(I am out shopping when a young girl, maybe four or five years of age, runs up to me and hugs my leg. A woman is following her.)

Woman: “[Girl], come on, we need to finish shopping for Grandma’s party!”

Girl: “No! I want to stay here!”

Woman: “This is ridiculous.”

(She grabs the girls arm and the girl makes an ear-splitting scream. The woman lets go and huffs.)

Woman: “You don’t mind.” *walks away*

Me: *shouting after her* “I do mind, actually!”

(I manage to get the attention of a worker, who tries to bring the woman back while I try to get the girl off me. When the woman returns, she starts shouting at me and the other workers who have been trying to help.)

Woman: “In what world do you live in where you think it is appropriate to handle a little girl like this?!”

Me: “In what world do you think it’s okay to leave a little girl with a man you don’t know?!”

(She blushed and tried grabbing the girl again. The girl started screaming again and kicking me. By this time the police had been alerted, and once the girl was successfully removed and calmed down, I was questioned on why I was letting all of this happen. Thanks to the workers in the store, and the woman who at this point was absolutely hysterical, I was free to go after it was discovered the woman had taken her niece out without the girl’s mother’s permission, who had actually made a call to the police about the girl being missing.)

(A woman has stood a little off the registers staring at the menu boards. We’ve just left her to decide, assuming she will step forward when she is ready. She finally does.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get you?”

Customer: “Where’s my food?”

Me: “Did you order already?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What did you order?”

Customer: “Do I really have to say it again?!”

Me: “Sorry, it’s just that I have been here the entire time, and all you’ve done is stand there for ten minutes and then come to me.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not leaving without my food. I want it for free, as well. The service here stinks!”

(I call a manager and try to explain, but she persists that she did order and that I’m just being rude and lazy. The manager goes into the office just off to the side of the registers and checks the camera footage.)

Manager: “Sorry, I have just checked the last half hour. You came in, stood a metre back from where you are, and stared at the menu. That’s all you did. You haven’t ordered.”

(The woman’s eyes lose focus temporarily and then snap back.)

Customer: “Oh, I guess I was daydreaming.”

(She then left without another word.)

Patron: “Is this tomato? I’m allergic.”

Me: “No.”

Patron: “How can you be so sure?!”

Me: “We don’t serve tomato with ice cream.”

(I am browsing in a shop that sells jewellery, scarves, and other accessories. I find something I want to buy and wait while they serve another customer, a young woman who is trying on a necklace. Neither the customer nor the owner speak English as a first language.)

Customer: “I’m not sure. I think the chain might be a bit long.”

Owner: “We could cut the chain, if you like.”

Customer: *noncommittally, as if she’s mulling it over* “Okay.”

(The owner’s wife immediately snatches the necklace away and cuts the chain.)

Owner: “That will be [price].”

Customer: *looks at the necklace again and tries it on with the new chain length* “No, I don’t think I want it.”

Owner: “You have to buy it now. We cut the chain for you. We can’t sell it.”

Customer: “I didn’t ask you to.”

Owner: “You said, ‘Okay.’ ‘Okay,’ means, ‘Yes.’ You don’t speak proper English. I speak English. ‘Okay,’ means, ‘Yes.’ You must buy it.”

Customer: “I don’t want to buy it.”

(Then, the owner and his wife physically manhandled the woman out of the shop, yelling about how they were going to call the police on her. I threw down the thing I was thinking of buying and ran out of the shop, too, chasing after the woman, who was sobbing on the street, to console her. I still regret not calling the police on them for assault, or even saying something to them.)

Coworker: “That is [amount], please. Are you paying with cash or card?”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “Cash or card?”

Customer: “I can’t hear you.”

Coworker: *raising his voice* “Cash or card?”

Coworker: “Stop mumbling. Didn’t your mother teach you about mumbling?!”

Coworker: *yelling* “CASH OR CARD?!”

Customer: “All right, all right, you don’t have to shout! How much is it?”

Coworker: “[Amount].”

Customer: “What?”

(I have yet to see someone go so completely dead behind the eyes since.)