A confused-looking customer approaches me while I am stocking shelves.

Customer: “Excuse me. I need some help with my mom’s shopping list.”

Me: “Of course! What are you having trouble finding?”

Customer: “Everything.”

I take the list and see the first item is simply apples. I take them to the produce section and point to the fruits.

Customer: “So, which ones are the apples?”

Me: “Uh… right there.” *Points*

Customer: *Blank stare*

I walk them over to the display and physically pick up an apple.

Customer: *Eyes widen* “These are apples?”

Me: *Looking into the mockumentary camera that isn’t there* “…Yes. These are apples.”

The customer then goes to pick up other produce.

Customer: “Apples?”

Me: “No, those are pears.”

Customer: “Pairs of what?”

Me: “Here, let me help you with the rest of that list…”

My boyfriend and I are doing our weekly grocery shop and are next in line at the checkout with our heaping cart of items. The lady currently checking out looks like she stepped out of an online article about “How to Look Like an Incognito Movie Star in a Small Hick Town”. She’s got oversized sunglasses on, a floppy hat, claw-like fake nails, and a bejeweled cell phone she’s clutching at a cocked angle, with someone on speakerphone on the other end. She’s clearly not in a rush, and she has her debit card sticking in the card reader, looking and sounding quite bored while she nonchalantly holds up the line.

Movie Star Lady: *Casually hollering into her phone* “Yeah, baby, I’m at the checkout and the PIN you gave me isn’t working.”

Guy On Phone: “Which card are you using?”

Movie Star Lady: “The one you gave me. I tried [PIN #1] for the PIN, but it didn’t work.”

The cashier, my boyfriend, and I all exchange horrified looks. Yes, this lady just hollered out a PIN for everyone to hear. And remember, she has the guy she’s talking to on speakerphone, so everyone can hear him, too.

Guy On Phone: “That’s my other card. The PIN for the one I gave you is [PIN #2].”

Movie Star Lady: *Loudly repeats the PIN he just told her.* “Are you sure? Because [PIN #2] is the first one I tried, and it didn’t work, so I tried [PIN #1], which didn’t work, either.”

This continues for a bit, and the cashier, my boyfriend, and I are getting a bit agitated at how flippant she’s being about holding up the line while casually yelling out this guy’s legitimate PINs.

The woman finally returns to the card reader to punch in a PIN.

Movie Star Lady: “Okay, I’m trying [PIN #2] right now. Oh, it worked. Okay, because, yeah, I tried [PIN #2] first, and it didn’t work, so that’s why I tried [PIN #1], but yeah, [PIN #2] worked this time.”

She finally got her receipt and her little bag of purchases and sashayed away in her sunglasses and hat, still yapping on her phone. My boyfriend and I exchanged an exasperated giggle while shaking our heads, feeling sorry for that guy and the security risk movie star he’s dating.

A lady came into the store where I work and asked for a pack of cigarettes. When she was asking how much it was, I saw her pull a coupon out of her wallet. This filled me with dread because I know for a fact we don’t accept them and it’s always a hassle explaining that to people, but to my surprise, she decided against using it. I felt relieved.

She told me she would save it for another time when she felt it was worth it to use it, and I ended up telling her that our registers don’t accept them anyway.

Customer: *Matter-of-factly* “No, it’s not that. It’s not that the coupon doesn’t work; it’s that you don’t know how to scan them!”

I was a little surprised.

Me: “Actually, when we scan them, the register tells us that the coupon type isn’t allowed and not to accept it.”

She argued with me, saying, “No, it’s not that,” over and over.

Customer: “Very few people know how to scan them. Talk to your boss. She’s really good at it.”

Customer: “I just don’t waste my time with you cashiers. Most of you barely understand how to do your jobs!”

Customer: “Oh, you’re your boss’s assistant? Well, I guess that means you need to learn how to take my coupons!”

She left, and I verified with my boss later that we, indeed, do not take coupons on cigarettes, but apparently, my boss takes them because the lady is a huge jerk. I at least was happy to know I was correct about our policy.

I work in a library with meeting rooms to rent. Walk-in rooms are only guaranteed for the first two hours; after that, patrons may be asked to leave if the space is requested by someone else. We also have certain rooms that are available to be booked online. Online booking has priority over walk-ins because online booking is limited to once a month.

I have a group asking for a room when we are pretty full. I notice one room that has gone long past its two hours, and I sign it out to the new group. I walk over to the meeting room in question and knock on the door.

Me: “Sorry to bother you, but the room is requested by someone else.”

Patron #1: “Okay. Can we move next door to that other room?”

Me: “I think there are other people in there. The room is signed out.”

Patron #1: “No, I think it’s empty.”

Me: “Let me check.”

I walk over to the meeting room next door. It is indeed empty. 

Me: “You’re right; it is available. Just so you know, that room is available for online booking, so it’s possible someone could book it, and they’d have priority. I do think it’s unlikely this time of night, though.”

Patron #1: “Okay.”

Me: “I’ll sign you up for this other meeting room, then. Thanks.”

I leave and do just that. I’m at the desk for a couple of minutes before a member of the group I have been speaking with approaches me — not the woman I was directly interacting with, but a different group member who watched silently. 

Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

Patron #2: “What’s your name?”

I tell her.

Patron #2: “Are you new here?”

Me: *Baffled* “No…?”

Patron #2: “You were incredibly rude just now.”

Me: “…”

The patron starts walking away. I’m speechless.

Me: *Stammering* “I’m sorry about that.”

It annoys me that I apologized for doing absolutely nothing wrong, but what else do you say to that? Not just rude, but INCREDIBLY so? 

I’ve worked in customer service for about twenty years, and I’ve never had a customer complain about me. Customer service is my strength. This wasn’t my best customer interaction of all time or anything, but it was perfectly normal to me — quite mundane, in fact.

I was an early reader. When I was about four, I was sitting in the back of the car amusing myself, and my parents were engaged in typical adult banter.

Mom: “…you know that she’s P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T.”

Me: *Suddenly paying attention* “Who’s going to have a baby?”

So much for spelling things in front of the K-I-D.