We Can Also Give It Lots Of Benadryl

, , | Right | April 28, 2008

(Our new drugstore is assigned a phone number that had previously belonged to the animal shelter. We ALWAYS answer the phone with our store name and hours, but people don’t always listen. This becomes annoying, but one of my coworkers likes to have fun with it.)

Caller: “Uh, yeah. I have this raccoon in my backyard.”

Coworker: “Hmm… that’s nice.”

Caller: “Yeah, well it seems to be acting strangely… like it’s crazy.”

Coworker: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Caller: “Well, you should do your job and come out and get rid of it! Isn’t that why I pay my taxes?”

Coworker: “Okay, then. Give me your address.”

Caller: *gives out address*

Coworker: “All right, after I close the drugstore I’ll be over with my shotgun around midnight. There will be a loud noise, so warn your neighbors. Since I don’t work for your taxes, just tape a $20 bill inside your mailbox, more if you want a fancy burial. Have a nice day!” *click*

1 Thumbs
3,095
VOTES

Conscience: We Loves It

, , , , | | Right | April 23, 2008

(Background story: This is around Halloween, and Halloween parties in Madison is THE biggest event of the year. My store has many Halloween costumes and other Halloween-related products during that time. I am at my cash register for check-out when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hi. Uhh… I’d like to buy these.”

(The customer puts down a wig, make-ups, a pantyhose, condoms, and lubes on my register.)

Me: “Ok.” *starts scanning*

Customer: “…”

Me: *still scanning*

Customer: “DON’T JUDGE ME!” *runs out*

Me: “?!”

1 Thumbs
3,357
VOTES

Not So Sweet Toothed

, , , | Right | April 17, 2008

(The bakery has just closed. I just clocked out, and am on my way out of the store.)

Lady: “Excuse me, could you decorate this cake for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. My shift is over, and the bakery is closed.”

Lady: “But I need it done for tomorrow! If you don’t do it, I’ll call your manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, what do you do for a living?”

Lady: “I’m a dentist.”

Me: “Would you like to look at my teeth after your shift ends, for free?”

Lady: “That’s different. My job is hard. Anyone could do your job.”

Me: “Then you won’t mind taking that cake home and decorating it yourself.”

1 Thumbs
11,353
VOTES

There Is No Spoon

, , | Right | April 16, 2008

(I am called back by the pharmacist to assist with a verbally abusive customer. The more the lady yells, the louder her kid cries. None of the other customers in line behind her can get to the register. )

Me: “How may I help you?”

Lady: “It’s about time you got back here to straighten this out! This s***-head won’t give me a medicine spoon!”

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, I’ve tried to explain that we are all out of the complimentary spoons.”

Lady: “If my daughter ends up getting an overdose of her medicine, I’m going to sue you!”

(I roll my eyes and walk over to a display of dosing spoons, selecting one we sell for 99 cents.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry we don’t have any of the free ones. Let me buy this one for you.”

Lady: “What? Do I look like a welfare mother to you? I don’t need your f****** charity!”

Pharmacist: “You don’t need the spoon either. Those are chewable tablets.”

1 Thumbs
5,178
VOTES

If Nincompoop, Then Infinite Loop

, | | Right | April 14, 2008

(I am walking a customer through setting up a fairly complex product.)

Customer: “Next or back?”

Me: “Next.”

Customer: “Okay, now next or back?”

Me: “We do not need to change any of the default settings, so we will be hitting next on the next seven or eight screens in a row. Let me know when another option, other than next or back, appears.”

Customer: *obviously not getting it* “Okay, now do I hit next or back?”

Me: “Hit next, and also hit next on the following five or six pages until there is no more next button.”

Customer: “Okay, I clicked next. Now do I hit next or back?”

(At this point I am going insane and decide to have a little fun.)

Me: “Click back.”

Customer: “Okay, now next or back?”

Me: “Click next.”

Customer: “Okay, next or back?”

Me: “Click back.”

Customer: “Okay, next or back?”

Me: “Click next.”

Customer: “Okay, next or back?”

Me: “Click back.”

(This goes on for a few minutes until the customer realises what’s going on. Or so I thought…)

Customer: “I think it’s broken; it keeps looping through the same pages!”

1 Thumbs
6,294
VOTES
Page 1,893/1,912First...1,8911,8921,8931,8941,895...Last