A Blanket Of Warmth

, , , | Hopeless | June 12, 2017

(I had to put my miniature dachshund down this morning. He’s been my best friend for about 12 years, and has helped me through so much, including two miscarriages. I have always viewed him much like a child, so losing him has me completely heartbroken. While leaving the veterinarian’s office, with my husband just ahead carrying my dog in his favorite blanket, a postal worker saw me about to break down. I have never met her before, but she immediately rushed up to me with a knowing look.)

Postal Worker: “I know what’s happened. I know it’s not easy. I am so sorry.”

(That sweet stranger gave me the most comforting hug and let me cry on her shoulder in the parking lot until I had the strength to get a hold of myself again. Thank you, dear lady. It was a small, but incredibly meaningful gesture.)

Their Brain Is 0.11 Karats

, , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(I work at a precious metals refinery. Like it sounds, we buy precious metals. I get a phone call from a customer who asks me what we will pay for a triple band ring. That being rather vague, I have to ask some follow-up questions:)

Me: “What karat of ring is it?”

Caller: “It’s, uh… I don’t know what karat it is.”

Me: “Okay, we can’t give you a quote without that information, but just as an estimate, if it was 14 karat it would be—”

Caller: “No, it’s not 14 karat. How much for a triple band ring?”

Me: “Again, I can’t give you a quote without knowing what type of metal it is, but if you brought it in, we’d be able to give you an accurate estimate.”

Caller: “Okay, thanks anyway.”

(Ten minutes later he calls back.)

Caller: “How much for a .11 karat ring?”

Me: “I’m afraid there’s no such thing as .11 karat.”

Caller: “But I need to know how much it would be.”

Me: “And I’m still going to need to know what gold karat it is.”

Caller: “It’s not gold.”

Me: “So it’s… silver?”

Caller: “Yeeaaahhh.”

Me: “Okay, well, an average silver band would weigh about 5 grams, which would give you about $4.00.”

Caller: “That doesn’t sound right. It’s not that small! It’s point 11 karats!”

Me: “Wait, you mean weight? As in, .11 carats?”

Caller: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay, well, give me a minute.”

(I assume that he has a small jeweler’s scale and has weighed it in diamond weights — carats — because he couldn’t figure out how to change the scale to grams or pennyweights. Not being all that familiar with carats since we don’t do gemstones, I Google the conversion factor. I am sure that something has gone wrong, however, when I see the results of my search.)

Me: “Uh, sir, .11 carats turns out to be less than a thousandth of a gram.”

Caller: “Okay.”

Me: “You can’t have a ring that weighs less than a thousandth of a gram. It’s physically impossible.”

Caller: “That’s what he said.”

Me: “That would mean your ring weighed less than 1/2,000th of a penny.”

Caller: “I called the jeweler I bought it from and that’s what he said.”

Me: “Oh, the stone in your ring weighs .11 carats! Unfortunately, we don’t buy stones of any type. We’d only be able to buy the metal, and I’d need a weight on that to give you an accurate quote.”

Caller: “It’s point 11 carats!”

Me: “Again, that is for your stone. We cannot buy the stone from you. The metal itself has an entirely different weight. Did the jeweler tell you a weight for the metal?”

Caller: *getting really angry* “No. Look, don’t you have any point 11 carat rings around the shop that you could weigh up for me to see how much it would be?”

(I had absolutely no words for this. Apparently this man believes that every ring in the world with a certain stone size has the same weight. At this point, I decided to stop arguing with him.)

Me: “No. We don’t. You’ll just have to come in to get a quote on it.”

Caller: “Fine. Goodbye.”

(20 minutes later, I’m working on another order, so my boss answers the phone. A few minutes later I hear my boss say “Sir, .11 is not a karat.”)

Might Need A New Nickname

, , , , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(I work at a big chain grocery store in the deli. We have several regular customers who are bad enough to earn nicknames. This guy is simply “the a**-hole.” He is always rude and will ask for excessive condiment packets which our manager finally limited because of him. I get to deal with him after the limit was set.)

Customer: “Can I get a corn dog and some mustard?”

Me: “Sure thing.” *packs up the corn dog and four mustard packets, making sure he can see*

Me: *prints the tag* “Here is your corn dog and I gave you four packets of mustard in the bag.”

Customer: *snatching the bag from me* “Can I get more mustard and some ketchup, too?”

Me: *grabs two packets of ketchup* “I can give you the ketchup, but I can’t give you any more mustard.”

Customer: “What the f***? Give me some more.”

