Runner Needs To Stop Running And Think

, , , , | Working | December 1, 2017

(I work at a family resort on the weekends as front desk lead. This happens to me starting at around 8:00 pm.)

Me: “Hello, we need a pack-and-play for room 547.”

Runner: “Okay, okay, one second.” *waits five seconds* “What did they want?”

Me: “A pack-and-play.”

Runner: “What’s that? Oh, a crib. Okay, and what room number?”

Me: “547.”

Runner: “All right, a crib to 457.”

Me: “No, it’s 547.”

Runner: “457?”


Runner: “Okay. I got it now.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(One hour later:)

Room 457: “Hello. Someone delivered this crib and we don’t need it.”

Coworker: “Oh, I’m sorry! I’ll let our runner know.” *calls runner* “Hello, 457 called and said they were delivered a rollaway and never ordered one.”

(I’m walking by as this happens, and I’m completely dumbstruck that he STILL delivered the item to 457.)

Runner: “Oh? They don’t want it anymore?”

Me: “He was supposed to deliver it to 547.”

Coworker: “It needs to go to 547. Okay, bye.”

(By this time, 547 has called to complain that their baby wants to sleep and their pack-and-play did not show up. A half hour later, they call back and we call the runner again.)

Runner: *calling from room 557* “Say, what room was that pack-and-thingy supposed to go to?”

Me: *dying inside* “FIVE… FOUR… SEVEN.”

Runner: “Okay.”

(I didn’t receive any more calls after that, so I assume they got it that time.)

Thyroid Void

, | Healthy | December 1, 2017

(I have hypothyroidism, which has been successfully controlled with medication for several years. Over a couple months, however, I notice that some of my symptoms are returning. I call my doctor, and she says she will do a blood test. I go to her office for the results.)

Doctor: “Okay, so your thyroid level is at 4.9.”

(The maximum is five.)

Me: “Well, no wonder I’ve been feeling sick! That’s very high.”

Doctor: “Oh, no. You’re fine. Five is the top of the normal range. You’re still under that.”

Me: “But a lot of my old symptoms are coming back. I can’t sleep at night, I’m tired during the day, I’m freezing cold all the time—”

Doctor: “You’re under stress. It’s normal.”


Doctor: “Well, you just need to go on a diet.”

Me: “I exercise five days a week, and I eat my fruits and veggies! I don’t feel like myself. I know my body, and I need a medication change!”

Doctor: “Well, I’m not giving you one, because you’re normal.”

(She tells me to exercise more and gives me a vitamin supplement. I fume, but take it. A couple months later, I move to a different state. I go in for an appointment with my new doctor.)

New Doctor: “I’ve been reviewing your test results from your previous doctor, and I noticed your thyroid is at 4.9. That’s very high. Are you feeling okay at that number?”

Me: “Not at all! I tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t listen. She kept saying it was normal.”

New Doctor: “I’m not surprised. Older guidelines allow it to get that high, but I’ve found that my patients feel better when their thyroid is at three or under. I’m going to order some more blood work.”

(The new blood test shows that my number skyrocketed to a six. My new doctor changes my medication immediately. It takes a year and three medicine changes to get it right. It turned out that my thyroid number had been creeping up for a couple years, and my old doctor had just ignored it. I’m happy to report that I’m much better now!)

Their Training Must Have Been Comped

, , , , | Working | December 1, 2017

(We have patronized a particular drive-in restaurant in our hometown for some time. The food is good, but the servers aren’t always the most knowledgeable. On a previous visit, the server forgot some side ingredients for my wife’s taco salad, so they wrote in their book that we were to receive a free one on our next visit. At our next visit:)

Server: *bringing our food to our car* “Okay, your total is [total].”

Me: “And that’s with the taco salad comped, correct?”

Server: *looking at receipt* “Yes!”

(I pay and receive the food and receipt. She leaves, and only then do I notice that we’ve paid for the taco salad. I go back in the restaurant and find the server.)

Me: “I thought you said the taco salad had been comped?”

Server: “It was! See, it’s listed right there on the receipt!” *pointing to the line where the item was listed at its regular price*

Me: “No, it’s supposed to be no charge.”

Server: “Oh… is that what ‘comped’ means? I thought you were asking if you’d ordered it!”

