It’s About To Go Postal

, , , | Right | January 23, 2018

(We sell masks for CPAP [continuous positive airway pressure] machines. We allow returns if customers don’t like their masks, but we need to ask why.)

Me: “Hello, and thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need to return a mask.”

(I get her order information and pull up her order.)

Me: “Okay, I see you ordered [Mask]. What seems to be the problem?”

(This mask is designed to go under the nose and over the mouth. It’s a new design of a full-face mask we are really excited about, so we really need feedback whenever it’s returned.)

Customer: “Well, they put a hole over my mouth, and it blows cold air on my mouth and lips. It’s so silly and I don’t like it at all!”

(I’m speechless for a moment because the whole point of the mask is to go over your mouth.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Have you had a full face mask before?”

Customer: “Oh, no. I’ve only had ones that go over my nose! Why would you have one that covers your mouth? It’s so silly!”

(I want this woman off my line, because that is exactly what she purchased, but whatever.)

Me: “Well, that’s a popular style mask, but since you’re unhappy with the purchase, you are able to ship it back for a refund.”

Customer: “You don’t send me a label?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Customers pay for the return shipping; it’s outlined in our return policy.”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Me: “You go to your local post office, tell them the address to ship it to, and they’ll tell you the price.”

Customer: “But I got it through [Parcel Delivery Service]! Shouldn’t I use them?”

Me: “You paid for [Parcel Delivery Service] to deliver to you. You can use any carrier you’d like to send it back to us.”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Me: *repeats* “You go to the store and give them the item, and they’ll give you the price.”

Customer: “It’s that easy?”

Me: “Yup.”

Customer: “Thanks!” *click*

(I think I felt my IQ lower a bit just by talking to this woman.)

Don’t Unleash The Angry Green… Lizard?

, , , , , | Right | January 23, 2018

(We often have professional athletes come into our store, mostly just to look, but occasionally they buy from us. A professional football player adopts a lizard from us. He is very polite and pleasant all the times we do business with him. He lives in California, but is in Massachusetts during the season. When he returns to California, he has trouble bringing the lizard with him, so we board her for him, even reducing the typical price since it is likely going to be for a while. He pays us up-front for the entire first month. However, when we call after the second month, hoping he can pay us what he owes us, things aren’t as pleasant.)

Coworker: “We were hoping you could pay us at least some of what you owe us.”

Customer: “There’s a problem there. I can’t keep the lizard. My dog will kill it.”

Coworker: “Are you sure you don’t want to at least try? You really loved this lizard. We feel bad.”

Customer: “It’s just not going to work.”

Coworker: “Well, we’re sorry to hear that. We can place her in a new home. We just need you to pay what you owe us up until now.”

Customer: “That’s a problem.”

Coworker: “Why is that?”

Customer: “I don’t want to pay it.”

Coworker: *pause* “And why is that?”

Customer: “I don’t want to.”

Coworker: “But we’ve spent all this time caring for her and feeding her. And the lights we use for the set-up cost us money in electric bills.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why I should pay. I don’t want the lizard anymore.”

Coworker: “We can reduce the price, if you could just pay us at least [price].”

Customer: “I’m not happy with this. You’ve only seen my nice side up until now. You don’t want to see me when I’m angry.”

(He really couldn’t seem to understand why he should have to pay us for the services we provided. He argued with the owner, who threatened legal action. Eventually, he paid what we asked, still giving us major attitude and arrogance. We haven’t heard from him since.)

Unfiltered Story #104345

, , | Unfiltered | January 23, 2018

Man paying at checkout spots something. I am on one cash register, the manager is on the other.

Customer “Is that a roach?’

Manager “We don’t have roaches sir.”

Customer “It is, I see it right there.” Gesturing towards the door.

Manager “Sir, we don’t have roaches here. You’re mistaken.”

Customer “Whatever, I know what a roach looks like and that’s a roach.”

The customer pays and leaves. The manager goes over to the door and grabs something off the ground.

Me “What was it?”

Manager “A roach. But we don’t have roaches here.”

Unfiltered Story #104343

, , | Unfiltered | January 23, 2018

(I worked at a hotel’s kitchen doing dish washing and other miscellaneous tasks. One day I was asked to take a trolley cart to go into one of the hotel’s party rooms to clean it out. It was fairly early in the morning, and they have a free breakfast special, so there tends to be a big line up at the restaurant.)

I was walking through the restaurant with my trolley cart when I came to the line up.

Me: Excuse me!
(A very very very large woman who definitely didn’t need the free breakfast gave me a rude look.)
Customer: …Really?

She then waddled like two steps over (which was barely enough room for me to go through) and looked at me like it was the end of the world.

Unfiltered Story #104341

, , | Unfiltered | January 23, 2018

An old man that had no reservation and was a walk in comes to the front desk to check out.

Customer “I won’t be staying at this hotel in the future.”

Me “I’m sorry to hear that sir. What was the problem and how can I correct it?”

Customer “I changed rooms 3 times at check in and in every room my testicles fell into the water when I sat on the toilet. I specifically asked for a handicap room so this wouldn’t happen.”

Me ” I’m sorry to hear that but our hotel only has 2 handicap rooms and those rooms were booked before you arrived last night. When you checked in, did the staff tell you that the handicap rooms were full?”

Customer “Yeah, they told me but I figured you would have at least one room where this wouldn’t happen. I want my money back.”

Me “I’m sorry about the problem, would 20% off your stay work for you?”

Customer “Do you think 20% is fair after my testicles fell into the toilet water in 3 different rooms?”

Me “Sir, the highest discount I can give is 50% without manager approval and he won’t be in for a few hours. Would that satisfy you?”

Customer “Don’t worry about it, I’ll call corporate and get my full refund.”

Me “I’m sorry I couldn’t resolve your problem, have a nice day.”

Customer “Huff”

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