Me: *used to the swearing and bad attitude from him* “Sorry, but we have a limit on how many packets per customer. I actually gave you more than I am supposed to.”

Customer: *goes off on a rant full of swearing*

Me: *upset and annoyed, I don’t even try to pretend to be nice* “Can I get you anything else today?”

Customer: “F*** you, you f****** b****!”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(As we only have one other customer and my coworker is with them, I quickly walk away before letting my language slip, but can’t manage to shake off the insults. I am not being paid enough to put up with his BS and still be nice to him. The next few times he comes in, I don’t even bother to put up a fake smile for him. He always grumbles about the condiment limit and I ignore him and move on to the next customer, all smiles again. Surprisingly, he not only notices, but it turns out he cared because after a couple weeks, this happens while I’m alone.)

Customer: *rushes up to my counter as I finish up with a customer* “Hey!”

(I think, “here we go again” and take a deep breath, but before I can say anything:)

Customer: “No, no, no. I don’t want to buy anything. I just wanted to say I’m really sorry.”

Me: *genuinely surprised* “Oh? Um… okay.”

Customer: “I’ve been having a really bad couple of weeks and I’ve been an a**-hole to you. I’m really sorry. You’re just doing you’re job I won’t do it again. Do you think we can be friends?”

Me: *completely taken aback* “Um… yeah. Sure. Thank you for apologizing. Do you need anything today?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted to make sure I’d catch you whIle you were working.”

(He left and my coworkers came back a few minutes later.  I told them “the a**-hole apologized” and they didn’t believe me until I told the story. He was never rude to me or anyone else after that. I have no idea what caused it, but it was a nice change!)

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Slices Of Confusion

, , , , , | Working | June 12, 2017

(My husband, toddler, and I are staying in a hotel adjacent to a well-known party street. It is about eight pm on a weeknight, and the area is starting to get busy but not crazy yet, so we decide to walk over to a nearby pizza shop to get a few slices to take back to the hotel. Again, we are stone-cold sober and have a toddler with us.)

Me: “Could I get a [Slice #1] and a [Slice #2], please?”

Pizza Girl: “Sure thing.” *Grabs [Slice #2] to put in oven, but not [Slice #1]*

Me: “Oh, I need a [Slice #1] too, please.”

Pizza Girl: *annoyed* “I got it.” *grabs a [Slice #1] to put in the oven and says to Cashier* “[Slice #1] and a [Slice #2].”

Cashier: “That’ll be [amount].”

Me: “Oh, I’m paying for [Husband], too.” *gesture to my husband and toddler, who are still standing by the pizza display and have not yet ordered*

Cashier: *annoyed* “It’s [same amount].”

Me: *confused* “For four slices?”

Cashier: “Wait, what?” *turns to Pizza Girl who is getting my slices out of the oven* “She’s getting four slices?”

(It finally dawns on Pizza Girl that my husband might like to order, and she takes his order while Cashier rings me up for all four slices. Pizza Girl then hands us each two flimsy paper plates with huge slices of pizza on them, which we’ll obviously need to somehow manage to walk somewhere with while holding a toddler, as there is no dining area.)

Husband: “Could we get a couple extra plates, please? We need to walk back to our hotel with these.”

Pizza Girl: “Oh, would you like boxes?”

Me: *wondering why they wouldn’t think to offer these before* “Yes, please.”

(Seriously, if four slices of pizza was that much trouble for them, I’d hate to see what a mess that place is at two am!)

The Phone Is On But Nobody’s Home

, , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(A customer comes up to my till, places her items on the counter, and immediately takes out her phone.)

Me: “Who was helping you pick your items out today?”

(I work at a boutique that gives employees bonuses based on the sales they make. Thus, I need to know who was helping each customer so I can enter it into the register.)

Customer: *doesn’t react*

Me: *a little louder* “Was anyone helping you pick out your items today?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, no, I didn’t even try them on. I’m in a big hurry.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.”

(I’m relatively new to the job, and still trying to get the hang of the cashiering process, but hearing that she’s in a hurry, I do my best to get her checked out quickly. However:)

Me: “May I have your phone number so you can get your membership discount?”

Customer: *no reaction, still looking at her phone*

Me: “Ma’am, what’s your phone number?”

Customer: “Hm? Oh, it’s [Number]”

(This continued for the entire rest of the transaction. She’d immediately go back to her phone after answering my questions, and she was so absorbed in whatever she was doing that I’d have to ask twice. Every. Single. Time. This effectively doubled the time she spent at the register. Pro tip: if you’re in a “big hurry,” maybe pay enough attention to the transaction that I can actually get you out quickly?)

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