The Gloves Are Off

, , , , , , | Learning | October 19, 2017

(I’m the teacher’s assistant for a freshman biology lab class. I’ve worked with this professor for several years, and he’s as much my friend as he is my professor. Today’s lab is about running DNA on electrophoresis gels, which involves a lot of fairly hazardous chemicals. After the professor gets done explaining the concepts, he picks up one of the gels with his bare hands.)

Me: “Dude! Put some gloves on! Do you want to get cancer?!”

Professor: “Eh, whatever. I’ve already had all the kids I’m planning on having, and I figure I’m bound to get cancer, anyway, given how often I work with this stuff.”

(I face-palmed. I will say though, I’ve never seen so many freshmen scramble to get their lab gloves on that quickly!)

Unfiltered Story #97912

| Unfiltered | October 19, 2017

(I was in line with my items when this dirty looking, old man in a delivery driver’s uniform comes bursting in the door and demands his lottery tickets to be checked for winners. The poor cashier is already checking some woman’s tickets, so he tells him to wait.)

Cashier: “One of your tickets was a winner, ma’am congratulations.” *woman leaves* “And you sir?”

(He checks his tickets and there are no winners. The man becomes extremely upset and starts yelling.)

Old Man: “Godd*** you, always taking my money and never giving it back! How come you give it to her and not me? F*** you!”

(While I’m reeling at the absurdity of this, the old man begins walking threateningly at the cashier, who although taller, backs away. The old man starts to throw a punch, but thinks better of it and storms away. The cashier turns to me and starts ringing up my items. I took note of the old man’s company and made a formal complaint against him. I don’t know what happened, but I hope he got fired. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but after working in customer service for 6 years and having to deal with losers like him all the time, I have no regrets.)

Unfiltered Story #97910

, , | Unfiltered | October 19, 2017

(I work at a hiring agency, where we interview people, then send them out on jobs that are they are interested in. To be placed on a job, you have to come into one of our offices, and fill out some paperwork, including a background check, hire sheet, etc. It’s just three pages, and doesn’t take a lot of time to fill out, and is very similar to a hire sheet that you could fill out for any other job. I’m working the front desk as the receptionist when a gentleman walks in)
ME: Hi, how can I help you?
EMPLOYEE: Yeah, I’m here to apply for a job
ME: Okay, go ahead and sign in, and fill out these papers, and I’ll have someone help you once you turn it in. *gives man a clipboard with said papers*
(He walked off to fill out the paperwork, and I keep doing what I’m doing. He walks back about 10-15 minutes later, handing the clipboard to me)
EMPLOYEE: I’m done
ME: *surprised, because people usually don’t go through the paperwork that quickly* Er, okay. Let me see. *looks through papers to make sure everything is in order* Oh, sorry. It seems that you didn’t fill everything out. I need to sign several things, and there is a backside to one of these.
EMPLOYEE: Yeah, the thing is, I just don’t feel like doing all of it. Just put it in. *arrogant smirk*
(I have the rare employee walk in that IS reluctant to fill it out, but I usually just brush it off and hand it off to one of the interviewers. But I’ve had an unusually stressful day with my fair share of biting my tongue.)
ME: *irritated* Yeah, and I don’t feel like dealing with your attitude, But we all have to do things that we don’t want to. So you can sit back down, and fill out the rest, or leave.
(The employee was clearly surprised by my sharp response, and demanded to talk to my supervisor, and I gladly complied, knowing that she has a shorter fuse than I do. I call her over, and she glances briefly through the paperwork)
SUPERVISOR: How do you expect us to find you job, if we have no idea of your experience or what you want? Fill it out. *promptly gives the clipboard back to the employee and walks away*
(He glared at me grinning victoriously, before filling out the rest of the paperwork. He sulked the rest of the time in the office, but I was practically on cloud 9.)

Unfiltered Story #97908

, , | Unfiltered | October 19, 2017

(I am a paralegal, and one of my jobs is to answer the new client call-in line for my department. This happens at least once per intake session.)

Me: Hello, you’ve reached the [Department] intake line, this is [My Name], how can I help you?

Client: Is this [Department]?

Me:…Yes.

Client: And who am I speaking to?

Me: (sighs internally)

Unfiltered Story #97906

, , | Unfiltered | October 19, 2017

[I work in a small fair trade store. I’m explaining the nature of the store to some new customers.]

Me: So we like to say that every product we sell has a story.

Customer: Do you know all the stories?

Me: Most of them! I’ve been here the longest out of everybody, so I’ve had a lot of time to learn.

Customer: How do I know if they’re real?

Me: *pause* Well, how’s this? I’ll start with the truth about each product, and if you don’t like that, I’ll make something up.

[In the end I don’t have to make anything up.]

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