The Longest Shortlist

, , , , , , | | Working | August 22, 2019

Where I work, we have several printers/scanners scattered throughout the building. Each one mainly serves the employees whose desks are closest. On the machines we had until a few weeks ago, each scanner had shortcuts for the email addresses of the employees who used it most frequently. We just recently got all the scanners replaced, and the new ones come with a general address book of the entire company and no scanner-specific shortcuts. A number of employees, myself included, found that irritating.

Then, one day, I discovered a way to use the “shortcuts” feature to make a short list of frequently-used email addresses on my nearest scanner. Certain that my other coworkers would appreciate this, I sent out a company-wide email letting people know that it was possible and I’d be happy to show them how. Multiple coworkers responded favorably. Then, one of the managers called me up and told me to let the IT guy handle adding any shortcuts, “so that he can put them on the server and they’ll be available on all printers.”

After about five minutes, I finally got her to understand that this would defeat the purpose of my idea, but she still failed to see what was so annoying about scrolling through several dozen names every time you scan. And her name isn’t at the top of the alphabet, she has to scroll, too.

Billed Them As A Scammer Before They Presented A Bill

, , , , , , | | Right | August 22, 2019

(It’s Saturday and I’m on my till along with my other five coworkers trying to get the rush of customers down. It is about one o’clock and the line keeps at a steady thirty or forty customers. I only have about ten minutes until my shift was over. I decide that the young woman next in line will be my last for the day.) 

Me: “Hi. How are you?” 

Customer: “I’m great! Thank you!” 

(She places three small items on my counter and is already holding a fifty-dollar bill, prepared to pay. I scan each item and tell her her total.) 

Me: “Your total is $23.52. Cash?” 

(The lady nods and presents me with the fifty-dollar bill. I type in the amount and give her her change of $26.48. She smiles and leaves as I flick off my till light and begin to clean. I hear a knock on my register counter about five minutes later. It is the same lady, holding her change with an angry look.) 

Me: “Everything okay?” 

Customer: “I gave you a hundred-dollar bill. You didn’t give me all my change.” 

(Here we go. Either she honestly didn’t realize she was holding a fifty-dollar bill the entire time or it’s a scamming act I’ve seen many times before.) 

Me: “All right, I’m pretty sure you gave me a fifty-dollar bill, but I’ll print my till totals and count my drawer real quick.” 

Customer: “I don’t time for you to do that. Just give me my correct change. I know I gave you a hundred-dollar bill.” 

Me: “Oh, don’t worry; it will take less than two minutes. You see, I also work in our change office in the mornings as an emergency backup when our regular coworker doesn’t show up. I’ve had to get all the tills out in about ten minutes before we open.” 

(She sits there arms crossed and getting kind of nervous. Scam alert.) 

Me: “All right, my cash came to $1,678.77. Will you read me that top number on the total slip that printed in front of you?”

(The customer hesitates but grabs the totals and looks at the top number in bold.) 

Customer: “$1678.77…” 

(She ends balling it up and throwing it at me and storming off.) 

Me: “Have a great day!” 

(I took this particular customer because she is known for doing this and didn’t want any of my other newer coworkers to deal with her, because if your drawer is short five or more dollars it’s an automatic write-up. I ended up texting the manager of the store next to us and, sure enough, the same lady did the same thing after leaving my store.)

When Five Is Greater Than Eight

, , , , , | | Right | August 22, 2019

(I am in my second week of starting my new job, so my manager is nearby to supervise and help me. I’ve largely got the hang of it by now, though I do appreciate the occasional help. A customer walks up. I am the most free at the time since my manager is frying chips and my coworker is on break, so I walk up to her.)

Me: “Hello. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hi. I would like eight fried chicken legs.”

Me: “Well, it’ll be a lot cheaper to get the eight-piece set, since it’ll have to be rung up as eight chicken legs.”

Customer: “Don’t worry, since it’s the eight-piece on sale.”

Me: “Um, I cannot substitute pieces for a set.”

Manager: *who was nearby with the fryers* “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “I just want the eight-piece on sale with the eight chicken legs.”

Manager: “Ma’am, that does not apply. Look up and you’ll find the eight-piece set on sale.”

Customer: *looks up briefly* “Yeah, but it’s different than what’s on the glass counter.”

Manager: “Look up again.”

Customer: *takes a longer look at the sign above* “It is the same one.”

Manager: “See?” *goes back to frying more chips*

Me: “Okay, shall I get you the eight-piece set?”

Customer: “No. Instead, I want five fried-chicken legs.”

Me: “Um, Okay. But it’ll be cheaper to get the eight-piece set.”

Customer: “Don’t worry. I want the five chicken legs.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I go and get her the five chicken legs and, after ringing it up as five chicken legs, which is more expensive than the eight-piece set by a few dollars, I give it to her and give her my farewell. I then take a few steps back to my manager, who’s frying a new batch of chips.)

Me: “People can be pretty weird.”

Manager: “I hate people.”

Got A Head(Ache) For Science

, , , , | | Related | August 22, 2019

(I am naturally a curious person and absorb information like a sponge. One of my interests is natural remedies. I tend to get headaches quite frequently when I am in middle and high school. In middle school, I come to the conclusion that applying cold will help alleviate the headache. And so, like any sane thirteen-year-old, I think that the coldest thing to press my forehead against is the ice machine inside the freezer. My father walks into the kitchen and sees me with my head against the ice machine.)

Father: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Trying to get rid of a headache. I read that they’re caused by dilated blood vessels. Cold is supposed to constrict the blood vessels, so it’ll help my headache.”

Father: *calling to my mother, clearly lost* “Honey, she’s talking science again!”

Crafting A “The Floor Is Lava” Room

, , , , , | | Friendly | August 22, 2019

(I’ve recently started a casual, semi-survival server for my friends and me on a popular block-based game. On this day, I’m alone on the server collecting supplies underground, a fairly decent ways away from our base, when one of my friends logs on. All of this takes place through the in-game chat function.)

Friend: “Hey! Don’t be alarmed, but I am going to do some house construction.”

Me: “That’s fine. What are you gonna do?”

Friend: “I’m going to replace walls and stuff to be more open and modern, and expand some things to make a living room and kitchen. :-)”

Me: “Ooh, I can’t wait to see it.”

(There’s radio silence in the chat for about 20 minutes when…)

Chat: “[Friend] tried to swim in lava.”

(About five minutes later…)

Chat: “[Friend] tried to swim in lava.”

(Five minutes later…)

Chat: “[Friend] burned to death.”

Me: “What on earth are you doing?!”

Friend: “You’ll see! :-)”

(She was digging out the area under our base and creating a natural-looking lava pool that was to then be covered in glass. She’s so lucky I decided to turn “keep inventory” on.)

Page 2/2,56812345...Last