(I participate in a quiz competition in a group of four. We win by the highest margin with only one incorrect answer out of about 60 or so. This happens during the last round of ‘Rapid Fire’ where a person is chosen as a representative from each team and has to answer 10 questions in a minute.)
Quiz Master: “Name the fastest two-legged animal on the planet.”
Me: “Usain Bolt.”
(Yeah, not my greatest moment.)
(I am originally from Italy and moved to Dubai around four years ago. I have an Italian credit card that I only use when travelling or if there is some kind of emergency. My local debit card got stolen, and until I have a new one, I need to get some cash from my credit card. The ATM tells me that the card has been blocked and I need to contact my bank. So I do. After going through all the verification, the call center agent asks me how he can help me and I explain the story.)
Me: “So, I would just need you to unblock my credit card, because there is no ‘suspicious activity.’ It was just me.”
Agent: “Unfortunately, once the card is blocked, I cannot unblock it. You will need to go to your bank and request a new one.”
Me: “But I can’t. I don’t live in Italy anymore.” *quickly thinking about the possibilities I have* “But it’s okay; I will send my mum to the bank.”
Agent: “All right, and just so it doesn’t happen anymore, is it all right if I update your address?”
Me: “That would be great. I live at [address], in Dubai.”
Agent: “I am sorry, where?”
Me: “In Dubai. UAE.”
Agent: “Could you spell that for me?”
Me: *dumbfounded* “Umm, that’s D-U-B-A-I.”
Agent: “What region is that in?”
Me: “It’s a city in the UAE.”
Agent: “Yes, but what region? Tuscany, Emilia-Romagna…?”
Me: “Never mind. I will ask my mother to do it at the bank. Thank you very much.”
(It was eventually changed, but I could just not wrap my head around how after the entire conversation I had and all the information he got on his screen, he still thought I was in Italy. And he had never heard of Dubai or the UAE.)
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(I am 18 and a frequent traveler, mostly by flight. Since a very young age, I avoid eating on flights, as I get nausea in the air and the food just increases it. There have been incidents of me vomiting, so normally I eat before I board the flight. I am on a five-hour flight and I skipped having my lunch due to late boarding. The time comes when they distribute food.)
Flight Attendant: “Hello there, how’s it going? Would you like our vegetarian or non-vegetarian option?”
Me: “No, thank you; I don’t eat on flights.”
Flight Attendant: “Oh… well, why is that? Is there something else you would like to eat or anything that I can help you out with?”
Me: “No, it’s not that; I feel nauseous with flight food and I’d probably puke if I ate food on flight. I didn’t even eat before coming to the flight, and my nauseousness is just increasing.”
Flight Attendant: “Oh, well, I’m sorry to hear that but I can’t leave you without you eating something. It’s a five-hour flight! Oh wait… I have a solution!”
Me: “What is it?”
Flight Attendant: “Since you mentioned you feel nauseous, here’s some ginger ale; sip on it and it will help you feel better. Here’s a snack mix. Have this whilst sipping on the ale. I’ll get you something small once you’re done with that.”
(She then kept checking on me EVERY 30 minutes and kept giving me small snack mixes and two more ginger ales and I couldn’t have thanked her more. These air hostesses work for long hours yet they manage to keep their chirpiness alive!)
(I work in a gaming centre in the Middle East. Each of our customers has a username and a password. One day a customer comes in and sits in front of a computer and, after about five seconds, he calls me in a very urgent tone.)
Customer: “[My Name]!”
Me: “Yes, sir, do you have any problems?”
Customer: “I can’t login. I am not able to type my password. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”
(I type some alphabets in the password field and it seems to work fine.)
Customer: “My password is a number. I am not able to type numbers. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”
(I type the numbers that are above the alphabets in the keyboard and again it works fine.)
Customer: *points to the number pad in the keyboard* “I am not able to type numbers from here. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”
(I notice the number lock is off. I switch it on and start typing using the number pad.)
Customer: *blank stare*
(Back story: our local government has banned Grand Theft Auto 4, but this was never publicly announced. I put up a sign that said in big letters “GTA IV IS BANNED AND IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR SALE”.)
Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I wanna buy Grand Theft Auto 4.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that game is unavailable as it is banned in Dubai.”
Customer: “So… how much?”
Me: “It’s banned. You can’t buy it in the country.”
Customer: “Ahh, wait, I see the sign. Sorry, I didn’t notice it before…”
(He spends several minutes studying the sign intently.)
Customer: “Can you reserve a copy for me or what?”
Me: “Sir, you cannot buy it. If I even had a copy and sold it to you, it would be illegal… do you understand?”
Customer: “So, I can’t buy it?”
Me: “That’s correct.”
Customer: “Well, I think you’re keeping it for yourself!”
Another Customer: “Hey why don’t you just leave? The guy said you can’t buy one and the huge sign explains why you can’t.”
Customer: “Look f***er! I just want the game so give it to me before I seriously hurt you!”
Me: “Just piss off, alright? I don’t have it and I wouldn’t sell it to a prick like you anyway. Now get out of my shop!”
(The other customers in line applaud and cheer.)
Customer: “Well gee, sorry… you don’t have to be so rude!” *walks out*
(My blood pressure is just returning to normal when the original customer suddenly runs in COMPLETELY NAKED. Before we can react he grabs a Guitar Hero 3 guitar that is on display and proceeds to HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH IT. My customers in line jump him and we eventually subdue him. We call the police and he was never seen again. I lost 1000 dollars worth (about 3000 dirhams, our local currency) in broken merchandise.)
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