Maybe The Book Was ‘Cloud Atlas’

, , , | Learning | August 26, 2017

(I am in eighth grade, and we are required to give monthly book reports to our English class. For this month’s project, we are told to make a movie poster and assign real-life actors and actresses to play the characters in our book. A classmate is giving his report on a book I happened to have read a few months prior. He’s explained the plot fairly accurately when this happens.)

Classmate: “And here we have [Character] as played by [Pretty, Blonde Actress].”

(I was too shy to call him out on it, but the character he was referring to was not only not blonde, but a man! I’m not sure how he read the book well enough to explain the plot, but not remember if a character was a man or a woman.)

Unfiltered Story #91957

, , | Unfiltered | August 26, 2017

I work in the lumber department of a big box home improvement store, and there is one other lumber associate at the time helping other customers. A lady that looks in her 60s comes and is asking me for items to make shelves. She is really demanding, clueless, cheap, and indecisive and I take her all around the department to explain the difference between using plywood, 2-inch and 1-inch wood, or pre-cut shelves. I am in the 1-inch aisle trying to get her to understand the difference between pine priced per piece and hardwood priced per foot, when a regular customer (a man in his 50s) that has been waiting patiently for a couple minutes cuts in.

Man: “I have a quick question, where is [type of product for which there is two types]?”

Me: “I can answer quickly, but first which type… ”

Woman (rudely to Man): “Excuse, me but he was with me first. You’re really rude for interrupting us before we are done.

Man: “I’m really rude? You’re the one who is rude! I just have a quick question and then he can go back with you since you’ve been hogging him.”

– Both customers look at me basically to see who I side with and I stand speechless for a minute

Woman: “Well where I come from it is rude to cut in on customer until they are done with the salesperson.”

Man (now shouting): Listen lady, you’re the one who is rude, any decent person would let him answer a simple question first and then go back to you”

– At this point they are both standing tall and I swear they are about to come to blows. To cut the tension, I speak up:

Me: (to man) “I was with this this lady first. There is someone on the back saw, he can help you when he is done with his customer or I will help you when I am done with this customer, whoever is done first.

Man: (obviously annoyed with the lady not me): “Fine, whatever” and walks away

Woman: “Thank you. That man was really rude, wouldn’t you agree?”

– It wanted to say that both of them were rude, but I ignored the question and I spend another 10 min with the lady to help her decide and finally get some hardwood laminated plywood and take it to the panel saw to cut. While cutting, I see the man pass by and I politely say I will be with him shortly. Both customers eye each other with evil eyes. The lady repeatedly makes snide remarks about the man to me but intentionally loud enough for the man to hear as he walks away. I finish cutting for the lady and have 1/2 the board left in large scraps left over from cutting out the shelves to size.

Me: “Do you want the left over pieces.”

Lady: “What do you do with scraps if I don’t want them?”

Me: “We usually keep on a cart and offer to customers free if they want them. Since you are paying for the whole piece, we can’t resell them, and if there are leftovers at the end of the day, we throw them away.

Lady: “Ok, you can give them away to anyone… except that rude man.”

The lady takes her cart and walks away but the register is in sight of the saw. The man comes to the saw with some OSB (cheaper than plywood than the lady got) and has apparently answered his own question from earlier.

Man: “Man that b**** was crazy. Anyway, I need this cut to [about the same size as the scraps from the lady]. Actually, what are those scraps, can I have them?

Me (not knowing how to say this tactfully and at the same time not laugh): “Um, actually they are from that lady and normally we give the scraps away, but, umm… she specifically said not to give them to you. However, I’ll wait until she leaves the store and then I will give them to you.”

