I took a first aid course with a friend. We had completed most of the course when the tutor announced she was going to show us some photographs of “uncommon” injuries to see how we would treat them. She stressed we would be unlikely to encounter them but wanted to see how we would apply our new knowledge.

First photo: we suggested treatment, discussed it a bit, all okay.

Second photo: exactly the injury my mum had a couple of years ago.

Third photo: the same injury my friend’s son had last year.

Fourth photo (according to the tutor, a very rare one): something my husband did a few years back.

I think we slightly screwed up the tutor’s lesson plan.

I am cabin crew (steward) for a UK based airline, and overall, things don’t really bother me that much. I do believe that people can’t be the personalities they display during the flights, as often common sense is not applied.

Naturally, you get the same reply ‘what do you have’ when you’re asking them what they’d like to drink. I don’t mention the whole contents of the bar anymore, knowing that another 50 passengers are going to ask me the same question, always ending up asking for a soda or a glass of water in the end, so now I just reply what they usually have around this time of day.

One occasion still stands clear though, and I’m still as baffled as the day it happened. I was working in first class and a female passenger, around my own age, asked me for a coffee with cream. Nothing unusual, except for the fact that we don’t carry cream and only have plain milk, and so I replied that unfortunately, it had to be milk. Her reply to me was, “why don’t you go into the toilet and make me some cream.”

I was gobsmacked, didn’t know what to reply, felt like saying that with her face on my retina it was not going to be possible, but reconsidered and just walked off.

Obviously she thought that she was being funny but it was the most outrageous and disgusting comment I have ever witnessed. Clearly money can’t buy manners.

This story is part of our Terrible Airline Passengers roundup!

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(My right hand was amputated when I was a baby. My school isn’t told before I start there as there isn’t really anything I can’t do with one hand. I am eleven years old, on my first day at my new secondary school.)

Teacher: “Can everyone write their full names on their homework planners, please?”

(The class does.)

Teacher: “Can we be doing this with our rights hands, please? We do things properly at this school.”

(We all look up in confusion, then carry on exactly as we were.)

Teacher: *pointing at me* “I said, ‘right hand!’“

Me: *holding up right arm* “I’m sorry, miss, but I don’t have a right hand.”

Teacher: “Stop being silly and write with your right hand.”

(I rotate my arm to show the front and back of my forearm.)

Me: “I’m really sorry, miss, but I don’t have a right hand; it was amputated when I was a baby.”

Teacher: “Then go and sit outside the Headmaster’s office. I will not have your defiance in my classroom.”

(I gather my things and leave, very confused as to what I have done wrong. The Headmaster calls me into his office and I explains why I am there.)

Headmaster: “So, you don’t have a right hand, and were told to use your right hand… which you don’t have?”

Me: “Pretty much.”

Headmaster: “Well, we can tape the pen to the end of your arm, I suppose. Yes, that is better than this left-handed nonsense. You’ll use your right arm from now on.”

(I left his office totally bewildered and used my left hand for the rest of the day with no issues. I told my parents, who reported it to the school governors. The headmaster retired a month later, and the teacher went on maternity leave later in the year and never came back. It wasn’t mentioned again. I wasn’t able to move schools, as no school in the area had a spare place. It was all a bit weird.)

(I recently began work in the hotel side of a pretty renowned local restaurant with a Michelin star rating. I was worried that my coworkers would be stuffy or very serious, but instead they’re very down-to-earth. They’re very careful to be professional but friendly with guests, but we have a good laugh when everyone is checked out. Guests can be a bit of a mixed bag — as we all know! — so when we serve breakfasts in their suites, conversation is generally reserved to polite questions about dinner in the restaurant the night before. One morning this conversation transpires.)

Coworker: “So, how did you find your dinner last night?”

Guest: “Oh, quite wonderful. I’m still full! I don’t know how I’m going to manage after this breakfast!”

Coworker: *without thinking* “Not to worry; go for a jog around in the garden outside to work it all off!”

Guest: “This is a five-star establishment!“

(There is a moment of pause as we begin to run through all the ways this conversation could hurtle rapidly downhill. My coworker, thinking he is offended, makes to try and preemptively smooth over the situation.)

Guest: *laughing* “I would expect someone to go outside and do the running for me!”

(I’m working on the tills and I am approached by a woman holding a packet of crisps. She doesn’t put them on the belt but holds them out to me. She has the look of a very stern headmistress.)

Customer: “I found this on the shelf reduced to 10p. They went off at the end of last month.”

Me: “Ah, yes. We reduced it because it was near the expiration date.”

Customer: “It is illegal to reduce stock after it has expired. Did you know that?”

Me: “It was likely reduced as it neared the best-before date to clear it off the shelves. We are allowed to sell stock which is nearing or has gone past its best-before date up to a month afterwards.”

Customer: *in a patronising tone* “Really? Well, that’ll be something interesting to write in my blog.”

(She strutted off looking very superior. For a few seconds, I stared after her, still holding the crisps. Behind her a male customer was trying his hardest not to laugh. I checked with a supervisor later and he clarified what I had said; we throw away stock which has reached the use-by date, but we can sell stock one month after the best-before date. We broke no laws, and hopefully the woman did her research and realised that before she wrote her blog!)