I work the door at a bar/club on weekends. Two university students come in. One seems fine but the other one is looking around nervously.

Me: “Can I see your IDs, please?”

The calm one starts reaching for his wallet.

Nervous Student: *At the top of his lungs* “I’M UNDERAGE!”

And he runs out. The remaining student rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and then wanders out after his friend.

My cousin, age ten, and I, age seven, went to the local grocery store to get some stuff for my mom. She had (jokingly) added “a six-pack of cold beer” to the shopping list.

My cousin and I arrived at the checkout lane, and the nice lady told us:

Cashier: “I’m afraid you can’t buy beer because you’re under eighteen years of age.”

I did a bit of quick math.

Me: “But, we are seventeen together. You can overlook one year, can’t you?”

The checkout lady smiled and shook her head. The other people near the counter chuckled. We were embarrassed and returned the beer to the shelf.

Arriving home, we told the tale to my mom and cousin’s mom. They had big grins and told us they were joking and just wanted to see what would happen.

I grumpily replied, something like:

Me: “Well, the beer wasn’t cold, anyway.”

The creepiest customer I’ve ever had was at a tech support company about seven years ago when I did tech support for a company that provided free online apps across the globe. They needed help finding some files on their account.

User: “So, how old do you have to be to work there? You sound twelve!”

Me: *Laughs* “Oh, yes! I get that a lot. Definitely not twelve.”

User: “I don’t believe you! Are you single?”

Me: “Uh… married with a kid.”

User: “No, you’re not. You’re only twelve. You sound hot. You should go out with me.”

To make it worse, they either had that smoker’s voice people get or they were in their sixties. Their tone of voice was that one that creeps get when they think they’re being sexy but it’s all cringe.

There’s a local club I’ve been going to for years, and I’ve ended up friends with most of the staff (and worked the odd shift when they need extra cover), so sometimes when I’m not up to anything else, I’ll end up going there just to hang out in the staff areas and grab them coffee.

This particular evening, there’s a Drum ‘N Bass event on, and the club is filling up quickly. As my friends have become busy serving drinks, I head out front to have a cigarette and chat with the bouncers. A group of fairly young-looking people walks up to the door, and the bouncers ask them all for ID before they can enter. Most of the group show their ID and head straight in without issue, but there’s one girl who doesn’t have any ID on her. Her friends have already gone inside and left her behind, and she’s clearly desperate to join them. She tries to persuade the bouncers to make an exception, with no luck; the rules are strict. Eventually, her pleading reaches this hilarious stage.

Girl: “Can I show you my Facebook profile? That’s got my age on!”

The bouncers and I shared a look of disbelief and she was told that, no, that would not count as legal identification.

I was feeling a bit bad for her at this point because her friends, including her boyfriend, just left her behind and hadn’t come back to check on her, so I decided to kindly explain to her that the repercussions of the club letting her in without ID could lead to the venue being closed down and the staff losing their jobs, which is why they really couldn’t make an exception. She still seemed upset about being left behind by her friends, as the only one that did end up coming back to check on her just shrugged and went back in, but she wasn’t arguing with the bouncers anymore and understood that she was not getting in. I chatted with her a little more and she left.

Apparently, this was the first time the bouncers had been offered a Facebook profile as proof of age. We had a laugh about it, but honestly, I think her friends were also pretty crappy for just abandoning her.

The salon where I work offers complimentary glasses of wine and champagne to patrons receiving services so long as they are of legal drinking age and can prove it with ID if we ask. We offer water and sometimes soda as an alternative or if the patrons are younger. I am working on a young client, possibly in her late teens. She sees one of my coworkers take out a bottle of wine and pour a few glasses.

Client: “Excuse me, is that alcohol?”

Me: “Yes. It’s white wine.”

Client: “How much is it?”

Me: “We actually offer it free of charge, so long as—”

Client: *Cutting me off* “And do you have to be twenty-one?”

Me: “Yes. You can only drink it if you’re twenty-one.”

I don’t know what would make her think that she, as a minor, would be excluded from purchasing and consuming alcohol from a grocery store, bar, liquor store, public event, parties, and everything in between due to age restrictions according to law but would easily be able to enjoy it in a random nail salon without consequence.