I am working in a grocery store and I overhear a woman in another aisle talking to herself.

Customer: “Is Chardonnay vegan? I’m on a vegan diet! Let me Google it… It is!”

I never saw someone skipping away so happily before.

My name itself isn’t uncommon, but the pronunciation is. I’m used to correcting people about it, and most of the time, they’re understanding. I’m out grocery shopping. I buy wine, and I show the cashier my ID.

Cashier: “Oh, [Common Pronunciation Of My Name], that’s a great name!”

Me: “It’s actually [Correct Pronunciation], but thanks!”

Cashier: “You’re wrong, though. It’s always been [Common Pronunciation].”

Me: “That’s the more popular version; I have the German variation. It’s spelled the same, which is why a lot of people get confused.”

Cashier: “No, you’re lying. I bet that ID is fake.”

I’m super confused at this point. The cashier pages a manager, who already looks annoyed.

Manager: “What’s going on?”

Cashier: “She’s trying to use a fake ID to buy alcohol!”

Manager: “Can I see it?”

The cashier hands it over. The manager turns it a bit, checks both sides, and then looks at the cashier.

Manager: “Why are you saying it’s fake? It looks real, all the info looks right, and she’s over twenty-one.” 

Cashier: “She’s made up some s*** about her name being pronounced [Correct Pronunciation]!”

Manager: *Pauses* “Is that really why you’re saying it’s fake?!”

Cashier: “It’s always [Common Pronunciation]! She’s making it up to try to use someone else’s ID!”

Manager: “It’s not fake. [Correct Pronunciation] is a variation on that spelling. Please finish ringing her up, including the alcohol.”

The manager handed my ID back. The cashier refused to speak to me for the rest of the transaction. My receipt had a survey link at the bottom, and I made sure to note the incident in it.

After my grandmother had a life-changing stroke, I tried to help cancel subscriptions and handle her day-to-day mail, call friends, and things like that.

One thing I did first was call the local paper to cancel her long-standing newspaper subscription. We knew she wasn’t ever going to be coming home, so why let it pile up?

The person I talked to at the paper literally would not allow that. They tried to convince me she’d be unhappy without her paper. “Are you sure? She’s subscribed for decades, are you sure?”

Eventually, they “allowed” me to put her on a vacation hold! I was rolling my eyes the entire time, but by all means, put her on a vacation hold.

That was in November of 2001. She passed away in January of 2005, but her newspaper is still on a vacation hold!

I’ve recently been hired at a chain of grocery stores that has a service where items are ordered online, shopped by store associates, and then brought out to your car when you arrive. I’m one of the assistant managers, but as this area of the store is swamped for the holidays, I’ve not been trained in much thus far and all of management needs to be able to run this area of the store should the need arise.

I bring out an order to an SUV and collect payment from a couple who are inoffensive but otherwise disinterested, which seems to be par for the course. Another associate is loading their things into their trunk when I hand them their receipt. 

Customer: “Where are my vitamins? I don’t see them on here.”

She wiggles the receipt at me from the passenger’s seat as if, from outside the car, ten feet away, I could read the tiny text on her receipt to solve her issue… or maybe she just thought I had her order memorized?

Me: “I can go inside and pull your order manifest to see if they’re listed. As they aren’t on the review page for items substituted or out of stock, they would be in your bags and on your receipt if they were ordered.”

Customer: “They’re in the pharmacy! I called and spoke to [Person] this morning; he said he would come and get them. This is ridiculous! Why do you even have this service if you can’t do your d*** jobs?”

I may be new to this job but not to retail. I have been alone in the to-go department all morning with only my trainer, another woman, able to answer the phone. There is no one named [Person] in our department or even with a name similar to [Person]. I give her a cool look.

Me: “Well, ma’am, that’s odd since there is no one by that name who works in this department—”

She cuts me off.

Customer: “I don’t care. I want my vitamins. They were there when I left today. Why aren’t they here now?”

I’m confused for a moment until I realize why she looks familiar.

Me: “You work in the pharmacy, then?”

Customer: “I’m the pharmacy manager, yes.”

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name], the new assistant store manager. I’d suggest you manage to walk your way back into your department and pick up your own vitamins. I’d also suggest you refrain from speaking to your fellow associates that way again because, after I file my complaint with human resources about you, that will mean you’re establishing a pattern of disrespect. Have a nice afternoon!”

She made a gaping fish face at me as I turned around. The associate who had been loading her order was torn between being stunned and laughing. Obviously, we all get customers who are less than their best. Why would you add to someone else’s burden by acting like the typical, entitled idiots we all hate?

As an “honorary” uncle, I am playing with my two-year-old niece one day when she decides to bring all her horse dolls out to play with. Two of them are about the same size while the third is noticeably smaller.

Me: “They could be a mommy and daddy horse and their baby horse.”

Practically the moment I say that, I realize I don’t want to imply that this is the only “right” sort of family unit, especially since my niece was conceived via sperm donor and so doesn’t have a father. Thus, I quickly decide I need to add some other suggestions.

Me: “Or maybe it’s a mommy horse, another mommy, and their baby?”

Niece: “You can’t have two mommies.”

Niece’s Mother: “Sure, you can! What about [Friend]? She has two mommies, doesn’t she?”

Niece: “Oh.”

Niece’s Mother: “Or maybe it’s a mommy horse, a grandma horse, and a baby horse.”

Until recently, [Niece] and her mother lived with her grandmother while their house was being renovated, so a mommy horse and grandma horse better describe their “family unit.”

Me: “Or maybe it’s a mommy horse and an uncle horse who came to play with his favorite niece horse!”

Our play quickly moved on to other things, but I’m glad I was able to catch my mistake in time to fix my original suggestion, and particularly thankful that my niece’s mother picked up on what I was trying to do and backed me up so quickly.