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Prank Calling From China

, , , , | Friendly | November 11, 2019

(I’m sitting in a park with my mom, playing with my phone, when I get a call from an unknown number. As I never get calls, I answer out of curiosity.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: *very clearly a child* “Hi, yeah. You just won a trip to Paris.”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Caller: “Yeah, and you have to go to China to get the tickets.”

(I think to myself, “Wow, what a creative prank call,” and decide to call them out on their attempt.)

Me: “Mhm. Since you have my number, I will guess this is one of the little kids from [Local Pokemon Go Chat Group].”

(To my surprise, the kid on the other end starts spewing out the foulest string of insults a person could muster. I wait a few minutes, turning to look at my mother staring confusedly at me.)

Me:And since I now have your number, I will be calling the police.”

Caller: *click*

(I started explaining to my mom what was happening, and not ten seconds later, I got a text that read, “We are sorry. Please don’t call the cops! It was just a joke and it was my friend, anyway.” We laughed all the way home.)

Hard To Love A Morning Person

, , , | Romantic | October 25, 2018

(I am chatting with my girlfriend while she’s in her psychology class.)

Girlfriend: “According to Freud, being in love is loving yourself, projected onto an object.”

Me: “Well, in that case, I love myself a lot.”

(I expect her to reply the same, but instead:)

Girlfriend: “In my case, it depends of the mood I get up with. I don’t love myself very much.”

Me: “…”