A Not So Pregnant Pause For Thought

, , , | Right | November 25, 2010

Customer: “Can I have an adult and two students for [Film]?”

(The film is rated ‘15’, and the two children with her look like they might not be old enough.)

Me: “Can I just ask your dates of birth?”

First Child: “September 1995.”

Second Child: “Umm…”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t sell you the tickets as your son can’t give me a date of birth to confirm he is 15.”

Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! He was born in August 1995. They’re my children. I think I know how old they are! Now will you sell us the tickets!”

Me: “Wait, they’re both your children?”

Customer: *annoyed* “Yes!”

Me: “And they were only born a month apart?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “You have to be pregnant for nine months.”

Customer: “Yes! So?” *realises*

(The customer swore and walked off.)

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Happy Hour, Right Day, Wrong Year

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2010

Customer: “Is it true that you give out free drinks on people’s birthdays?”

Me: “It’s true we’ll give you one free drink, yes, but I need to see your ID to confirm it’s your birthday.”

Customer: *hands over ID*

Me: “Yeah, it’s your birthday. Pity you can’t legally drink ’til your next one.”

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Piercing Observation

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2010

(I’m approached by what looks to be a teenager and a younger child.)

Teenager: “Hello. My daughter would like to get her belly button pierced.”

Me: “Did the man at the front check your ID?”

Teenager: “No.”

Me: “I’m going to have to.”

(I see that he is seventeen years old.)

Me: “Sir, this ID shows that you’re even younger than me. How old are you?”

Younger Child: “Eleven.”

Me: “So, she’s eleven?”

Teenager: “Yes.”

Me: “And you’re seventeen?”

Teenager: “Yes.”

Me: “So you had her when you were six?”

*long pause*

Younger Child: “I told you it wouldn’t work, dumba**!”

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Not So Sharp

, , | Right | May 17, 2010

(It is 2010.)

Caller: “Hi, I asked you to pierce my daughter’s ears earlier, but apparently you won’t do it. I think that’s unacceptable!”

(Note: the caller sounds about 14.)

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry about that. If I can just confirm some details with you, I’ll note it down and you can send her back in. Can I get her name and date of birth?”

(The caller confirms the name, and the date of birth as the 10th April 1996.)

Me: “And can I confirm your date of birth please?”

Caller: “The 12th, of September 1996.”

Me: “…1996?”

Caller: *hangs up*

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Hair Apparent

, , , , , | Right | May 5, 2010

(Two guys around 15 years old show up.)

Customer #1: “Hey, can I get one ticket to [Movie]?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll just need to see a piece of ID, please.”

Customer #1: “Oh, dang. I don’t have any ID.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t sell you a ticket. It is an adult-only movie.”

Customer #1: “Can’t you just let us in anyway?”

Me: “Sorry, not without ID.”

Customer #1: “Well, hey, will this work?” *pulls out student ID card to a local high school*

Me: “It doesn’t have your birthdate on it, so, no, it won’t.

Customer #2: “Well, can we pay you to let us in?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, we’ve got money.”

Me: *laughs* “Sorry, no.”

(Ten minutes later, they return with [Customer #1] holding his finger above his upper lip.)

Customer #1: “Hey, I’ve got a mustache. Now can I have one to [Movie]?”

Me: “No.”

Customer #2: “See, I told you that wouldn’t work!”

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