Looks like her car is still there.”

Me: “Make sure they don’t go running into the street. I’ll be back.”

I sprint out the door and across the parking lot.

Me: “Ma’am! You forgot something!”

Customer: “Nope, I know they’re there. I told them to wait while I loaded up the baby.”

Me: “What?!”

Customer: “Well, you were right there, and you’re so nice, so I assumed it was fine.”

Me: “But you don’t know me.”

Customer: “You work here, so you’re okay. I just know.”

Me: “You don’t know me, though. It’s not safe to leave your kids—”

Customer: “But you work here!”

Me: *Facepalm*

Related:
Aisle Be Watching The Kids

I shop at the store across the street three or four times a week, usually for whatever I need for that day. Yesterday, I grabbed some hummus on sale and this altercation happened at the self-checkout:

Me: “This item isn’t ringing up properly. It’s not on sale like the tag says, so I’m just going to go over there to check the tag.”

Employee #1: “I can’t leave my post; you’ll need to do it yourself.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I’m just telling you that I’m going to head over there real quick—”

Employee #1: “I can’t leave my post; you need to do this yourself.”

I walk over to the display and check the price. It’s two for $6, but most people know this just means one for $3 unless stated otherwise. Like I said, I shop often so I’m very familiar with needing to have a price corrected or matched; it probably happens a few times a month. I have a feeling there will be another problem with this employee, so I take a picture of the tag and return to the self-checkout.

Me: “Yeah, the item isn’t scanning properly. Can you price-match it?”

Employee #1: *Annoyed* “What’s the issue?”

Me: “This is supposed to be $3, but it’s scanning as $4.49. I just need the price matched.”

I show her the photo.

Employee #1: “See, that’s two for $6. You need two to get the deal. If you buy another, it’ll be correct.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s two for $6, but that just means one is $3. Some tags only work if you buy the right amount, but this isn’t one—”

Employee #1: “You need two, understand? If you get another, it’ll adjust.”

Me: “I understand what the tag says, but I know this isn’t—”

Employee #1: *Slowly* “You… need… to… get… two… for… it… to… work.”

I look at her, take the hummus out of the bag, and scan it again. Sure enough, the price does not update because that’s not the issue.

Me: “Okay, but obviously, that’s not true, or else it would be correct now.”

Employee #1: “You… need…”

Me: “Can you just get someone else over here?”

Employee #1: “Sure.”

She proceeds to hunt down a specific employee, ignoring two others who were closer — one of whom is a manager I know from my time shopping there — and instead finds her friend who’s about to leave.

Employee #1: *To [Employee #2]* “Can you explain to this person what the issue is? They’re having problems understanding why their item isn’t scanning properly.”

Employee #2: “What’s the issue?”

I show her the photo.

Me: “I just need this price-matched. It isn’t scanning as the labelled price.”

Employee #2: “It’s because that tag is expired. I can still honor the price for you.”

She enters her code and changes the price without a problem.

Me: “She was being really rude.”

Employee #2: “I mean… I can get a manager if you want.”

Me: “I don’t care enough; I just want to leave.”

Employee #2: “Yeah, good… You probably shouldn’t get a manager.”

I’m still trying to figure out what she meant by that.

A mother comes over to my department with four kids ranging from a seven-year-old running around to a small toddler in the shopping cart seat. This woman is clearly just done with the day as she tries to pick out her purchases with the three smaller ones yammering in the cart and the eldest actually swatting at her in some attempt at a game or to get attention.

Me: “Long day?”

Mother: “I’m selling kids; you want one?”

Me: “Nope, sorry, I only do rentals, and when I return them, they’re hyped up on more sugar than they left on.”

Mother: “Ah, you must be an aunt.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, proudly so. Anything else today?”

Mother: “No, that’s it. I guess I’ll keep them. Have a good day.”

Me: “You, too, ma’am, may your night get better.”

It was short and silly, but we both left the conversation smiling, at least.

This story is part of our International Day Of Happiness roundup!

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My car is at the mechanic, and I am renting a vehicle from a well-known nationwide business.

Rental Agent: “…and you can also purchase our insurance in case the car is damaged while you’re renting it!”

Me: “No, thank you. I’ll only be driving to and from work, and I don’t anticipate having it longer than three days.”

Rental Agent: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, thanks.”

I drive the rental car for two days — true to my word, only to and from work, not more than forty miles all told — and then get my car back from the mechanic and return the rental car with a full tank of gas. The next day:

Rental Agent: “Hi, I need to know your insurance and your deductible.”

Me: “Why?”

Rental Agent: “Your rental car sustained damage while you had it, and since you didn’t purchase our insurance, you’re liable.”

Me: “Please describe the ‘damage.’”

Rental Agent: “Scratches and mud on the lower door panels.”

Me: “There was mud on the door panels because it rained for the two days I had the car. And I want photographic evidence of the alleged scratches.”

Rental Agent: “Um… the scratches were discovered by our Damage Agents; they are specially trained to notice damages that other people overlook.”

Me: “And how was I able to accrue scratches too small for anyone but your special Damage Agents to notice?”

Rental Agent: “Well, driving on roads…”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You want me to pay for alleged damage I can’t see, after renting me a car so fragile that it incurs damage by driving on roads?”

Rental Agent: “You should have purchased the insurance; then I wouldn’t have to be doing this!”

Me: “Please transfer me to your supervisor.”

I ended up escalating to the regional representative, but the “damage” report was thrown out and I never had to pay a dime. I’m never renting from them again, though.

It is early in the morning, around 5:45 or 6:00 am in January, and it has just snowed a few inches outside.

I am opening and a “customer” goes straight to one of the drink coolers in the front of the store out of the view of me and the clerk I am standing next to, but we can see him in the reflection of the freezer glass window behind him, and he is obviously shoving drinks into his jacket.

After he has a substantial amount tucked into his jacket, he closes the door and turns to make a break for the door. He gets about two strides in before he falls and face-plants into the tile floor, and all of the drinks spill out of his jacket or explode.

We immediately run over to help him and we quickly collect all the drinks before he can get them. We help him up and the clerk says:

Clerk: “Maybe you should stay so we can get you an ambulance and the police for your head; that looks bad.”

He looks at both of us and says, rather frantically:

Customer: “No, thanks!”

He bolted out the door. He’s not come back since.