Fair Trade Waylaid

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, where is the tea?”

Me: “Right this way.”

Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade? It’s more expensive!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you are missing the point.”

Customer: “It’s more expensive! That isn’t very fair to me!”


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The Holy Ghost

, , , , , , , | Right | November 4, 2010

Tourist: “Excuse me, do you know why are there so many police and ambulances about?”

Me: “It’s for the Pope’s visit. He’s preaching in the Cathedral and then there’s a procession.”

Tourist: “But didn’t the Pope die years ago?”

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How To Kill, To Kill A Mockingbird, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | November 4, 2010

(I find a young customer looking a little lost in the nature section.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for a book about killing birds.”

Me: “Killing birds?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need it for school.”

Me: “Do you mean To Kill a Mockingbird, by any chance?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s it! Do you have it?”

(I take him to the classics section and show him the book.)

Me: “You know, its not actually about killing birds.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “It’s about social injustice in 1930’s America.”

Customer: “Oh. That doesn’t sound as much fun. Do you have any books about killing birds?”

Me: “I hope not.”

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Telling A Tall Tale

, , , | Right | November 1, 2010

(I work on a ride with a height restriction of 1.3 metres. I have just rejected a young girl who was well under the restriction when her father storms up to me.)

Customer: “Why the h*** did you say my daughter couldn’t come on your ride? She’s been queuing for nearly an hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the height restrictions are clearly stated in the brochure that you’re holding and at the beginning of the queuing area for the ride.”

Customer: “I’ve paid for her to come into this park and you’re telling me she can’t go on the rides?”

Me: “Sir, there are plenty of rides that she can go on that have lower height restrictions, but unfortunately, she’s too small for this one.”

Customer: “Well, she was tall enough last year!”


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Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service

, , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2010

Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry. Due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait five minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

(The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, There was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

Customer: “Your colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”


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