When You Don’t Want A Quick Service

, , , | Right | October 14, 2010

Customer: “I’d like to take my wife’s name off the account. She’s leaving me.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. It looks like your wife has already called us to do that. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Oh, no, it’s just all so quick. She only told me on Wednesday night and now she’s gone.”

(I check the account history and see she called us early on Tuesday. I thought it best not to tell the customer.)

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You’ll Have To Connect At Baked Alaska

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2010

Me: “Hi, would you like to buy a ticket?”

Customer: “Yes, when is your next flight to Oregano?”

Me: “Oregano?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s in America. I think it’s a state?”

(On my computer, I find the Wikipedia page for Oregano.)

Customer: “Oh… I’m not dumb, I swear…”

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Algae Get Another One

, , | Right | October 2, 2010

(A middle-aged couple comes into the tropical fish section.)

Customer: “Hello, we bought some algae eaters a while back, and they died after about two weeks. We bought some more and they did exactly the same after two weeks and we were just wondering what could have been wrong with them?”

Me: “What have you been feeding them?”

Customer: “Nothing, we thought they ate the algae.”

Me: “They do, if there’s enough to go around.”

Customer: “Oh, dear. Well, they did keep the glass awfully clear.”

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Watashi Whaaa

, , , , | Right | September 30, 2010

(I really like Japanese animation and am learning Japanese as a second language so I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what kind of music would you recommend? I want to know what CD I should buy.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t think I listen to the kind of music you’d be interested in.”

Customer: “That’s not very helpful. Just tell me what kind of music you like.”

Me: “Well, I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.”

Customer: “I love that song!”

Me: “It’s not just one song. There are a lot of songs in Japanese.”

Customer: “Really? How many.”

Me: “Oh, far too many to count. There are thousands!”

Customer: “Well, that’s a bit silly, isn’t it? What’s the point in making songs in a language that no one can understand?”

Me: “A lot of people understand Japanese.”

Customer: “Like who?”

Me: “The people who live in Japan?”

Customer: “You mean Japan’s a real place?! Well, you learn something new every day!”


This story is part of our Japan roundup!

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The Customer Is A Fool, Of This I Am Curtain

, , | Right | September 24, 2010

Customer: *holding a pair of curtains* “Excuse me, will these curtains fit in my window?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir. Do you have the measurements of the window with you?”

Customer: *confused* “Measurements? I need to measure the window? How do I do that?”

(I hand the man a leaflet explaining how to measure windows correctly.)

Customer: “Oh, okay. I didn’t realise you had to take measurements. I just guessed it was one size fits all.”

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