Serious Lack Of Lumber-standing

, , , , , | Right | January 15, 2010

(A woman comes into my shop to buy some skirting board for her house. After a good long while of her calling home to find out the measurements of what she needs, I give her the price.)

Customer: “How long will it take?”

Me: “About a week and a half. It has to be made specially in our factory.”

Customer: “Well, that’s no good. I have to collect the children from school in an hour!”


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Elementary, My Dear Mr. Darcy

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2010

Customer: “I want a refund! Sherlock Holmes was possibly the worst film adaptation of a Jane Austin book I’ve ever seen!”

Me:Sherlock Holmes was not written by Jane Austen. It was written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

Customer: “I thought there was something odd about it. Well, I guess it really is nothing at all like her other books. Silly me!”

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Back Tea The Basics

, , | Right | January 8, 2010

Me: “For a quick cup of tea, this is a simple infuser to use.”

Customer: “Infuser? What’s that mean?”

Me: “Oh, it’s just another word for something that you use to steep tea in hot water.”

Customer: “What’s that mean?”

Me: “Steep? It’s just another word for brewing.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “It means ‘make tea’.”

Customer: “Oooooh!”


This story is part of the Still-Not-Getting-It roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Times The Police Made It Official That Stupid Is A Crime

 

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The Imperial Left Or The Metric Left

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2009

Guest: “How do you get to a cash machine??”

Me: “You exit the hotel, turn left, and then–”

Guest: “Turn left?”

Me: “Yes, left.”

Guest: “Left?”

Me: “Yes, left.” *pointing with my hand*

Guest: *confused* “Left… right…”

Me: “Left in England is the same as left in America.”

Guest: “Oh, okay! I get it!”


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Not Thinking Outside The Box – Part 2

, , , | Right | October 14, 2009

(I’m on the phone with a customer who had returned an empty box with no tape to our video rental store.)

Customer: “…I f***ing DID return that tape this morning!”

Me: “Sorry, but you actually only returned an empty box.”

(The customer continues yelling at me and calling me names. I patiently wait until he stops.)

Me: “Could you do me a small favour? Go over to your VCR and press the eject button.”

(The customer curses me out again, but I hear him rest the phone down and then hear a VCR ejecting a tape. There is a silence, then the phone is picked up.)

Customer: “Um… I’ll be round in ten minutes.”


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