A Haunting Number Of Questions

, , , , , | Right | October 31, 2017

(It’s almost Halloween, and that means we get some crazy questions at our town hall. Most residents call our office for tax collections and treasury and treat it as if we are a general receptionist to field calls. These are the questions we usually get for the Halloween season.)

Customer #1: “When is Halloween?”

Employee: “The 31st.”

Customer #1: “Right, but is it, [day] or [day]?”

(Another fun conversation sample…)

Customer #2: “What time is trick-or-treating?”

Employee: “There isn’t a set time.”

Customer #2: “Well, how am I supposed to know when to go out?”

(And a few more…)

Customer #3: “Are the fireworks going to be at night or during the day?”

Customer #4: “Where can I go to get a trick-or-treating permit?”

Customer #5: “I am taking my kids to go trick-or-treating. Can I get a solicitor’s permit?”

Customer #6: “How much does trick-or-treating cost?”

Drama You Can Put Your Finger On

, , , , , | Learning | October 31, 2017

(My math teacher is known to be a drama queen, and she really doesn’t like me. One day, before math class, my finger gets slammed in a door. As I am quite scared of my math teacher and don’t want to be counted as tardy to her class, I decide to go to her room, and ask for permission to go to the school office and get a bandage. As I get to the room, my finger starts to turn a greenish-purple color. When I go to ask to get a bandage, this happens:)

Teacher: *shows up to the classroom late, after her lunch break* “Okay, everyone, let’s hurry and get this lesson started since we’ve already missed five minutes of class time.”

(I raise my hand.)

Teacher: “Not now. Wait until we start the lesson, and then you can ask.”

(At this point, most of the other kids in my class have noticed, and are now urging me to just leave and go to the nurse. My teacher hears us talking and asks what all the commotion is about. I show her my finger.)

Me: “I got my finger slammed in a door. Can I go to the nurse?”

Teacher: *screams* “Yes! Go, go anywhere. Go to the cafeteria, go to the auditorium; just get out of here. I don’t want to see it.”

(I rushed out of the classroom, almost crying from the pain in my finger. Unfortunately, I ended up having this teacher again in a later year, and she was just as bad.)

The Trailer To A Horror Movie

, , , , , | Working | October 31, 2017

(I am about to move across the country and have reserved a trailer to transport my stuff. I make an appointment to pick it up in two weeks, at a dispatch location run by a different company than the one that owns the trailers. I arrive right when they open to pick up the trailer.)

Desk Person: “I’m sorry; I can’t seem to find your reservation. I’ll have to contact [Trailer Rental Company] to see what is going on.”

(She disappears for a few minutes to make a phone call and comes back looking apologetic.)

Desk Person: “I’m really sorry; they can’t find your reservation, either. They are sending a company rep over to see if they can figure something out. They should be here in about ten minutes.

(Not having any other options, I agree to wait. After an hour, I go back to talk to the desk person.)

Me: “Hey, you guys have [different sized trailers] outside. Those will still work for me. Can I just rent one of those, or at least just get it hooked up, while I wait for this guy?”

(As I am speaking, the company rep shows up behind me.)

Representative:Hey! I don’t know if you’re going to be renting anything today.”

Me: “I reserved a trailer and need to have everything out of my apartment by tomorrow morning.”

Representative: *smugly* “No, you did not make a reservation. We would have gotten it! Now let’s see if we can still rent you something else.”

(While he is talking I pull up my confirmation e-mail on my phone and hand it to him. The smirk slowly falls from his face while he reads it over and types furiously at his tablet, trying to find my reservation info.)

Representative: “Well… um… It seems you did have a reservation, but it got deleted somehow. We can upgrade you to a larger trailer and knock $100 off the price for your trouble.”

Me: “Fine, just hook it up as quickly as you can.”

(If I could have, I would have gone elsewhere, but my plans to leave the next day didn’t give me many options. I would have given back the discount and larger trailer if I could have traded it back for the hour of packing I lost.)

Unfiltered Story #99185

, , , | Unfiltered | October 31, 2017

The Beer Store my Dad works at is wanting to hire a new person. A dolled-up, fancy-dressed woman comes into the store and says, “I see that you’re hiring. Does the job include lifting?”

My Dad just can’t help but think, “Ma’am, it’s a Beer Store… Of course there’ll be heavy lifting.” Of course, all’s he says to her, is, “Yes, Ma’am. That’s about all we do here.”

Her reply is, “Oh, OK, then. I guess this job isn’t for me…”

Silence Of The Teddies

, , , , , , | Related | October 31, 2017

Our grandsons spent the night with us recently. At one point, their play was getting a little rowdy, but not quite to the point I needed to stop whatever was going on. Then, it got quiet, which, as every parent knows, is a sign the kids need to be checked on. Before I could do so, the older boy came running into the living room and dove under a blanket.

A few seconds later, his brother’s voice came from the hall: “Come out now, or I’ll tear this teddy bear’s head off.”

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