Unfiltered Story #100139

, , | Unfiltered | November 17, 2017

(I am at a sports bar watching football with my parents and little brother. We have been there for a while and my mom has had a little too much to drink.)

Little Brother: “Dad, please can we go now? I’m so bored.”

Dad: *looking at beer to see how much he has left* “Okay, fine we’ll leave soon, hang on, Just give me four inches.”

Mom: “That’s what she said.”

(At this point I was laughing so hard that I almost spit out my soda.)

Let Them Carry On While You Carry

, , , , , | Related | November 17, 2017

(My stepdad is notoriously sexist and has put on a big show about coming outside and actually helping us for once. He and my fiancé are carrying bags of cement into the garage by themselves while my mom and I watch, because we have already cleaned the garage.)

Stepdad: *in a derogatory tone* “What would you women do if we weren’t here to carry this for you?”

(My mom snaps back while I lean close to whisper in my fiancé’s ear.)

Me: “I’m the one who put them in the car.”

Fiancé: *bursts out laughing*

Selling Cuteness Short

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I work in a plus-sized clothing store. We carry “regular” and “petite” sizes. The only difference between the two is length, as the “petites” are shorter.)

Customer: “So, what’s the deal with the petite pants?”

Me: “They are cut shorter than the regular sizes. The sizing is the same.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought they just did that to make it cute.”

First Time Being Asked That

, , , , | Working | November 17, 2017

(Although I’ve paid my dues in retail, this time I am the customer. An associate is looking up my account information.)

Associate: “Can I have your last name?”

(I give it to her, and spell it.)

Associate: “Thanks, and do you have a first name?”

Behaving Fairly Fairy

, , , , , , , | Romantic | November 17, 2017

Some friends and I are at a party over Halloween weekend. One of them is dressed as the Good Fairy and carries a wand which is handmade of pretty thick wood, painted, with a star and glitter. She’s also a bit of a goody two-shoes, and every time someone swears she’ll tap them on the head with her wand and say, “The Good Fairy doesn’t like that!”

As the night goes on, people get progressively drunker, and a guy none of us knows has been bugging her for a while. We’re trying to get away from him when he grabs her breasts from behind. She swings around and smacks him in the face with the wand so hard she breaks it in half. “THE GOOD FAIRY DOESN’T LIKE THAT!”

He got kicked out.

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