The Rainbow Isn’t Complete Without Black

, , , , | Friendly | January 14, 2019

(I’m in a shoe shop, when I see a girl dressed entirely in black with a rainbow bag, clutching some holographic black shoes.)

Girl: *tearing up* “These shoes are black and gay! That’s me! That’s my aesthetic! I NEED them!”

Three Free Fee

, , , | Right | January 14, 2019

(Our store has a “4 for 3” offer on greeting cards. Individual prices are clearly labelled on the backs of the cards to prevent confusion. A customer comes in and looks at the sign for a moment before approaching the counter.)

Customer: “That means four for £3, right?”

Me: “No, it’s four for the price of three.”

Customer: *laughs and looks at me as if I’m stupid* “Yeah, that’s what I just said.”

(I try to explain that she’s incorrect but she wanders off, chooses four cards and comes back to the till again, so I ring up her total.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be £9.99, then, please.”

Customer: “What?! But you said they were four for £3!”

Me: “No, I said they were four for the price of three. Sorry if there was any confusion.”

Customer: “Well, then, I don’t want them. I didn’t want four in the first place. I only got four because you told me it was four for £3. I wanted two. Take two off.”

Me: “Okay, which would you like to take off?”

Customer: “I don’t know! Let me think.”

(Our tills don’t allow item voids; you have to void the entire transaction, so it’s always painful when someone changes their mind. I cancelled it and started over, but then she proceeded to take a solid minute or so debating which cards she wanted to keep while a long queue built behind her, and then made sure to give me a filthy look on the way out.)

Their Credit Card Bill Is Blooming

, , | Right | January 14, 2019

Customer: *to my colleague* “Hey. I bought a card the other day and you charged me for the wrong thing.”

Colleague: “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you have the item and your receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have the card, but here’s the receipt. Here. See? It says, ‘Vase of flowers.’ I didn’t buy a vase of flowers! It’s ridiculous!”

Colleague: “This isn’t the code for an actual vase of flowers. We don’t sell those. This is a card with—“

Customer: “Uh, no, it clearly says, ‘Vase of flowers’. I want a refund. You’ve overcharged me.”

Colleague: “You were charged £1.50, the price of the card you bought, which has a picture of a vase of flowers on it.”

Customer: “Yeah, but… I…”

(Long silence…)

Customer: “I… uh… Yeah.” *snatches up receipt and walks out*

Scammers Bring Out The Inner Psychopath In All Of Us

, , , | Legal | January 13, 2019

(I’ve been getting a lot of scam calls recently and I’m sick of them. The next time one calls I decide to have a little fun with them.)

Scammer: “Good morning, [My Name]. I’m calling from [UK ISP that scammers always claim to be calling from]. We have detected errors on your broadband line…”

Me: “Well, okay, but who did you say you were looking for?”

Scammer: “I’m looking for [My Name]. I’m calling from [UK ISP].”

Me: “Ah, sorry, mate. [My Name] doesn’t actually live here anymore!”

Scammer: “I see. Do you have a number for him?”

Me: “Well, it’s going to be tough to contact him; he’s in prison.”

Scammer: “I don’t understand…”

Me: “Yeah, he’s in prison. Last time someone called him pretending to work for [UK ISP], he hunted them down and stabbed them to death!”

Scammer: “F*** you!” *click*

(I haven’t had any more calls for a while now!)

Unfiltered Story #136386

, | Unfiltered | January 13, 2019

[The shop is already quite crowded with people who came to take their food away, a woman walks in, wearing her pyjamas.]

Me: Hello, what can I get you?
Woman: [Looking as though she’s ready to tear me a new one] I phoned in so that I WOULDN’T have to wait around–
Me: Excuse me, may I have the address you gave?
Woman: [Gives the address]
Me: Let me just go check in the kitchen. I’ll be right back.

[I go in to find out that we haven’t received an order from said address, then go back out and tell her that we haven’t gotten an order for her address]

[The woman looks puzzled for a few moments, before she realises her husband had called the wrong Chinese and storms out, whispering “dickhead” under her breath]

Page 5/308First...34567...Last