(I am in the local supermarket. This particular supermarket has its own radio show that is played all day. As well as playing music, they often share trivia or interesting facts and such. One such fact that the presenter gives is that experts fear that the iconic Sunday roast will be extinct in ten to twenty years. An old man not far from me stiffens and scowls and turns to the woman with him.)

Man: “It’s those f****** vegans! They’re killing the Sunday roast! What the h*** is wrong with kids these days? Back in my day, we didn’t complain; we ate what we were told to. I didn’t fight in a war just for those cry babies to cry and whinge all the time. I tell you, kids these days have no manners and only care about themselves!”

(He continues to rant and complain about how vegans are the problem, getting angrier and angrier. The woman with him manages to calm him down and they move on. A staff member comes up to me.)

Staff Member: “Is everything okay? What happened?”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry. It’s just the vegans.”

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My daughter is in the ICU suffering from Guillain-Barré syndrome. She is totally paralysed from her eyes to the tips of her toes, being made to breathe via a tracheotomy and a bank of syringe drivers automatically delivering an assortment of high-strength pain relief. A friend comes to visit and I warn her that my daughter is suffering from a bad headache today.

“Oh,” she says, “Have they given her anything for it?”

Both the nurse and I have to look away. Duh!

(I work in a cafe and this exchange happens at least weekly.)

Me: “That’ll be [price], then, please.”

Customer: “What?!”

(Cue back and forth where I explain to them that yes, the prices are the same as on the massive menu board directly above their head, and yes, you DO have to pay for your drinks… which are also listed on said menu board.)

Customer: “Well, I never! I’ve never heard of such prices! And you have to pay extra for [extra item], too?! This is outrageous!”

Me: *sick to my back teeth of hearing this* “I’m afraid I don’t have any control over the prices, sir. I can take some items off for you if you like?”

Customer: “Yes, I know it’s not up to you; there’s no need to get all defensive! It’s not you that I’m pissed off at!”

Me: *internally* “Funny, for someone who claims to know it’s not my fault, you sure enjoy yelling at me for something I have no control over.”

(I am sat in the living room watching a game review on YouTube. My mum has been watching TV.)

Mum: “Why are you watching other people play games?”

Me: “It’s a review. I’m not actually watching them play it.”

Mum: “That’s silly. You should just play it yourself.”

Me: “I’m deciding whether I should, based on the review, and besides–” *looking directly at her*  “–how is it any different from you watching [Home Decorating Show]?”

Mum: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You should just decorate yourself instead of watching someone else do it.”

Mum: “That’s completely different! I’m getting inspiration for when I do want to redecorate.”

Me: “And I’m getting inspired to play this game.” *puts headphones in and ignores her trying to justify the difference*

Me: “My name is [My Name]; how can I help?”

Customer: “Are you English?”

Me: *pause* “How is it I can help?”

Customer: “Are you English? Are you based in England?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t see how that is relevant to any queries you may have, sir. How is it I can help?”

Customer: “How dare you?! How dare you speak to me like that?! I refuse to speak to someone as rude as you! Get me someone else now!”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “NOW! I will not be spoken to like that! You people are all so f****** d*** rude! Get me someone English now!”

Me: “Once again, sir, no. Now if you can give me your name and your query… how is it I can help?”

Customer: “I refuse to speak to you. You’re being so d*** rude; get me someone else!”

Me: “Sir, if you refuse to give me any of your information or tell me why you are ringing, I cannot help. My ethnicity and race are irrelevant to anything you have to ask; if you don’t like that answer then I’m sorry but I’m ending the call.”

Customer: “Get. Me. Somebody. Else.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Now.”

Me: “Thanks for your call today. Sorry I haven’t been able to help any further. Please enjoy your day.” *hangs up*