Man: “That’s Ok, I wouldn’t even want anything from that crazy b*** anyway. Just cut it out of the boards I grabbed”

I cut for him and he leaves his scraps and now I have a whole board worth of scraps that I end up throwing out at the end of the day (it’s actually sad how much stuff we end up throwing away each day)

Unfiltered Story #91951

, , , , | Unfiltered | August 26, 2017

I was walking this family (of two) around my department, trying to help them get the correct products to paint their kitchen. When it came to color choices, the conversation went like this:
Adult Grandson: Meemaw, she needs you to choose the color you want.
Meemaw: Shoot, I don’t care! You choose, you’re gonna live longer than me anyways!
Adult Grandson: Meemaw, I’m color blind!!
In the end, Meemaw chose the yellow and I ended up choosing the brown for the cabinets. Hope they like it lol

You’re Not Declining This Awesome

, , , , , , , | Hopeless | August 25, 2017

(I work in the school district. As such, I get shunted around a lot. While getting lunch on the first day back, I decided to stop by a fast food place for lunch. I order my food, swipe my card, and it’s declined. I try again, declined. As I walk away, this happens:)

Cashier: “Sir, don’t you want your food? It was accepted.”

Me: “It was?”

Cashier: “Yes, sir. Here’s your drink, your food will be out momentarily.”

(As I fill up my drink, I see the manager tapping on the screen, and I see he smiles at me as he hands me my food, realization dawning on me.)

Manager: “Here’s your food, sir. Have a good lunch!”

(I think I said “Thank you” no less than five times. Cashier, Manager, you two gave me the strength to get through a tough day! Thank you so very much!)

Discounting Their Inability To Discount

, , , , | Working | August 25, 2017

(For an number of years, we have been using the same service from a well-known cable company for TV and Internet. A new provider comes into town and offers a package of the same content at a significant discount. I call the cable company we are using to see what they will do. I ask to talk to the customer retention department.)

Me: “So [Competing Company] has just come into my neighborhood and is offering me a $99 package on a two-year price guarantee. It has pretty much the same features as what I’m paying $140 or so from you. I’m wondering if you’ll price match.”

Rep on Phone: “Well, we can offer you a discount. Let me look.” *a few seconds go by* “It looks like we can get your price down to $119.”

Me: “Well, $119 is still $20 more than the other company. You can’t price match?”

Rep on Phone: “No, that’s as far down as I am allowed to go. In order to get that price though, you’d need to sign a new two-year contract.”

Me: “I’m not doing that, thank you.”

(I get the new service in at $99 and am very happy with it and bring my old equipment into the store of the old company to return it.)

Rep At Store: “It looks like you signed on to a new two-year agreement to get your price lowered, so if you return your equipment and cancel your service you’ll need to pay a termination fee.”

Me: “No, I didn’t. I told them specifically I wouldn’t agree to their plan. It was still higher than the other company.”

Rep At Store: “Hmm, how much are you paying now?”

Me: “$99.”

Rep At Store: “Hmm, we could have price matched that. Did you call the customer retention department?”

Me: “Yep, that’s who told me they couldn’t get the price down that far.”

Rep At Store: “That’s odd. Well, if you want, I can lower your price to $99 now and you can keep your equipment.”

Me: “No, thanks. I already signed a two-year agreement with the other company and did the install. I just need to return all of this.”

Rep At Store: “But I can price match.”

Me: “But it’s too late!”

(I left there having canceled my service without paying a termination fee. Two days later I get a call. I think I recognize the voice but I’m not sure.)

Rep on Phone: “Hi there. I’m calling from [Old Company] and I see you recently canceled your service. I’m from the customer retention department and I want to see if we can keep you as a valued customer.”

Me: “I already have new service. I called before switching and the person said they couldn’t lower the price enough to match. So I switched.”

Rep on Phone: “That is odd, because we do price matching. Let me see the account. Hmmm, it looks like you talked to…” *pause* “…me.”

Me: “Then you were the one who told me they couldn’t do it.”

Rep on Phone: “Well, I didn’t think you’d actually leave. So can I interest you in coming back?”

Me: “No, thank you, and please don’t call again.”

(I still have the new company’s service and have been very happy with it. The old company has never called me again, but they send me junk mail all the time trying to get my business back.)

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