Introducing Byte-agra

, , , , | Right | August 31, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help?”

Customer: “I’m looking for… er… a stiffy disk.”

Me: “I’m sorry… what was it you were after?”

Customer: “I think it’s called stiffy disk.”

Me: “Stiffy… wait, do you mean floppy discs?”

Customer: “Ah, yes! FLOPPY disks!”

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Hell In A Handbag

, , , , | Right | August 27, 2009

Me: “That will be 17.50, please.”

Customer: “Are you a Christian, dear?”

Me: “Why do you ask?”

Customer: “Are you?”

Me: “Well, no. Why do you want to know?”

Customer: “Oh. I would like to be helped by someone else, please.”

Manager: “Good morning, ma’am, I hear you’ve been having a problem with the clerk?”

Customer: “Oh, she didn’t make any trouble, it’s just that I don’t want my money to be handled by someone not of the faith. You should be careful. She’ll probably nick from the till when you’re not looking.”

Manager: “You’re right, ma’am. I shall definitely have to reprimand her.”

Me: *surprised* “What for?”

Manager: “For failing to notice that the lady was not planning on paying for the three Mars bars and the map of Europe she must have put in her bag while you were fetching me.”

(The customer freezes for a second, then looks at her bag.)

Customer: “Good heavens! I must’ve been so distracted I didn’t even notice the devil putting them there!”

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Try The New Pool At Hogwarts

, , , | Right | August 21, 2009

Customer: “Why is it that your pool is so small?”

Me: “It is a therapeutics pool, geared towards people to do their exercises.”

Customer: “So, there is no other pool in this building?”

Me: “No, there is no other pool in this building, but there is one up the street.”

Customer: “Can’t you just make it bigger?”


This story is part of the Confused-With-Science-themed roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Hilarious Stories About Customers Versus Mother Nature

 

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Read the Confused-With-Science-themed roundup!

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Flying The Foul-Mouthed Skies

, , , , | Right | August 4, 2009

(Note: when checking in for a flight, customers are asked to provide the customer service agent with a six-digit code.)

Me: “May I have your confirmation code, please, ma’am?”

Customer: “Sure. It’s ‘A’ as in a**hole, ‘F’ as in f***, one, five, ‘B’ as in b****, and ‘C’ as in c**t.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Um, okay… thank you. I’ll just find you in the system…”


This story is part of our Swearing Customers roundup!

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Read the Swearing Customers roundup!

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A Violent, Delicious Meal

, | Right | July 31, 2009

Customer: *shocked* “This isn’t what I ordered!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is haddock and chips. You ordered fish and chips, right?”

Customer: “No! Definitely not. It was something else.”

Me: “Okay. What did you order?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. But it was broken.”

Me: “Broken? Are you sure?”

Customer: “Yes! It was smashed! Smashed, I tell you! It was smashed!”

Me: *slowly* “Ah… that’ll be it. It’s battered haddock, ma’am. Battered… in batter… and then deep-fried.”

Customer: *suddenly regaining her calm* “Oh. Yes, that sounds right.” *smiles and returns to her meal*

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