Picture Imperfect

, , | Right | April 3, 2010

(I am speaking to a woman who is wanting to specify a ring valued at £4,000.)

Me: “Okay, just to let you know that because the item is valued at over £1,500, you will need to provide proof of its value if you do have to make a claim on it.”

Customer: “So a receipt would be okay?”

Me: “That’ll be fine, but for peace of mind a lot of people take pictures of their more expensive items in case they do need to claim on them because of loss or theft.”

Customer: *long pause* “Um… how am I supposed to take a picture of it if I have lost it?”

Me: “You… you take a picture of it before you lose it.”

Customer: “Oh! That makes more sense now. I thought you were saying I’d have to find it again so I can take a picture to claim for it.”

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Santa Baby

, , , , | Right | March 30, 2010

(I am a supervisor in a daycare. It is Christmas Eve and a child’s mother has arrived to pick him up.)

Mother: “So, is it okay if I send in his presents with him tomorrow so he can open them here?”

Me: “Tomorrow? It’s Christmas Day tomorrow… We’ll be closed.”

Mother: “What? You’re closed tomorrow? But what am I supposed to do with my kid?”

Me: “Oh, do you have to work tomorrow? That’s unfortunate.”

Mother: “Work tomorrow? No, I booked it off a long time ago. Why are you closed tomorrow? You’re always open!”

Me: “Christmas Day is the only day we’re closed all year.”

Mother: “Well, I don’t want him under my feet on Christmas!”

Me: “Um…”

Mother: “You don’t want to baby-sit, do you?”

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You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2

, , , , | Right | March 28, 2010

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m after some Durex.”

Me: “Durex? I’m sorry, we don’t sell Durex.”

Customer: “Not even for toys?”

Me: “For toys?”

Customer: “Duracell! Duracell batteries!”


This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

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Sizing Up Customers

, , , | Right | March 24, 2010

(An elderly female customer has been looking intently at the PC games for about ten minutes.)

Me: “Hi, are you all right there? Do you have any questions?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. I have a PC upstairs, and a laptop downstairs.”

Me: “Right.”

Customer: “Will there games work on both? The CD tray is bigger on the PC.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “And smaller on the laptop.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure they’re both the same size.”

Customer: “But the laptop is smaller.”

Me: “They will work on both; trust me.”

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Copyright Meets Copywrong

, , , | Right | March 18, 2010

(A teenage boy and girl come up to my till with a recently purchased CD.)

Teenage Boy: “I want to return this CD.”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Teenage Boy: “No, I just didn’t like it.”

Me: “Well, I’m afraid I can’t give you a refund, but you can exchange it.”

Teenage Boy: “That’s not on. I want to see the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Teenage Boy: “I want my money back for this CD and he won’t give it to me.”

Manager: “I’m afraid we can’t give you a refund but you can exchange it for another CD.”

Teenage Girl: “He doesn’t want another CD. Why would we want another CD when he can just copy them?”

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