(I’m the customer, paying for a £1.49 pack of greetings cards. I hand my coins, £1 + 50p + 5p + 2p + 1p + 1p, to the cashier.)

Me: “Here’s £1.59.”

Another Customer: *in a tone that says, “You moron!”* “He said £1.49. Why are you giving him £1.59?”

Me: *answering factually, as if it were a genuine question* “He’ll give me 10p change. I’ll have fewer coins in my pocket, and he’ll have some change for other customers.”

Cashier: *handing me 10p* “I wish more customers were like you.”

Pupil: “Sir, is it true you can get high off sniffing the glue?”

Me: “Um, certainly not from the glue we use in school. And, do you know what ‘getting high’ means?”

Pupil: “Yes. My mummy said she tried sniffing glue once and got high, and now she can’t remember what she did in her twenties.”

Me: “I… see. Well, you’re at no risk of that happening here.”

Pupil: “That’s good.” *goes back to arts and crafts*

(I was concerned after the conversation, so I notified the school nurse. Now the pupil talks about how he goes to see his mum “at the hospital,” and how he isn’t allowed to hug her because she’s restrained.)

This story is part of the Teacher Appreciation 2023 roundup!

Read the next Teacher Appreciation 2023 roundup story!

Read the Teacher Appreciation 2023 roundup!

(My friends and I are at a pizza restaurant. We’re all students, so we don’t have loads of money to spare.)

Friend: “Could I get the chicken pizza vita, please?”

(They are half-size pizzas which come with a side salad.)

Waiter: “That won’t be enough to fill you up! Have a look at the classic pizzas.”

(He points at the more expensive classic pizzas.)

Friend: “Okay, I’ll have the classic margherita, then, please.”

(The waiter walks away.)

Friend: “Wow, he managed to upsell me a less expensive pizza.”

(Our meal is good, and we decide to look at the dessert menu. We see they do sets of three “mini” desserts, which seems like a good option for the three of us.)

Waiter: “They’re very mini, too small to share. You need to look at these full-size desserts!”

Me: “We’d like the mini desserts, please.”

Waiter: “You need three sets, though. They’re too small to just have one each!”

Me: “Okay, never mind. We’ll just get the bill, then, please.”

(I am a lecturer, getting a coffee from a local café. I get a call from one of my students while waiting in line.)

Student: “[My Name], I need to miss today’s lecture. My son’s been in an accident and I need to go to hospital.”

Me: “Your son?”

Student: “Yes. I’ve been told he’s critical. He might die. I’m so terrified.” *starts sobbing*

Me: “Um…”

(I put the phone to my chest and tap the shoulder of a man further down the line, waiting with his son. He turns around and smiles. I hand my phone to him. He sees his wife’s name on the screen.)

Student’s Husband: *confused* “Hello, [Student]? Why are you phoning [My Name]? Huh, she hung up.” *handing the phone back* “What’s going on?”

Me: “I’ll let her explain.”

(She later dropped out of my module, but I still see her around campus. I’ve seen her husband and their only son from time to time, as well, but since he hasn’t mentioned anything about the call, I assume she hasn’t told him.)

(I’m working behind the counter at a bookstore. My mother and severely autistic brother have come in to check my scheduled lunch times so we can meet later. A customer comes up to the counter with a novelty cookbook, called “The Marmite Cookbook.” Marmite is extremely popular in the UK. It is a yeast extract product that you either love or hate. It has an extremely potent taste.)

Brother: “Marmite! Marmite! MARMITE!”

Customer: “I take it that you like marmite, young man?”

Brother: “MARMITE!”

Mother: “Sorry about that; he can get a bit loud when he’s excited.”

Customer: “It’s okay.” *turns to brother* “Do you want to know a secret?”

Brother: “Marmite.” *it’s one of the only three words he likes to say*

Customer: “I love marmite, too!”

(The man proceeds to open his rucksack and he pulls out a bar of chocolate.)

Customer: “Is this okay?”

(My mother nods yes, and turns over the chocolate bar. It’s a marmite chocolate bar, something I have never seen before. My brother throws himself at the man in a hug and my mother starts crying.)

Customer: “Are you okay, ma’am?”

(My mother then explained that my brother had never initiated a hug, in his life. My mum and I both blubbered like babies and thanked the man. Thank you to the kind stranger that took five minutes to speak to my brother, even though at 6’4”, loud. and autistic, people can find him intimidating!)