Millennial Problems Don’t Have Legs To Stand On

, , | Healthy | November 24, 2017

(I’m 20, and I use a wheelchair because my leg muscles can’t support me. I’m at the grocery store with my boyfriend and talking to someone at the bakery who we know personally when a woman walks up to us.)

Woman: “Oh, another lazy teen. Why can’t you just walk normally?”

Me: “Uhm, because I have a medical condition?”

Woman: “Don’t you lie! You just don’t wanna walk like everyone else!”

Boyfriend: “She can’t even stand up without assistance. She’s not lazy.”

Woman: “Oh, so you’re in on this, too?!” *looks at bakery clerk* “Do you see what this generation is doing?!”

Clerk: “Yeah, people who regularly see a doctor about their medical problems. She’s been in a wheelchair since I met her.”

Woman: “UGH! LAZY ENTITLED BRATS!” *storms off*

(We laugh after she leaves. The bakery clerk gives us a couple baked goods for half off for the trouble.)

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A Triple Threat

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I work at a fast food place. A customer comes up to the front counter.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I ordered a triple burger and you only gave me a double.”

(I have just gotten off my break.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. My coworker must have gotten the wrong order. May I see the burger?”

(He hands me the bag, which has a triple burger in it.)

Me: “Sir, that is the triple burger.”

(He huffs and walks away only to come back a minute later with the bag.)

Customer: “If it’s a triple burger, why does it only have two pieces of meat?”

Me: “May I see it?”

(Carefully, I grab the burger by the wrapper and open it up, using the wrapper, and count three.)

Me: “Sir, there are three.”

Customer: “What? Where?”

(I point and count out three, still holding it by the wrapper.)

Customer: “You just touched it! Why would you touch it?”

Me: “Sir, I was very careful; I only touched the wrapper.”

Customer: “Can I get a new one anyway?”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

(I took his food and threw it away and had a new burger made, so he wouldn’t get a second for free like he wanted.)

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Better B-lieve It

, , , , | Learning | November 24, 2017

(I am a teacher who works with kindergarten students. On this day, I am pulling kids one-on-one to assess if they know their letter names and sounds.)

Me: *holds up a flashcard with a “B” on it* “What letter is this?”

Student: *shrugs* “I don’t know.”

Me: “It’s a ‘B.’ Say, ‘B.'”

Student: “‘B.'”

Me: “Good. What sound does a ‘B’ make?”

Student: “BUZZZZZZ!”

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A Premium Idiot

, , , , , | Working | November 24, 2017

(A new employee at our company has requested a mobile phone; this is not something we normally provide, but the user is insistent and his manager has approved the decision.)

New Employee: “Hi, I came down because in the email it said I was approved for a [base mode], but I need a [premium model], instead.”

Me: “We don’t normally purchase those for anyone below the executive level, as they are considerably more expensive than the [base model].”

New Employee: “No, it absolutely must be a [premium model]. Only [premium model] has the features I need. I cannot do my job without it!”

Me: “Okay, we’ll order one for you.”

(The man goes away satisfied, and then comes in about ten minutes later.)

New Employee: “If it turns out I don’t like it, I can just give it back to you guys, right?”

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Now It’s A Party!

, , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(As I’m working as hostess one night, a woman with two children around the age of 12 comes in.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. How many are in your party?”

Customer: “Hi, we have eight and two kids.”

Me: “Oh, okay, so, ten. Let me just set up your—”

Customer: “No! Are you dumb? I said, ‘eight and two kids.’”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that is ten.”


Me: “Ma’am, as long as your kids are old enough to sit in regular seats, you have a party of ten. If I sit you at a table for eight, you won’t have room for two people.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Party of ten.”

Me: *internally screams*

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