That Customer Was Bad Economics

, , , , , , | Right | November 6, 2017

(I am a customer in this story. I am looking for a book for class. Seeing that the only employee at the help desk is already assisting a customer, I go to search for the book on my own. Unsuccessful, I return to the desk ten minutes later to see the same customer still there. He is speaking very slowly, as if half-asleep.)

Customer: “I’m sure you have it. It’s supposed to be a very good book.”

Employee: “I’m sure it is, but nothing is coming up in my search. Are you sure you can’t remember the title?”

Customer: *ignoring question* “Economics. It’s about economics. The lecture was very interesting.”

Employee: “Well, we have a lot of books on economics. How about [Book #1]? That one is very popular.”

Customer: “No, no. It was in the lecture. That’s not it. He mentioned it and I want to read it.”

Employee: “Yes, I understand, but unfortunately I won’t be able to find that exact book if you don’t know the title, author, or specific subject matter.”

Customer: “Economics. Bad economics. Like monsters. Monsters in the economy…” *begins talking about current economic events*

(This goes on for another agonizing eight to ten minutes, and I’m torn between laughing and being extremely annoyed, but I am incredibly impressed at the employee’s patience. Another employee finally comes to the desk to assist me, and is able to confirm within 30 seconds that the book I’m looking for is out of stock. Just as I’m about to leave, I hear:)

Employee: “Sir, what about [Book #2]? I searched for recent lectures on economics and this book came up. Does [Book #2] sound familiar?”

Customer: “No… Well, yes. That could be it. That might be it. Yes. That was the book.”

Employee: “Fantastic! We don’t currently have it in stock, but I can order it for you and it will be here by the end of the week.”

Customer: “Oh, no. No, I don’t want to buy it. I just wanted the title. I’ll go find it at the library.” *leaves without saying thank you*

Employee: *slowly lowers head onto desk*


, , , , | Friendly | November 6, 2017

(I get a random text message from my friend.)

Friend: “How do you spell ‘contrite?’”

Me: “You just spelled it?”

Friend: “Oh, yeah. Thanks!”

Some People Have The Nerve

, , , , , , | Learning | November 6, 2017

(One of my friends at college has a hidden disability. Her nerve endings send pain signals so she is in constant pain; however, walking is doable. On top of that, she needs a hip replacement at the age of 18, which makes stairs impossible. This means she takes the lift just going up a single flight of stairs. I’ve started going with her because she’s told me people often make comments. We get the lift with a group of guys who are on the sports degree. I press the button for floor one.)

Guy #1: *condescendingly* “That’s lazy, don’t you think?”

Me: *smiles* “My friend’s nerve endings don’t work properly, which means she’s in constant agony. Plus, she needs a double hip replacement due to a birth defect.”

(There’s silence.)

Guy #2: *to [Guy #1] in a light jovial tone* “Bet you feel like a right d*** now.”

A Chip Of Politeness

, , , , , , | Hopeless | November 5, 2017

(Our gas has been temporarily disconnected, as we’re getting a new boiler installed, so I pop to the fish and chip shop to get dinner for our family. I’ve not been in there before.)

Me: “Hi, can I have a standard cod and chips, please, a battered sausage and chips, and two fishcakes?”

Employee: “Of course, love. Any sauces?”

Me: “Oh, yes. Curry sauce, please.”

Employee: “Okay, coming right up.”

(She then scoops out the two standard portions of chips.)

Employee: “Salt and vinegar on these ones, love?”

Me: “Oh, yes, please, both on that one. Thanks.”

(I notice at this point that she puts another scoop of chips in the bag.)

Employee: “And the cod wrapped together?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

(She adds another scoop of chips, and wraps them up.)

Employee: “And on the second chips, salt and vinegar?”

Me: “Just salt please.”

(She adds another scoop of chips to this lot, as well. I think I can see what’s happening here.)

Employee: “And the battered sausage wrapped with these, fishcakes separate?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

(Another scoop of chips. She repeats my order back to me while wrapping the fishcakes and curry sauce cup.)

Employee: “Anything else for you tonight, love?”

Me: “No, thanks; that looks great. Thank you.”

(Another massive scoop of chips. She confirms what I suspected.)

Employee: “Just in case you’re wondering, every time someone says ‘please’ or ‘thank you,’ I give them another scoop of chips. The clever people like you work that out. Although I think you were brought up right; you say your ‘pleases’ and ‘thank-yous’ to everyone, I bet.”

Me: “What a great idea! It’s a shame that you have to reward people for what should be a common courtesy, but I’m glad it works for you. Goodnight, and thanks for all the chips!”

(Of course, I now had more chips than a family of four could possibly eat, but they did us until we got our gas turned back on the next day!)

Bait And Switching Stores

, , , , | Working | November 5, 2017

Me: “I need a new, cheap desktop.”

Floorwalker: “This one’s a good one. £320—” *goes on about the technical specs*

Me: “Yes, that will suit me fine.”

Floorwalker: “Oh, dear! We’re out of stock. You’ll have to have this one instead; it’s £340, and nearly as good as that one.”

Me: “The classic bait-and-switch, eh?”

Floorwalker: “No, it’s not like that! Seriously, we’ve run out of the other one.”

Me: “Well, I suppose I might as well… Okay, let’s go for it.”

Floorwalker: “Ah, er, we’re out of that one, too.”

Me: “Um, you do actually have some computers, don’t you?”

Floorwalker: “Er… No. Not many. Our deliveries come in tomorrow. If you come in tomorrow, you can have one then.”

Me: “Nope, I need one now. Suppose I’ll have to go to [Rival Store].”

(I did, and got one for £230, of a higher spec than the one I was offered at the first place.)

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