Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em

, , | Right | February 12, 2008

Customer: “Uh, yes, I need the grey paint for the carpet. Which one is best for the carpet?”

Me: “Sir, we do not have a paint for carpet.”

Customer: “Yes, yes. No… no. You do not understand… see, I need to paint carpet, yes? You tell me which one. Yes, yes?”

Me: “Sir, like I said, it is not advisable to paint your carpet. It will harden and you will not be able to remove it, so I cannot recommend a product at this time.”

Customer: “No, no, you see wrong. I paint floor of car. It is very cheap, I like to paint the carpet, it is cheap, yes? So which one, which one?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t think you understand me when I tell you that it is not possible to spray paint carpet. You may dye it, or you may try to remove the stain. I could show you where–”

*customer cuts me off*

Customer: “No, no, you see, I need paint. For carpet, yes? And you show me which one. Yes? We do this now.”

Me: “…okay. Try that grey one over there.”

Customer: “Is it good for carpet?”

Me: *blank stare*

*pause*

Me: “Sure, why not?”

Customer: “Yes, yes, thank you!”

Me: *sigh*

1 Thumbs
1,881

Good, Because Beagles Don’t Like Fridges

, , | Right | February 11, 2008

(This guy with a thick Bosnian accent comes up to me.)

Customer: “I am looking for beekels.”

Me: “Beekels?”

Customer: “Okay…”

(I show him where are the bagels are.)

Customer: “No, Not bread. Beekles.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “The kind you put in fridge.”

Me: “Oh.”

(I go to the freezers and show him the frozen bagels.)

Customer: “NO! NOT BREAD! BEEKLES!”

Me: “I can’t… I don’t know… uh…”

(He walks away. A few Aisles away he sees it and picks up.)

Customer: “This is what I was looking for.”

Me: “Oh, pickles…”

1 Thumbs
1,609

If Only It Grew On Trees, Part 2

, , | Right | February 8, 2008

(I work in a local government call centre and take calls from the residents about all kinds of things–including education.)

Customer: “Hi, I got your booklet about the school meals and it said I can get a grant for clothing.”

Me: “That would be the school uniform grant. Could I take yours and your child’s details? I can send you an application form.”

Customer: “I don’t have kids, can’t I have the money for myself? I’m on income support.”

Me: “The grant is for the school uniform, sir, and it is only available for children.”

Customer: “So I can’t have the money for myself?”

Me: “Um… no.”

Customer: “For f***’s sake!” *hangs up*

(I wasn’t sure if he wanted the money for normal clothes, or wanted to buy himself an actual school uniform.)

Related
If Only It Grew On Trees

1 Thumbs
1,215

Easily Puzzled

, , | Right | February 5, 2008

Me: “[Frame Shop], how can I help you?”

Lady: “Hi. I have a problem with a mat I ordered.”

Me: “What is the problem?”

Lady: “Well, I wanted the mat to fit over a puzzle and on the puzzle box it says it is supposed to be 20″ by 28″, so that is what we ordered.”

Me: “Okay.”

Lady: “But I am putting the puzzle together and it is only 20″ by 23″.”

Me: “Well, if there is a problem I can always re-order the mat for you…”

Lady: “But the puzzle is supposed to be 20″ by 28″! Now it won’t fit in the frame I bought from you!”

Me: “Do you have the puzzle all put together?”

Lady: “No, not yet.”

Me: “…then how did you measure it?”

Lady: “I measured the edges!”

Me: “Are there any pieces with flat sides left?”

Lady: “Yes, but they don’t fit.”

Me: “Hmm, I see….”

(I spend the next fifteen minutes trying to explain to the customer that all of the flat pieces belong on the edges of the puzzle, without offending her or snickering.)

1 Thumbs
1,746

Gluttony Or Gluttony

, | Right | January 27, 2008

Customer: “Can I have the giant Yorkshire Pudding?”

Me: “Sure, would you like it served with Beef or Pork?”

Customer: “Yes, I’ll have beef or pork.”

Me: “No, would you like Beef OR Pork?”

Customer: “YES, beef or pork!”


This story is part of our Customers With Super-Vague Requests roundup!

Read the next story in this roundup!

Read the Super-Vague Requests roundup!

1 Thumbs
1,507