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Trouble’s A Cold Callin’

, , , | Right | February 7, 2011

It is 2011:

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Company Name]. I’m calling to see if you would be willing to take part in a survey about the recent swine flu outbreak?”

Woman: “This is a Sunday morning. How dare you call me?!”

Me: “I’m very sorry to have bothered you.”

Woman: “Give me your number and we’ll see how you like being called on a Sunday morning.”

Me: “Ma’am, I work on a Sunday morning. You can call, but I won’t be there.”

When Flippers Attack

, , , | Right | February 3, 2011

Child: “Mum, what’s that?” *points to dolphin skeleton*

Mother: “That’s a dolphin, dear. It eats people.”

Please, Take A Crap

, , , | Right | January 31, 2011

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a crap, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: “I’d like a crap with sugar and lemon, please.”

Me: “Oh, I see! A crepe with sugar and lemon.”

Customer: “Yes, that’s what I said. A crap with sugar and lemon!”

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

, , | Right | January 30, 2011

(I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two young boys are ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

(The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

(The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

Mother: *to me and the pharmacist* “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

This story is part of the Adorable Kids roundup!

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That’s A Very Good Point

, , , , | Right | January 26, 2011

Customer #1: “What size needles do I need to use?”

Customer #2: “Well, it depends on the tension of your knitting.”

Customer #1: “Oh, I’m quite loose.”

Customer #2: *laughs* “I wouldn’t say that in this town. You might get in trouble.”