Has Some Hang-Ups About Working There

, , , , | Working | November 29, 2017

(I’ve been working at [Retailer] for about two months. One morning, I wake up feeling like death and unable to speak because my throat is so swollen. I’m supposed to be working this morning, so I ask my mum to call in for me, which she does. I can hear my mum’s side of the conversation, and a bit of what the manager is saying.)

Mum: “Hi, this is [My Name]’s mother. I’m afraid she’s unwell today and can’t come in, but she has a doctor’s appointment booked. Also, she cannot speak, so I’m calling on her behalf.”

Boss: *in a somewhat sarcastic voice* “Well, I’m sure she can handle calling me herself.”

Mum: “But like I said, she can’t speak. That’s why I’m calling for her.”

Boss: “Well, that’s just tough!” *hangs up*

Mum: *puts her head round the door with a shocked and now angry expression* “Can you believe that? He just hung up on me!”

(She called him back and told him how rude he was to hang up on her. His response? He hung up again. I didn’t work there for much longer.)

The Evolution Of A Nuisance

, , , , , | Learning | November 29, 2017

Friend: “How does this evolution stuff work? I thought we were all made by the Lord Almighty in his image.” *crosses his heart*

(The teacher begrudgingly answers the question.)

Me: “Umm, I thought you were an atheist?”

Friend: “I am, but [Teacher] has been lying to my parents about how I’m a nuisance because I disagreed with our last piece of coursework, so I’m going to show her what a real nuisance is like.”

(For three months he asked the most ignorant and mind-numbing questions you can imagine. After our quarterly parent’s evening, he stopped, so I assume it all got sorted out.)

A Sickening List Of Ingredients

, , , , , , , , | Related | November 29, 2017

(My mum and I work and live together, and we’ve swung by the local supermarket to pick up some things. My day has been awful, so I go around picking things up for myself. I meet up again with my mum before checking out.)

Mum: “Milkshake and cream dessert? You’re not allowed dairy! You’ll get sick!”

Me: “Tobacco and wine? You’ve got half a working lung! You are sick!”

Mum: *pauses* “Touché.”

(No, neither of us put anything back.)

Certifiably Bad Service

, , , , , | Working | November 29, 2017

(My car insurance is due for renewal, and I’ve received a letter that tells me that not only will it be £200 more than last year, but they’ve taken the business coverage off, which I need occasionally to drive to meetings, etc, for work. I double-check last year’s documents, then call the renewals helpline. I get through to a customer service representative who confirms my details, then asks how she can help.)

Me: “I need to add business coverage back on, and I’m wondering why the premium has increased so much, particularly as I have an extra year of No Claims Bonus now.”

Representative: “I’m looking at your account now, sir, and you didn’t have business coverage last year; that’s why we haven’t quoted for it this year.”

Me: “Yes, I did. I’ve got last year’s policy documents in front of me. It’s on there.”

Representative: “No, your policy didn’t have that coverage last year.”

Me: “It did. I have the certificate here.”

Representative: “I can see your policy from last year, sir, and it’s not on there.”

Me: “Well, it is, because I have the certificate. Can you see the certificate?”

Representative: “I can see on my system that you didn’t have it.”

Me: “Can you look at the certificate, please? It’s definitely on there.”

Representative: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir; you didn’t have that coverage.”

Me: “So, you can’t see my current certificate on your system? The one that’s still valid until the fifth?”

Representative: “Sir, arguing with me isn’t going to help if it wasn’t on there.”

Me: “This is ridiculous. Do you want me to send you a picture of the certificate I have here?”

Representative: “That won’t be necessary; I can see it on my system.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD!”

Representative: “Oh, yes, I can see that it shows you had business coverage last year.”

Me: “I know.”

Representative: “That’s weird, because it’s not on the system.”

Me: “So, can you add it to my coverage for next year?”

Representative: “No. The underwriter doesn’t offer business insurance any more.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD!”

Representative: “Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

Me: “No, I guess I’ll go with the quote I got online that was half the price you were quoting, then.”

Representative: “Would it be okay if I put you through to an automated survey where you can rate your satisfaction with my service today, please?”

Me: “I don’t think you want to do that.”

Unfiltered Story #101067

, | Unfiltered | November 29, 2017

My friend is sitting by the computer at his desk and I’m on my laptop on his bed. All of a sudden an advert starts playing. My friend is frantically trying to close it but didn’t manage to do so. At the end of the advert ends my friend gives me a confused look.

Friend: Even at the end of that I still have no clue what they were trying to sell…

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