Hopefully It’s Only The Call That Dropped

, , , , , | Working | November 13, 2017

(I’m a student living on the top floor of a nice dorm. “Nice dorm” means nice elevators with functioning emergency call buttons. One day, I’m riding the elevator down when the emergency call button blinks, along with a ringing sound.)

Me: “No way.”

(I push the call button.)

Caller: “Hi!”

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Is this [Female Name]?”

Me: *definitely male voice* “No.”

Caller: “When will [Female Name] be in?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “This is an elevator.”

Caller: *long pause* “I’m sorry?”

Me: “You called an elevator. There is no [Female Name] here.”

Caller: *click*

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Unable To See The Weight Of The Matter

, , , , | Friendly | August 30, 2017

(I’ve just gotten out of the hospital for a busted appendix. I’ve been in the hospital for about a week due to complications, and before that I was walking around with an inflamed appendix for another five days. This means I haven’t had a real meal or solid food for almost two weeks, since I was too nauseous before going to the hospital to eat much. As a result, I’ve lost quite a bit of weight, and I didn’t have all that much to spare. I’m returning to my dorm, where a friend, who visited me in the hospital, lives across the hall from me.)

Me: *opening the door to my room*

Friend: *hears from her room and pops out of her room* “Hi! You’re back! How are you feeling?”

Me: “Pretty good! I’m still in some pain, but I’ve got medicine.”

Friend: “Wow! You lost a lot of weight!”

Me: “Yeah, well, I haven’t really eaten any solid food in two weeks.”

Friend: “Good job! You look great!” *goes back in room and shuts door*

Me: *speechless*

(I don’t know if she wasn’t paying attention or was actually promoting anorexia, but it soon became clear she had some other problems and we drifted apart. Probably for the best.)

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Unfiltered Story #91949

, | Unfiltered | August 25, 2017

My friends and I had just come in from a night out, and a bunch of them head to the sub shop on campus. I headed back to my dorm first to drop off something, and decided to grab a can of pop to drink on my way to meet them. As we were heading back to our dorm with our sandwiches, I proceeded to discard my can into a big trolley that we had been told was for recycling while they were awaiting for bins to be delivered. Shortly afterwards, a girl comes up to me and I think she’s a friend of a friend at first.

RA: All right, so it was you who had the open can of alcohol. What’s your name?

I then notice the notepad in her hand and realize she is an RA about to write me up.

Me: No, I had a can of pop that I was drinking.

RA: I know what I saw, you had an open can of beer.

Me: Uh, no. I’m sorry, it was a can of Diet Coke. I can show it to you if you want?

RA: Yes, lets go back and see it.

Me: *thinking* seriously? *saying* Fine.

The whole walk back she was super smug and I think she thought I was too drunk to realize what I was drinking. Joke was on her, because, when we got up to the trolley, my can of Diet Coke was the only one there and I proudly pointed at it. I saw her face turn red but she was determined to write me up for something.

RA: Well, you shouldn’t discard your trash in there. That’s very rude and disrespectful, this isn’t meant for recycling.

Me: Oh, I’m sorry, I was told we were supposed to put any recycling in there until the shop received their new recycling bins from the university. Did they get their new bins?

RA: What are you talking about? They’ve always had recycling bins. They’re right….

That’s when she realized there weren’t any around, and talked to the staff at the shop to confirm the trolley was to be used for recycling. I offered to remove the can if it was a problem, but the death stare she gave me just told me to let it go.

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