It Takes More Than Money To Clear A Bill

, , , | Healthy | December 1, 2017

(I get about a $3,000 bill from a doctor I had seen several months prior. I am confused because I know my insurance had paid it. I call the billing dept. but get no answer and leave a message. I forget about it until the next month when the bill comes again. Once again, I call, leave a message, and forget about it. Then I get a letter threatening to send me to a collection agency. I call my insurance company to double check. They tell me that not only have they paid it, but had a duplicate charge under a different account number that was of course denied. I start calling every other day. The office phones aren’t open until 10 am and they shut them down at 3:30 pm. I either get a recording and leave a message or the receptionist tells me everyone is in a meeting. This goes on for over three weeks. Then I get another threatening letter. I even go to the office in person but am told everyone is in a meeting and no one can talk to me. At this point I have had it. I wait until 10 pm at night. I call and get the voicemail system. When it says press “1” for nurse, I do so and leave a detailed, angry message that NO ONE will return my calls, I am being threatened with being sent to a collection agency for a bill that was paid, and someone better call me back or I am filing fraud charges with the insurance company and talking to a lawyer. I hang up and call back and do it again after pressing a number for a different department. I go through the entire employee directory. I do this for almost two hours and leave dozens of messages on EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE’S voicemail. I then call the doctor’s emergency after-hours line and leave the same message there. The next morning, at 10:01, I call the office. The receptionist recognizes my voice.)

Receptionist: “Yes, ma’am, I have the office manager here for you” *transfers me*

Manager: “Good morning, Mrs. [My Name]. I was just about to call you.”

Me: “Yeah, I bet you were.”

Manager: *sheepishly* “Yeah, everyone is talking about the messages you left, especially the doctor.”

Me: “Well, it’s not like you left me much choice.”

(She apologizes and explains. The guy who was handling the bills was creating fake patient accounts and double billing the insurance companies. Most didn’t catch it, paid the doctor, and then the guy stole the money. They fired him but have such a paperwork mess to clean up and had to gather the evidence to convict him that they didn’t have time to call the patients.)

Me: “I understand, but that is no excuse. You are sending me letters threatening to send me to a collection agency.”

Manager: “What?! Crap, the computers are printing those out automatically. We didn’t know any had been mailed out.”

Me: “Yeah, well they are and you better start answering these calls because you have some very peeved off patients who, like me, are calling lawyers.”

(She apologized again and told me that my account had been cleared up. I wonder, though, about all the others who just kept calling and getting nowhere.)

Made A Grave Mistake

, , , , , | Right | December 1, 2017

(This exchange takes place during my first year managing a particular cemetery. We have a policy, posted on the gate to the cemetery and printed on the back of cemetery maps, that people may decorate graves for holidays/special occasions, but that decorations will be removed a week after the holiday and disposed of. Although it isn’t posted policy, we also store the removed items outside the workshop for about a week before throwing them out. People who have been visiting the cemetery a long time know about the unofficial policy, so they’re not always quick to get decorations they want to keep off the graves, and may drop by to root around in the “decorations heap” to retrieve their items. We never guarantee their things will be there.)

Customer: “What happened to the Christmas decorations on my husband’s grave?”

Me: “We remove holiday decorations a week after the holiday, ma’am.”

Customer: “How is anyone supposed to know that?”

Me: “It is posted policy, ma’am. The sign at the entrance to the cemetery explains it, and we do recommend not placing items you want to keep in the cemetery.”

Customer: “I spent a lot of money on those decorations! I spent a lot of money and time, and you’re going to reimburse me for them!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry you’re upset, but it is cemetery policy to remove the holiday decorations a week after the holiday. We’re not going to reimburse you.”

Customer: “Oh, yes you are! I spent over $200 on my decorations, and they were removed, and I want them back! Where are they?”

Me: “Items left in the cemetery are disposed of, ma’am.”

Customer: “You threw them AWAY?! Where are they? You used to put decorations somewhere out back so people could get them!”

(As that was never posted policy, she wouldn’t know about it unless she’d been decorating the grave, and having her items removed, for years, so our “items are disposed of” policy could not have been a surprise to her.)

Me: “We did store them, ma’am. We kept all removed decorations out back for two weeks before disposing of them. We also didn’t take the decorations down for two weeks this year, instead of the single week that is our posted policy, so there were actually four full weeks you could have come retrieved your items before they were thrown away.”

Customer: “But it’s still the holidays! Other people still have holiday decorations up!”

Me: “We don’t prevent people from redecorating graves, ma’am, but those decorations will also be removed. And as our posted policy says, we remove holiday decorations a week after the holiday.”

Customer: “Just where is this policy posted?”

Me: *getting very tired of repeating myself* “At the gate to the cemetery, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, I celebrate the holidays through the end of January, so it is still the holidays, and you took my things down, and you will reimburse me!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am, but it’s several weeks past Christmas and we will not be reimbursing you.”

Customer: “Well, you’re going to be sorry! I’m going to write a letter of complaint! You have serious problems here. I’ve had things removed, and things have been stolen before, and you have no security here—”

Me: *fed up* “Yes, ma’am, because this is a cemetery, not a bank.”

(Naturally, the customer was furious with me and stormed out. I mentioned the exchange to one of the cemetery owners, who was my boss, just in case the customer called or wrote the owners to complain about me. The owner just rolled her eyes and said she knew exactly who I was talking about, and that she complains like that every year!)

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