The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2012

(I am a woman working at a shop that specializes in mountain climbing equipment. I happen to be very experienced when it comes to trekking, so often colleagues ask me to help people who are planning a mountain trek. My coworker is bringing a male customer over to me for trek-planning help.)

Coworker: “And here’s [My Name] now. She’s our expert when it comes mountain treks!”

Male Customer: “Don’t be stupid.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Male Customer: “Girls don’t climb mountains.”

Me: *laughs* “This girl does! Where are you hoping to climb?”

Male Customer: “Well, I’m climbing the highest peak in the Atlas region.”

Me: “Oh, Jebel Toubkal? Excellent, I did that last year. What time of year are you planning to go?”

Male Customer: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Male Customer: “Can you just bring back the man I spoke to first? I’m sure he’ll know more about it than you.”

Me: “You think my male colleague, who specializes in camping, low-level trekking, and biking, will be more equipped to help you than me, a woman who climbed the exact mountain you’re planning to climb?”

Male Customer: “Yes.”

(I fetched my coworker, who was forced to continue checking with me to see if what he was selling was okay. The worst part: my staff identification picture is of me at the summit of Jebel Toubkal!)


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A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2

, , , | Right | March 10, 2012

(I’m a makeup artist on a counter in a large department store. Although I don’t have anything to do with the department store, lots of customers approach me for help, and I’m usually able to assist.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell the Nintendo 3DS?”

Me: “We don’t in store, but I can order one for you.”

Customer: “You know, I wish everything was in 3D. The world would be so much more interesting!”

Me: “Ma’am, everything is in 3D, including yourself.”

Customer: “Whatever. Airheaded bimbo!” *storms off*


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Reading Too Much Into A Relationship

, , , , , | Romantic | March 5, 2012

(I have a lot of moles all over my body, quite a few of which are pronounced bumps.)

Girlfriend: *stroking my back* “You know, your back would be perfect for reading Braille.”


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To Boldy Go, As You Wish

, , , , , , | Romantic | March 1, 2012

(I am watching TV while my wife reads a magazine.)

Me: “Oh, honey, look—The Princess Bride is on.”

Wife: “What’s that?”

Me: “You’re joking, right?”

Wife: “Is it a cartoon? Sounds like a cartoon.”

Me:The Princess Bride? You’ve honestly never seen The Princess Bride? Who ARE you?”

Wife: “Why are you looking at me like you’re going to divorce me?”

Me: “Not seeing The Princess Bride is like saying you haven’t seen Star Wars.”

Wife: “Ooh! I know that one! That’s the one with the silly man with the pointy ears?”


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Spelling Isn’t Tweasy

, | Related | February 20, 2012

(My mother keeps a shopping list on the kitchen worktop for anyone to add to, when they notice we need something. My mum is talking to my fourteen-year-old sister.)

Mum: “Why have you added ‘tweezers’ to the shopping list?”

Sister: “I want a pair to pluck my eyebrows with.”

Mum: “You’ve spelt it T-W-E-A-S-E-R-S.”

Sister: “So?”

Mum: “So, I’ll buy you tweezers when you can spell it correctly.”

(Over next few days, my mother would find a different – and always incorrect – permutation of the spelling of “tweezers” on the shopping list. After about a week, she finds the following scrawled on the list instead.)

List: “Screw it, I’ll buy them myself!”

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