It’s Not Like They’re Permanent Or Anything

, , , | Right | September 15, 2009

(A walk-in customer goes to sit in the tattoo chair, which is unusual before a consultation.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “Oh, a little nervous. This is my first tattoo.”

Me: “There’s nothing to be afraid of. The process is generally more annoying than painful. What sort of design are we doing for you?”

Customer: “Oh, I have to pick one?!”


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Harry & Ginny: The Golden Years

, , , , | Right | September 10, 2009

(A man walks up to my register with his wife; they have a few items, one of which is a broom.)

Me: “How are you guys today?”

Husband: “Oh, we’re good.”

(The husband takes the broom and places it on the counter, and then stares at his wife).

Wife: “What?”

Husband: “Are you sure you’re going to fit on this?”


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But Who Gets To Keep The Charger?

, , , , | Right | September 10, 2009

(The customer calls in, having trouble with the BlueTooth in her vehicle.)

Me: “Thank You for calling [store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “I am having trouble with my BlueTooth thing.”

Me: “I can definitely help you with that. What is the nature of your problem?”

Customer: “I need help marrying my phone back with my car. When I bought the car they were married, and somehow they got divorced.”

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The Forbidden Fruit

, , , , | Right | September 9, 2009

(I’ve just finished putting a cherry on top of an older woman’s ice cream. It’s slowly starting to roll down the side.)

Me: “Oh, watch it! You’re about to lose your cherry!”

Customer: “Oh, dearie, I lost that a long time ago.”


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Dim Witted And Off The Deep End

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2009

Me: “Hello, this is [Pool]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What are your sessions today?”

Me: “Our sessions today are 12:30 to 4:30 and 7:15 to dark.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *more slowly and clearly, but still polite* “Our sessions today are 12:30 to 4:30 and 7:15 to dark–around 9:00 pm.”

Customer: “What’s dark?”

Me: “Around 9:00 pm.”

Customer: “No, what is dark?”

Me: “When the… sun goes down?”

Customer: “Oh, how rude!” *click*


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