Wonder Where The Kids Learned That From

, , , , | Right | October 28, 2017

(I get a noise complaint about a room full of kids. I call the dad of the kids to tell them to please keep it down.)

Dad: “Okay.” *to kids* “HEY, KIDS! SHUT THE F*** UP!”

(Dead silence.)

Dad: *hangs up*

(I soon got another complaint about the dad loudly cursing. Ah, hotel patrons…)

Trouble Brewing

, , , , , , , | Related | October 28, 2017

We lived about four blocks from our elementary school. Our cousins lived about half a block from us. We all would walk home together after school. One day, we came across an unopened beer can on the dirt road shortcut and decided to play kick-the-can the rest of the way home.

About two houses away from our cousins’ home, the can hit a rock and began spraying all five of us.

We had to explain to both mothers what happened. At least they were able to laugh about our stupidity, so we didn’t get into trouble for coming home smelling like a brewery… that time!

Your Reasoning Cuts No Ice With Me

, , , , , , | Working | October 28, 2017

(Thanks to problems with my fillings, I can’t eat or drink really cold substances or I’ll get tremendous aches. I ask for most drinks to be prepared without ice. Most places have no problem with this.)

Me: *giving order* “And could I get a large [Soda], without ice?”

Cashier: *glares at me* “Fine.”

(I’m a bit taken aback by the sudden hostility, but I shrug it off. She finishes the order, then proceeds to fill up the cup halfway with [Soda] before trying to hand it to me.)

Me: “Um, this is only half-full.”

Cashier: *still glaring* “That’s what you get when you remove the ice.”

Me: “No. I paid for a cup of soda without ice. That means I should get a full cup.”

Cashier:No! You’re just trying to get soda for free! Just take it!”

(After she chanted, “Take it!” a couple of times, one of her coworkers came up with the rest of my order, wordlessly pulled the cup out of her hand, filled it up, and handed it off to me. I would have taken it up with the manager, but I was running late. I will note that I haven’t seen her working there when I’ve gone back since.)

Don’t Talk Crap

, , , , , | Friendly | October 28, 2017

(I’m walking my dog and he stops to do his business. After he finishes, I pull out a bag to clean it up when I hear a bang behind me. I stop, bag in hand, and look back to see a man on the porch of the nearest house, glaring at me. I’m outside of his fenced-in yard, on the strip of grass maintained by the city.)

Man: “If I see even one bit of crap on my lawn, I’m tracking you down and shooting that dog dead.”

Me: *after standing up to my full 6’6” height* “Try it, and I’ll land you in the hospital.”

(He tripped over himself running back inside. I can understand not wanting to deal with dog crap, but A) it’s not your lawn, B) I’m cleaning it up already, and C) don’t make threats if you aren’t willing to pay for them.)

That’s Very Middling Advice

, , , , | Learning | October 28, 2017

(I graduated high school two years ago, and I’m currently attending college. Over the summer I am staying at my parents’ house. Long story short, I need to get my driving “green card” from my high school, a document saying that I passed the driver’s class, in order to get my driver’s license. Obviously, I can’t drive there, so I decide to walk there since I have a lot of free time and it’s relatively close by. There are no walkways or anything, only a grassy side path, meaning I have to walk next to the street for a majority of the way. This isn’t a huge problem until I get to the school, where the side path cuts off, forcing me to either walk in the middle of the road, or walk through the school yard. I choose the latter, for obvious reasons.)

Teacher: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “Just walking around the school to get to the main office.”

Teacher: “You’re not supposed to be out there without a teacher!”

(I think nothing of this and move on, getting inside and heading towards the office. When I get there, the receptionist is on her walkie-talkie.)

Voice: *from the walkie-talkie* “Apparently there’s some kid wandering around outside the school. He said he was heading to the office.”

Me: *to the receptionist* “Yeah, that was me. I walked here from my house to get my green card saying I passed the driver’s ed class.”

Receptionist: “Why were you wandering around outside?”

Me: *laughing* “Because it was safer than walking through the street? Sorry, I had no other option.”

Receptionist: “You shouldn’t do that. On your way back, don’t walk through the yard.”

Me: “Well, like I said, it was either that or walk through the middle of the road, so…”

Receptionist: “Well, do that then.”

Me: “Hold on. Did you, a school employee, just tell me I should walk down the middle of the street during lunch hour?”

Receptionist: “Yes, I did. You can’t just wander around school grounds without a teacher or staff member present.”

(Eventually I left, making sure not to walk on their precious school grounds. I still can’t believe I was told that I should walk down the middle of the road!)