The Imperial Left Or The Metric Left

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2009

Guest: “How do you get to a cash machine??”

Me: “You exit the hotel, turn left, and then–”

Guest: “Turn left?”

Me: “Yes, left.”

Guest: “Left?”

Me: “Yes, left.” *pointing with my hand*

Guest: *confused* “Left… right…”

Me: “Left in England is the same as left in America.”

Guest: “Oh, okay! I get it!”


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Not Thinking Outside The Box – Part 2

, , , | Right | October 14, 2009

(I’m on the phone with a customer who had returned an empty box with no tape to our video rental store.)

Customer: “…I f***ing DID return that tape this morning!”

Me: “Sorry, but you actually only returned an empty box.”

(The customer continues yelling at me and calling me names. I patiently wait until he stops.)

Me: “Could you do me a small favour? Go over to your VCR and press the eject button.”

(The customer curses me out again, but I hear him rest the phone down and then hear a VCR ejecting a tape. There is a silence, then the phone is picked up.)

Customer: “Um… I’ll be round in ten minutes.”


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Read/Write/Think Error

, , , | Right | October 6, 2009

Customer: “You said you were going to save all my data to the DVD! I can’t get anything!”

Me: “I assure you, I saved it to that DVD.”

Customer: “No, no! It’s still not there! It keeps telling me to insert the disk!”

Me: “Well… did you put the DVD in the drive yet?”

Customer: “No! Does it have to be there?”

Me: “Yes, it does. You can’t view the contents of the DVD unless the drive is able to read the DVD.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just silly!”

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Part-Time Customer, Full-Time Cavity Crusader

, , , | Right | October 1, 2009

(I’m restocking the confectionery section and have a trolley almost overloaded with boxes of candy and sweets.)

Customer: *gasping* “Young man! How dare you! What’s your parents’ names and number? I’m going to call them and tell them you’re buying so many sweets!”

(I point to my name badge.)

Me: “I work here. I’m just restocking the shelves.”

Customer: “Well… they shouldn’t have someone like you doing that, then!”


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Name Brain Drain

, , , , , | Right | September 15, 2009

(A customer reads my name tag.)

Customer: “That’s a strange name isn’t it?”

Me: “Heh.”

Customer: “How do you pronounce that? Tain-ee… Trenay? Seriously, what is that? Welsh? Irish?”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “It sounds really exotic, really foreign.”

Me: “No, no, I am a trainee. Trainee isn’t my name.”

Customer: “Ohh, right. Well, thanks for the help, Train-ee!”


This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

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