Unfiltered Story #104345

, , | Unfiltered | January 23, 2018

Man paying at checkout spots something. I am on one cash register, the manager is on the other.

Customer “Is that a roach?’

Manager “We don’t have roaches sir.”

Customer “It is, I see it right there.” Gesturing towards the door.

Manager “Sir, we don’t have roaches here. You’re mistaken.”

Customer “Whatever, I know what a roach looks like and that’s a roach.”

The customer pays and leaves. The manager goes over to the door and grabs something off the ground.

Me “What was it?”

Manager “A roach. But we don’t have roaches here.”

Unfiltered Story #104343

, , | Unfiltered | January 23, 2018

(I worked at a hotel’s kitchen doing dish washing and other miscellaneous tasks. One day I was asked to take a trolley cart to go into one of the hotel’s party rooms to clean it out. It was fairly early in the morning, and they have a free breakfast special, so there tends to be a big line up at the restaurant.)

I was walking through the restaurant with my trolley cart when I came to the line up.

Me: Excuse me!
(A very very very large woman who definitely didn’t need the free breakfast gave me a rude look.)
Customer: …Really?

She then waddled like two steps over (which was barely enough room for me to go through) and looked at me like it was the end of the world.

Unfiltered Story #104341

, , | Unfiltered | January 23, 2018

An old man that had no reservation and was a walk in comes to the front desk to check out.

Customer “I won’t be staying at this hotel in the future.”

Me “I’m sorry to hear that sir. What was the problem and how can I correct it?”

Customer “I changed rooms 3 times at check in and in every room my testicles fell into the water when I sat on the toilet. I specifically asked for a handicap room so this wouldn’t happen.”

Me ” I’m sorry to hear that but our hotel only has 2 handicap rooms and those rooms were booked before you arrived last night. When you checked in, did the staff tell you that the handicap rooms were full?”

Customer “Yeah, they told me but I figured you would have at least one room where this wouldn’t happen. I want my money back.”

Me “I’m sorry about the problem, would 20% off your stay work for you?”

Customer “Do you think 20% is fair after my testicles fell into the toilet water in 3 different rooms?”

Me “Sir, the highest discount I can give is 50% without manager approval and he won’t be in for a few hours. Would that satisfy you?”

Customer “Don’t worry about it, I’ll call corporate and get my full refund.”

Me “I’m sorry I couldn’t resolve your problem, have a nice day.”

Customer “Huff”

And She Would Have Gotten Away With It, Too…

, , , , , , | Right | January 22, 2018

(I am a cashier in a popular toy store around the holiday season. One of my coworkers neglects to give a customer two of her many bags, since we often have to place items behind the counter as we bag due to the limited amount of space we have at the register. The customer’s name is written with the bags, and she returns the next day to pick them up.)

Me: “I was told what happened, and I’m very sorry for the inconvenience.”

(The customer seems content with the apology as I hand her the items, but she becomes dismayed as she gives the items a cursory glance.)

Customer: “Where’s my Scooby-Doo mobile?”

Me: “It’s not included in the bags?”

Customer: “No, it’s not in here!”

Me: “Someone may have found it in a bag separate from the others and returned it to the shelf. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No. But I bought it yesterday.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give the item to you if I’m not positive that you bought it with your previous purchase. Let me get my supervisor.”

(The customer grows more and more upset as my supervisor and I discuss what should be done. We’re an express version of this toy store and have very little in-house authority. My supervisor steps away to make a call to headquarters to ask what can be done, as she lacks the authority to give anything away without permission.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I drove all the way back here from [Different County, over an hour away]. This is taking too long. I’ll just buy another one. I can’t believe this.”

(The customer continues to complain while buying another of the missing item. She quickly leaves right before my supervisor returns.)

Supervisor: “Where’d she go? I finally got in touch with corporate and they said we could give her a new one for free.”

Me: “She bought another one, which I’m guessing she was willing to do because she hadn’t actually bought the first one.”

This Joke Only Has One Foot To Stand On

, , , , , , | Friendly | January 22, 2018

(My girlfriend’s a little on the short side, about five-foot-two. Also, as a result of diabetes, she has had her right foot amputated. One day, as I stand up:)

Girlfriend: “When did you get so tall?”

Me: “Well, you did lose a foot.”

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