It’s Rude To Feud

, , , | Right | September 18, 2017

(A customer comes up to the counter with two young children.)

Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Two tickets to [Popular Movie] and two small freezes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our machine isn’t working today. Would you like to substitute for a soft drink?”

Customer: *to his children, his tone suddenly shifting from polite to rude* “Throw things at her until the machine is fixed.”

Manager: *comes over to stand beside me, towering over both me and the customer, clearly having overheard what he said* “Hello, sir. Is there an issue over here?”

Customer: *clearly rattled* “Nope. None at all. I’ll take two small [sodas], ma’am.”

(I considered myself very lucky to have such a great manager, who looked out for us instead of bending over backwards for unreasonable people just to keep himself golden in the eyes of corporate.)

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Email Fail, Part 13

, , , , | Working | September 17, 2017

Me: “Hey, [IT Guy], I had to change my password to log onto my computer yesterday, and, like an idiot, I forgot what I changed it to today, and I am locked out. Can you fix it for me?”

IT Guy: “Sure.”

(Twenty minutes later…)

Me: “So… how’s it going?”

IT Guy: “Oh, yeah, I sent you an email.”

Me: “…My email is on my computer. The computer I am currently locked out of.”

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You Need A Cough-Drop Doughnut

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2017

(I work in a small town bakery. Only two workers are present for the evening shift. Each time we hear the door chime, signifying a customer has entered, my coworker and I do rock/paper/scissors to see who has to help the customer. I lose this time.)

Me: “Welcome to [Bakery]! How may I help you?

Customer: *cough* “I’d like a dozen doughnuts.” *cough* “Six glazed, three chocolate cake, two apple fritters… no, no.” *cough* “Not that glazed doughnut! No, to the right. Down one more. Yes, that one.” *cough*  “Then I want that one. No, the other one.”

(There are about 60 doughnuts on a tray, and it’s very hard to see where she is tapping the glass from my side. She continues to be this picky about every single doughnut in the entire dozen, all while her coughing worsens.)

Me: “Will that be all for you?”

Customer: *begins coughing so hard, she can’t speak, she only nods*

Me: “That will be [total].”

(As she hands me the money, she coughs up a HUGE piece of mucus onto half the money and part of the countertop. I stand there, frozen and mortified.)

Customer: *very happily* “Keep the change!”

(She grabs the doughnuts and rushes out. I am still standing there, staring at the counter and money in my hand. My coworker and another customer have witnessed all of this.)

Me: “What do I do?”

Coworker: “She’s your customer. You clean it up.”

(I did. She became a regular and was always coughing like that. I refused to help her, rock/paper/scissors or not!)

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Cramping Up Out Of Embarrassment

, , | Right | September 17, 2017

(I work EMS on a college campus. We get a call about an unresponsive student in a dorm bathroom. We arrive and talk to the roommate.)

Roommate: “She went in the bathroom about an hour ago, and she hasn’t come out, and won’t talk to me.”

Me: *knocks on the door* “Campus EMS! Are you okay?” *no response* “It’s EMS. Please open the door!” *no response* “Open the door, or we will break it down.” *no response*

(We break down the door and find a completely conscious girl inside.)

Me: “Are you okay?”

Girl: *completely indignant* “Why did you break down the door?!”

Me: “Because you didn’t say anything. Why didn’t you respond?”

Girl: “Because I have cramps and I was embarrassed.”

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Unfiltered Story #93728

, , | Unfiltered | September 17, 2017

(I work for a popular pet store chain that offers grooming as a service option. It is a very busy day at our store with a full grooming salon with a line out the door and lines at each register. I am manning the phones one day while my manager deals with an emergency regarding a truck delivery. Note that I am one of a few people outside the groomers that knows how to book grooming appointments even though I myself am not a groomer. I was trained so I could help in situations like this without pulling a groomer away just to make an appointment.)
Me: *answering phone* Thank you for calling [Pet Store] this is [My Name] how can I help you out today?
Customer: *silence*
Me: Hello?
Customer: *silence*
Me: Is anyone there?
Customer: *practically screaming* GROOMING!
Me; I’m sorry?
Customer: GROOMING!
Me: Did you want to make a grooming appointment?
Customer: GROOMING!
Me; Ma’am if you want to make a grooming appointment I would be glad to help you out with that.
Customer: NO I NEED TO TALK TO GROOMING TO MAKE MY APPOINTMENT!
Me: Well they are very busy right now so if I transfer you you are going to have about a twenty minute wait on hold because there is no one to assist you. I can in fact make you a grooming appointment right this minute because I am trained to do so.
Customer: THIS IS RIDICULOUS A 20 MINUTE WAIT TO MAKE A D*** APPOINTMENT!
Me: Ma’am like I said I can make you an appointment right this minute without putting you on hold.
Customer: JUST PUT ME ON HOLD WHATEVER I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
Me: As you wish, someone will be with you as soon as they can. Have a lovely day! *puts lady on hold*
(About thirty minutes pass with a couple uninteresting phone calls about products and closing times until…)
Me: *answering phone* Thank you for callin-
Customer Again: GROOMING!
Me: I’m sor-
Customer: WHAT PART OF GROOMING DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND! PUT ME THROUGH I NEED TO SPEAK TO THEM NOW SO I CAN MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!
Me: Ma’am they are still very busy did you not get through when I transferred you?
Customer: No I waited five minutes and no one answered so I hung up and waited twenty minutes now I want to talk to them!
Me: Ma’am I told you if you stayed on hold for those 20 minutes someone would help you but since you hung up I have to put you at the end of the hold queue again.
Customer: THIS IS RIDICULOUS HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE! I THOUGHT YOU COULD MAKE THE APPOINTMENT NOW!
Me: I can certainly do that would you like to opt for that instead?
Customer: FINE.
Me: *exasperated at this point* All right when were you looking for an appointment?
Customer: I need to bring her in today around 4pm.
Me: *stunned* Ma’am we are completely booked there are no appointment slots left for the day. It is a weekend and we fill up days or weeks in advance depending on the time of year.
Customer: DON’T GIVE ME THAT! I TRIED MAKING AN ONLINE RESERVATION BUT THEY SAID THERE WAS NO ROOM SO NOW I AM CALLING YOU HAVE TO FIT ME IN!
Me: There is no possible way for me to do that.
Customer: THIS IS WHY I WANTED GROOMING THEY KNOW ME THEY WILL GET ME IN! TRANSFER ME TO THEM!
Me: Sure thing please hold.
(About thirty minutes later my manager is back so i am off phones. I hop into the grooming salon to help hold a dog for nails.)
Me: Hey any chance you know what happened with a crazy lady on hold? Wanted an appointment at 4pm?
Groomer: *laughing* Yeah we talked to her. Wanting an appointment today? HA! We told her there was NO WAY in hell she was getting in today. Who in their right mind thinks they can bully their way into an appointment?
Me: Exactly! The meaner you are the less willing I will be to help you. Some people just don’t get it.

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